2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress

How A Niggle List Can Change Your Life

I bought a new kettle this week. A fancy glass one with 4 preset temperatures. I know, I know, we are living life on the edge here at Thompson Towers.

The old kettle was so old and tired the ON switch wouldn’t stay ON. How annoying is that? I had however, developed a cunning little workaround of weighing down the ON switch with the scrubby washing-up brush. Except then of course it doesn’t turn off so I have to remember to go back in the middle of cleaning my teeth or whatever and catch it when it boils.

Not until I had my shiny new kettle boiling away like a dream that I realised what a ridiculous time-consuming rigmarole the old situation with the kettle was. It annoyed me every single morning and a couple of cuppa times throughout the day. Every day! For…I am embarrassed to say, about 6 months.

And now. Ahhhhhhhh! Nothing. The kettle just boils. Just like that. Easy. Bliss!  My day starts perfectly.

Why on earth did I wait so long to replace my sort of working but let’s face broken kettle? It was a drain on my energy and my attention three times a day, every single day! The new kettle hardly broke the bank so it’s not a money thing. And I am a pretty organised person so it’s not a logistics thing. What then?

I have decided it’s a “workaround” thing. Because I had a jury-rigged system that was working round the problem I put up with it for 5 months and 29 days longer than I would if the damn thing had just blown up.

Life,  I have discovered is full of these jury-rigged workarounds and half-arsed jobs. Things that sort of work but are basically an energy-draining niggle every time we come into contact with them.

I made a Niggle List…what in my day to day life was I putting up with that was an energy-draining annoyance? The certificates I had framed but that had not actually made their way up onto the wall but gathered dust by the wall.  The posh oil pourer thing that doesn’t pour properly giving either a trickle or flooding whatever I am trying to cook. The fact that somehow we only seem to have one wooden spoon so I am forever washing it up. The lack of a playlist for the gym on my i-phone that I only remember every time I pull my trainers on. And so on.

These are all TEENY TINY things. Teeny tiny niggles. But when you are experiencing them two or three times a day or week they all add up to a cumulative low-level irritation and a little bit of our happy positive energy is leaked away.

What’s interesting is that all these little Niggles only seem to take 5 minutes or less, (and more often than not, little to no money) to fix.  Inspired by the energy boost of the kettle I resolved to address my Top 5 Niggles this week. The certificates are up. I have 3 new wooden spoons. The playlist is done. The fancy oil pourer thing is in the donate to charity bag. I can’t believe how much clearer and lighter I feel! It’s no coincidence that I have had an extraordinarily productive week.

By clearing some of the small niggles in life energy drains are plugged allowing us the headspace to concentrate on the big issues.

Try it this week and boost your energy!

Action Step:

Write a Niggle List. What are the Top 10 things in your day to day life or environment that irritate you? The overflowing magazine rack where you can’t find what you need? The broken zip on your favourite pants? The just too bright bedside light on your side of the bed?  Write them down and then address them, 5 this week, 5 next. Clear the small niggles in your life to give more energy and headspace for the big ones!

2020 Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Resilience

Anxiety Creeping In? 6 Quick Ways To Deal With It

When life gets frantic and we feel anxiety creeping in, it can paralyse us and make even the simplest decisions really hard.

We can procrastinate like crazy and that actually makes us feel more anxious!

We can feel this anxiety throughout our body, our shoulders get tense, our breathing shallow and we just want to get this thing SORTED RIGHT NOW GODDAMMIT!

Here are my top strategies for instant anxiety reduction for when you are feeling stressed out about making a decision:


