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2023 Happiness Resilience Self belief Self Care Sunday

You can write yourself a new ending, starting today.

Here’s an interesting wee factlette for you this morning: I see more clients coming for life coaching to make transformative change at the ages of 29, 39, 49 and 59, than all the other years put together. There is something super powerful about that change in decade of our age which naturally gives us pause. We take stock at this turning of the chapter, a whole new decade, and reflect in a way we don’t seem to as much in the in-between years.

 

When a whole new decade is bearing down on us we seem far more likely to ask ourselves if our life is all that it “should be” by this stage. Are we hitting the milestones we had always privately set for ourselves at this marker? Life can be thrown into sharp relief by contemporaries around us ticking past the same clock and the same milestones.

 

 

A change of decade can be the most incredible kick up the pahootie to refocus and get serious about what we want to achieve in the next decade, harnessing that natural motivation can be all powerful. But I also see it as a time where more regret will also surface as a result of the reflection. Of milestones not met or exceeded, statuses not reached. The trick here is not to get sucked into a whirlpool of regret, but to take any relevant lessons and use them to push forwards once again. To not look sorrowfully at the time that has been “lost” but focus all that is to come. To take it as a clean fresh page and begin again. Start anew. Double down. Make it happen.

 

The quote attributed to C. S. Lewis says it best “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”.

 

We have the power to write ourselves a new ending any time we choose. We can do it whenever we take the time to reflect and refocus: not just when the year reads “9”, or a day of the week starts with an M. That no matter what is past, we get to say how our story will end. Starting now.  You can write yourself a new ending, starting today.

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2023 Happiness Positive Thought Strategy

1 rule to be really successful at anything.

A question for you: How does anyone get to be really good at anything?

Look at the people you admire in any given field. Not necessarily famous people, or awards winners or whatever – just successful people. How do they get to be so successful? What’s the common theme that connects them? The winning golfer and the Always Onto It Mum, the high flying medic and the leading lady?

It’s very simple.

They focus on Their Own Stuff.

Which bit of your life are you doing really well in?

Guaranteed that’s the area where you are focussing hardest on Your Own Stuff. Happy marriage? Bet you are focused on regular loving communication, and date nights or whatever works for you.

Fit, strong body? Sure as eggs are eggs, you are focused on eating well most of the time, getting organised to put healthy meals together, and make exercise a regular thing. Focused on Your Own Stuff.

Beautiful immaculate home? I can guarantee you make time to organise the plumber to fix the leak pronto. You clean or get it cleaned every week. You fix up little maintenance issues as they arise. All. Your. Own. Stuff.

Where things have gone off the rails a bit is we are tending to spend too much time focused Not On Our Stuff. If the bod isn’t rocking we are likely continually prioritising other peoples needs and wants before the desperate whispers of our body.

If our business isn’t thriving in the way we know it could we are likely spending too much time on Facebook looking at other businesses banging on about how marvellously they are doing and thinking how our marketing doesn’t live up to theirs. Not Our Stuff.

Career not really flying like it should? Highly likely we have been too shy in stepping up or speaking up for fear of what others might think about us. Again: Not Our Stuff.

What is our stuff is what we can influence today?

Our stuff is figuring out the teeny-tiny actions and choices we can make that bring a bit more ease, flow and joy into each moment.

Our stuff is speaking up for ourselves.

Our stuff is prioritising our time and choices.

Our stuff is knowing we are not responsible for other people’s reactions.

Our stuff is taking a chance on our dreams.

Getting more focused on Your Own Stuff turns stuff around super quickly.

Good questions to get refocused on your own stuff are:

  1. This thing that’s winding me up / stressing me out – is this in fact my stuff. Or not? If it’s not your stuff – put it down!
  2. This thing that’s important to me that’s not going as well as I’d like – how can I focus on this more or differently in order to move it towards where I want it to go?
  3. If I weren’t worried about what anyone else thought of me/this what would I do? (N.B. What others think about you is THEIR stuff, not yours).
  4. Is there a “should” involved here? If there is it’s usually a big fat clue the issue in question is coming from someone else’s agenda not yours. ​​​​​​​Not. Your. Stuff.

Basic maths means that there are only 24 hours in the day, 525 600 minutes in a year. You get to say what quality of energy you bring to each of them. The reality is when we have our focus split across too many things, and too much stuff that isn’t ours we don’t get the success we seek in the areas that are truly important to us.

Number one tip to be successful at anything?

Focus. On. Your. Own. Stuff.

Categories
2023 Energy Boosters Happiness Self Care Sunday

This. Is. Real. Self. Care

My whole damn week went TOTALLY sideways this week, and I suspect I am not the only one. If you are in the same boat this Sunday I want you to know: YOU ARE DOING BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!

​​​​​​​

Your brain defaults to seeing “The Gap” of where you want to be…the chores undone, the emails not replied to, the yoga class not made, the story not read, the kitchen bench not decluttered…you know, The Gap between YOU and Superwoman who is “on top of everything”.

 

This default perspective is unhelpful. Makes us feel bad. We need to consciously direct our brain to “The Gain” instead. The sore knee kissed better. The midday meeting that got an outcome. The lunch boxes were packed. The kindly Good Morning to the elderly neighbour. The bins put out. The swift lunchtime walk. The dentist appointment booked. The twenty six emails that DID get replied to.