  • Know you always have a choice. There is nothing you HAVE to do other than breathe, everything after that is a choice. They may be hard choices granted but you have choice nevertheless. I try to be grateful that I am living somewhere in the world where as a woman I have complete control and choice in my life, not everyone is so lucky.
  • Hit pause. Breathe. Stop and Breathe. Breath through your nose only, breathe right down to your belly for a count of 4, then out through the nose for a count of 4. Repeat for 6 full breaths and then refocus on the task at hand from a calmer place.
  • Is it a problem or a fact that’s making you anxious? If it’s a problem then there IS a solution, take your time, step back and Figure. It Out. If there is no solution, well, then it’s not a problem that you have, honey, it is a fact. So accept it, however tough it make be, and move on. Focus where you can make a difference not where you can’t.
  • Walk away.  If a solution isn’t readily presenting itself then walk away and engage in a right brain activity. Painting, exercise, baking.  Your subconcious will then have the space it needs to help you come up with an anxiety reducing solution. The time I need yoga or a run most is EXACTLY when I think I don’t have time for it. So be brave and go for the counterintuitive option and create the space you need to decompress and gain perspective back. When you reengage your left brain you will often find the solution has presented itself.
  • When anxiety strikes repeat the following mantra to yourself, as you breath in, and again as you breathe out. Nice and slow. 6 full breaths. “ I have everything I need, and all is well”. Now doesn’t that feel better?
  • Ask yourself “Will this thing matter 10 years from now?” The answer 99% of the time is “Hell No”, so choose not to sweat the small stuff.


Ahhhhhh….now doesn’t that feel better?


2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Happy People Don't Do Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Resilience

Your Bedtime Story

What goes on between our ears has the biggest determination over what goes on in our hearts and in our lives.

One of the biggest areas where we can trip up is when we get facts confused with stories, or “the truth” confused with fairytales.

Have a think about a time when you had yourself absolutely convinced something utterly catastrophic was about to happen.

Lying awake turning over the prospect of imminent doom played out in excruciating and panic-inducing detail.  We have all done it. And then…and then…well, nothing happening. NOTHING! The sky totally did not fall in. The fan did not get hit with anything. All that worry, stress, drama and excess cortisol production for nothing.

It can be weirdly tempting to play out a worst-case scenario story as a bizarre sort of double-think mental insurance to ward off against disappointment or rejection. If we have already considered the worst then maybe…maybe… it won’t happen.

However, it’s a far easier way to live to know that whatever comes up –  if it comes up –  you are smart and capable and you will react and handle it. And so, therefore, you choose to wait until such time that might be necessary and divert your attention to happier thoughts in the meantime.

The stories we tell ourselves in our heads have the very real capacity to destroy our peace of mind with far more regularity than any outside event.

Look at it this way. What bedtime story do you read your 7-year-old son/daughter/grandson/granddaughter/nephew/niece? Is it a) Charlie And The Chocolate Factory or b) Nightmare On Elm Street?  Right. You wouldn’t dream of divulging the tales of Freddie Kruger’s bloody mayhem whilst you tuck them up as you want that child to sleep soundly, yes? (preferably right through the night uninterrupted, of course). You want to create the best conditions to do that; you know the content you fill their heads with at that pivotal moment is key – so you choose with discernment.

It’s the same at the cinema.  We know the emotional impact of a good story and so there are standard content rating systems for movies. We know how powerful those stories in the screen are so we want to choose age-appropriately and with discernment for the audience. This is obvious in the movie cinema.

We want the right story playing for whoever is watching it.

And yet, and yet. We are nowhere near as careful stewards of our own bedtime story routine. Replaying the tricky conversation with the boss whilst we clean our teeth: bad bedtime story. Thinking about whether that client is going to be furious or not as we turn down the covers: bad bedtime story. Turning over the backhanded compliment our mother in law paid and worrying about how that may play out at the weekend family barbeque: bad bedtime story. Figuring out if that friend deliberately blanked us at the school gate as we have upset them for reasons we know not: bad bedtime story. No wonder we don’t sleep well, or our days are filled with worry.

Our peace of mind is determined by the tone and content of the stories we tell ourselves through our waking hours.

And as for the stories we believe and repeat in the dead of night? They are the most powerful of all.

Make sure you choose appropriate bedtime reading for yourself.

Sweet dreams.


2020 Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In New Year Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Self Care and Self Love

Why you DON’T need a “New You” this New Year!

“Happy New Year! Happy New You!”

How many headlines will you see screaming that this month? Too many to count, I suspect – and I also suspect another level of “New You” hysteria given its the turn not just of the year – but of the decade.  It’s going to be “New You”- tastic out there!

Here is my direct take on that noise:

Contrary to a million headlines of “wisdom” – YOU DO NOT NEED A “NEW YOU”. 

The “You” you are is absolutely perfect in your imperfection. Anyone who tells you you are broken in some way is undermining your personal sovereignty. Especially anyone who tells you you are broken in order to sell something.

You are not broken! You, my darling,  are whole and complete.

Life and self-improvement is a PROCESS. A process means it’s ongoing. It doesn’t end until you do. It is never complete.

Life is always in a state of beautiful incompletion.

We are all works in progress. For the whole of our lives.

It is never “done”. It can never be done!

We will be learning and growing into an ever-expanded version of our best self, our whole life. It’s a glorious process of growth.

It’s about expansion and about improvement and inspiration.

It’s about reaching a little higher, being a little braver, asking for a little more. It’s not about fixing something that’s broken.

You are not broken and anyone who tells you you are is lying. Don’t believe them!

A New Year is simply a convenient time to dust off the cobwebs and assess where we are at with our life’s project.

Our work in progress. It’s just a milestone in the journey. A reminder to pause and reflect.

So, this year I am offering you some different kinds of New Year resolutions.

Ones that delight you rather than punish you.

Goals that draw you forward effortlessly in the energy of growth rather than beating you up in the energy of “not quite good enough”.

Principles that lift you up, rather than tear you down for not being smart, thin, fun, rich enough – or whatever.

Because you, you dear reader, are enough.

Make your resolutions something that makes your soul sing not fill you with an increasing creeping feeling of dread.

Resolve toward what makes you grow, not what you want to fix.

Resolve to laugh more in 2020
• Resolve to love more in 2020.
Resolve to smell the roses more in 2020.
• Resolve to connect more in 2020.
Resolve to speak kindly to yourself, with love and compassion, in 2020.
• Resolve to strive for progress not for perfection in 2020.
• Resolve to honour your body and soul in 2020.
• Resolve never to stop growing, learning and expanding in 2020.
Resolve to be all that you can be, the happiest version of yourself in 2020.

That’s what I wish for you. You are not broken. You never were.

Embrace the glorious mess of all that you are and the beauty this year is going to unfold at your feet.

Happy New Year.

Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Summer Summer time

Make A Summer Wish List With This Magic Ingredient

There is little more annoying than seeing your Facebook feed jammed with loads of smiling faces at an event you so tooooootally would have gone to, had you only known it was on and got your shizzle together to get tickets!

We are spoiled for choice with events and entertainment at this time of year stretching right through to March and April.

So for your Best Summer take half an hour out of your week now to do your prep, gather your ingredients for your your best summer and head FOMO off at the pass.

You spend half an hour prepping dinner each night; you can find half an hour to prep your best summer!

Think Memory Making.  At it’s very essence that is what will create our best summer. Experiences, both shared and individual.

What would make you look back and smile?

Who is integral to that?

Where is special to you?

What or who do you wish you make time for every year but don’t?

I do this with World Of Wearable Arts every damn year: I forget just how much I want to go until I actually see it all unfolding live and I’ve missed the boat…again!

Not this year: I am getting my booking in now and heading off the FOMO at the pass for 2020.

If all this talk of planning is bringing you out in hives, remember that there is a strange irony to the fact that when we invest a little time and energy upfront in planning the highlights, we ironically seem to have more time, not less, to be spontaneous and grab the opportunities that just come our way in the moment.

Structure magically creates space.

So make a Summer 2019/20 wish list this week.

Share it with the people that matter.

A little planning now not only sets you up for the best summer of shared experiences, but also allows you to luxuriate in one of the most delicious emotional states there is: anticipation.

Anticipation is an instant emotional wellbeing booster.  It allows you to feel good not just doing the thing but for weeks or months ahead you get a little rosy glow as well as some pre-match feel-good chat.

Putting more anticipation into life is an easy way to up your happiness quotient very quickly.

Best summer and feeling good now: what’s not to like about that?!

4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Love Your Work Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Summer time

5 smart tips to avoid the cray-cray Christmas Work CRUSH!

Now, there is a kiwi specific cultural phenomenon that happens for those in the workforce in December.

What happens is that every project you have ever touched or been associated with during the previous 11 months (and indeed some that you haven’t) suddenly has to ABSOLUTELY be finished by Christmas Eve, OR THE WORLD WILL END. End, I tell you.

All joking aside, it’s actually super stressful. Due to the fabulously extended January holidays we all enjoy this creates a real pressure cooker environment which can lead to a) massive overwhelm before Christmas b) utterly unrealistic expectations that can never be met c) not enough time for Chrimbo shopping or drinking egg nog with colleagues whilst wearing festive antlers.

Northern Hemisphere peeps will be back at work as usual on the 3rd of January, whilst most Kiwi’s will be drinking cold ones for another 4 weeks, so clearly – we win! No one would want to give up their January. BUT – can we reach it without descending into Xmas Madness?

Here are a few tips you can put into place today:

1. Get really clear, really really clear, that the working world will not in fact end at midday on the 24th December. Do not buy into the madness.

2. Set some expectations NOW. Get ahead of the game whether by a team meeting, or email or whatever. Set some expectations NOW on what you can deliver by when. Communicate with staff / customers / clients / suppliers / colleagues and so on expectation and timelines. Be confident and set your boundaries on what is realistic.

3. Beware the hospital pass. Veeeery common at this time of year is the colleague whistling in a project and making it your problem, when in fact they have sat on it procrastinating since June. Boundaries are required here, people. Don’t let your December get pulled into the madness because someone else has been fluffing about for the last 6 months. Use your “no” judiciously but firmly.

4. Accept some stuff will just not get done before Christmas. This is okay because a) the world will not end (see point 1), and b) it means you have a job to come back to.

5. Make time for some fun. The seriousness of the Xmas Madness can suck the joy out of a normally happy workplace as everyone feels so under the gun with this end of year deadline. Remember that this is the season of goodwill unto all men, and make sure you allow enough space for laughs and thank you’s and celebrations too.

We are still far enough away that you can do some really effective (read: ruthless!) scheduling and expectation management now.

Head off the Xmas Madness at the pass, don’t make it an inevitable part of your working December.

After all you’ve got eggnog and festive antlers to attend to.

Emotional Honesty Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Resilience

Feeling Behind Before You Even Begin

Now – do you start the day almost feeling behind before it even begins? In a panic about getting done all the things you need to get done that day? If so, you are so not alone.

Feeling harried and under the gun first thing is very common and highly detrimental, both emotionally (feeling stressed), and physiologically (by flooding your body with stress hormones before you have even cleaned your teeth). Feeling behind before you even begin sets the tone for a stressed out day to follow.

Obviously there is the “I don’t have enough time” thing, but – if you are a regular Wellbeing Wednesday reader (thank you!), you will know you actually already have all the time you need: you just have to better prioritise what you choose to do with it.

So – let’s be practical. If you are feeling stressed and under time pressure in the morning you actually two options:

  1. Get up earlier / press snooze less / go to bed earlier


  1. Streamline the morning. Either make something more efficient or, don’t do it at all and stop feeling like you ”should”.

Most people I work with are generally operating from a sleep deficit position as it is, which makes the option 1 even less palatable, putting option 2 way out in front. If you are currently feeling like you “don’t have enough time” in the morning what would you like to deliberately choose today so you can start your day with more focus and calm tomorrow?

Where can you be more efficient?

Set out your gym kit the night before?

Leave your yoga mat in the car?

Buy a stash of protein bars so there is always one to grab on the way out?

Or what can you decide, on reflection, just isn’t adding enough value to your morning to justify the time stressor it creates?

Maybe you can delegate it (“I’d like you to stack the dishwasher before you leave please; you are 45 / 17 years of age: does that seem reasonable to you?”) or just not do it at all?

Perhaps that routine morning walk with the neighbour or rushed dinner prep actually creates more stress than relieving it?

What can you adjust in the mornings as a permanent way of making you feel you have just a little more time and breathing space?

What could you deliberately choose today so you can start your day with a little more focus and calm tomorrow?


Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress

Define Your Choices

We are lucky, lucky people. Lucky!

We live in a time and location of almost infinite abundance and choice. We have more choices at our disposal than any generation that came before us. We have the sum of all human knowledge accessible 24/7 in the palm of our hands. We live in the age of not just unlimited information, but of unlimited choice. It’s a great time to be on planet Earth.

Our choices define us. Who we are. The life we lead. The future that’s coming for us.

Our choices lay bare our priorities and our principles. Even when we think we have no choice we always have a choice. The only thing we HAVE to do is breathe, everything after that is a choice. Annoying, but true.

Our choices reveal our true priorities. Not what we say our priorities are – but what they REALLY are. Other people’s choices say the same about them – they are a literal demonstration of true priority in action.

We think we are not choosing when we are.

The truth of life is that in every moment that we say YES to one thing, we are saying NO to something else.

  • We say yes to being kind and patient to the supermarket checkout person and no to being irritable and rushed.
  • We say yes to Netflix and couch time and no to a walk before dinner.
  • We say yes to one form of income and no to another.
  • We say yes to letting someone go before us in the traffic and no to closing the gap and making them wait.
  • Or we say yes to playing with the kids and no to playing with our phone.

Life can sometimes get off course when we forget that every single moment we absolutely have a choice.

What and who are you saying yes to? What and who are you saying no to?

A million tiny sovereign choices, every hour, day, week are what comprise our life.

Your choices define you. Choose well.


Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Self Care and Self Love

Baby, it’s cold outside: 5 totally unusual tips to move that mood! #2

It’s less sunny in the winter (duh!) which has all sorts of impact on our delicately balanced circadian and ultradian biorhythms that govern our body’s performance and moods.

Despite the very real impact of the seasons on our physiology, life does not stop – we are to continue our commitments and obligations with no adjustment. Our internal rhythms may change quite significantly yet we expect – of others and ourselves – to continue with the demands of life as if nothing is any different.

One of the biggies here is the amount of sunlight we get. Sunlight is very important: it is a significant provider of Vitamin D in our bodies, as well as being involved in the regulation of serotonin (our happy hormone) and melatonin (our sleep regulating hormone). Getting enough sunlight is crucial to our mood and sleep levels. If you think you might be suffering from a case of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) you should get yourself to your GP. A continually super low mood in winter can require medical intervention.

Feeling a bit blue in the winter is a definite sign to try and get a bit more blue sky in your day.

The obvious choice is, if you can work your day around it, to try and get a walk in at lunchtime. Go grab your sushi from the place four blocks away rather than downstairs so you can get in your 15 minutes of sun rays. Other options include checking out light boxes, lamps and alarm clocks that wake you with simulated natural sunlight, there are some excellent ones on the market.

My preferred option for a sunshine injection however, is obviously to get on a plane and head for the sun if time and budget allow and get in a winter sunshine break. For health reasons!

What more excuse do you need?! Get that bikini packed. You’re welcome.

Need to read Tip One? Click here.



Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Relationships Self Care and Self Love

How to give YOURSELF a Time Out

Much is made (by wellbeingey, feelgoodery people like me!) of “Being Present”. That we will all be healthier and happier if we are more connected to “the now” and present with who and what we are doing, when we are actually doing it. True Dat.

There is however another equally important, yet far less discussed perspective to the “Be Present” position.

I also think it’s important to  know:

It’s TOTALLY okay not to be “on” 24/7 and engaged in every single convo going on around you.

It’s TOTALLY okay to have an enjoyable, meandering, noodle on Instagram on your phone.

It’s TOTALLY okay not to listen to every single word someone wants to share with you.


If you can be present, and you choose to be present: BE ALL THERE.

If you don’t have the capacity, the time, the attention, the mind space: LET THEM KNOW.


It’s yours. You can do that. It belongs to you.

Be clear. Be unambiguous.

Say “I can see you have something on your mind you want to share but I just cannot give you my full attention right now. Can we talk properly over dinner?”


“Hon, I adore you, I’ve loved chatting with you over coffee – but I just need to check my email. I’d like to take 10 minutes and then resume the chats! – is that cool with you?”


Turn your phone on silent, go lay on the bed, and play on Instagram to your heart’s content with no one else expecting anything from you in that moment. Immerse yourself and enjoy.

If you are not going to be present (which is fine, no one can be all the time) OWN YOUR ABSENCE with clarity and intent.


If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

Don't forget!...

Grab your printable
worth $27… for free!

This 23-page
is for constructive,
guided reflection
so you come out of
tricky times stronger
than you went in!
My gift to you.

Worth $27