 

Look. Life is LIFE. It will NEVER be complete til we are.

 

There will ALWAYS be stuff that’s UNDONE.

 

You can’t use DONE-NESS as your measure of how good your day was.

 

Train your brain to see not The Gap, but The Gain.

 

I promise you: you are doing better than you are judging yourself for.

 

Remove the unattainable yardstick of “done”, you will never reach it anyway.

 

Redirect your attention, and your COMPASSION to give your sweet self a break: I promise you, you are doing better than you think you are.

 

This. Is. Real. Self. Care. #thisisrealselfcare

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2023 Happiness Self belief Self Care Sunday

When “its complicated”

This week, an important perspective to consider in order to keep your mental health high, in these times when people will flake out on you at the drop of a text:

 

No-one is really EVER “too busy” for you.

 

If it’s truly important to them – THEY WILL FIND A WAY.

 

The truth of the matter is:

 

Something or someone else is more important. So, it’s being prioritised. Over you.

 

We say “it’s complicated” but… it’s not.

 

We excuse it under “he/she has got a lot on”

 

But the truth is that they care about something else MORE.

 

It’s literally that simple.

 

Please stop torturing yourself and making excuses for why that date / old friend / colleague keeps flaking on you.

 

They are just not that bothered is all.

 

Go pour your beautiful energy where it’s needed, valued and appreciated.

Categories
2023 Happiness

Don’t call it too early

What do these things have in common?

 

The client who is distraught at the collapse of her marriage after finding her husband of 4 years had been cheating for 3, sure she would be a single mother forever and ever, and her life was over. O.V.E.R. A short time later, serendipitously meeting an old school friend, getting together, as an eager co-parent, and happier than ever before. “It was all worth it to be as happy as I am now, I’d never have found out how great things could be if I hadn’t gone through that”.

 

The client who was sure that the eleventy-billionth restructure at the corporate she had devoted the last 12 years of her working life to would end in redundancy. Which it did. Handily just before Christmas. “The market is so tight I’ll never find anything and Big Restructure Corp is all I know…this is a DISASTER”. She is already happy as a clam in a new role, in a medium-sized company with a whole different perspective on people management and culture – she is relaxed, sleeping well, and loving her work in a way she had forgotten she ever could. “Best thing everrrrrrr!” she laughs.

 

The old family friend who got royally blindsided by his business partner embezzling the company funds behind his back. A young family of 4 to support he never saw it coming. Total financial destruction. Overnight. “I had no choice, I just had to go and do this job that I honestly thought was beneath me. I would never have done that work before”. Turned out that the owners loved what he did so much they offered to fund a whole new business partnership that he ended up selling down the line for millions.

 

I could list dozens of these, and let’s be honest – you can too. A slew of personal anecdotes exist of someone “failing” cataclysmically, only to later snatch a much more prized victory from the jaws of defeat. What they “failed at” and left behind later becoming something they wouldn’t even want for themselves anymore. That what awaited on the other side of that failure was something so much shiner, a much bigger success they could ever have imagined for themselves.

 

The lesson in these common tales is that we tend to take score way too early. That if you are in the grip of what seems like an unmitigated failure right now, to see that perhaps…just perhaps…it’s a foundation leading you to something way superior. You just can’t see it yet. Perhaps it’s not a failure at all. Perhaps there was something you needed to learn there. Something you needed to let go of, in an albeit brutal fashion, in order to make way for something that will serve you better in the future.

 

Consider the possibility that it’s not a failure at all. Maybe it’s just incomplete success in disguise. Doesn’t that feel better? Whether it’s in the career area, or the money area, or the relationship space, or the owning your own home space or the health and fitness place – whatever it may be for you – maybe you are not in a place of failure at all. You are just in the transition phase of incomplete success.

 

So hold fast. Don’t call it too soon. The fat lady hasn’t even started warming up yet.

 

P.S. Want to change your life today? Join the Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy here…the gold standard in looking after your own mental health and physical wellbeing. You will never look back.

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2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Happiness Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Change The Game ✨⁠

This random quote I came across nails everything I believe about wellbeing, and inspired me to offer you a lovely freebie too (link is at the end to grab it, just read on!)

 

Physical wellbeing is *obviously* really important.⁠

But it is often given far higher importance than our emotional, mental and spiritual health and wellbeing.⁠

The interesting thing is that when we attend to our mental, emotional and spiritual health we start to feel comfortable in our own skin in a way we may never have done: and that becomes the foundation for almost effortless physical health choices.⁠

Those diets that stop, start, stop, start: you just start to eat healthy ongoing because you want to.⁠ It stops being hard, and becomes the obvious choice.⁠ Do the deep work and see it click into place.

That exercise habit wagon you have fallen on and off time and time again? You don’t need another 30-Day miracle boot camp promising you the world or a gym membership that lapses and you feel guilty about; you need to attend to your boundaries, learn why you self-sabotage and exactly how to stop it and, guess what…then you’ll exercise regularly because you want to, because it’s just what you do. No fuss. No struggle.⁠ Do the deep work and see it click into place. 

That crazy lack of rest and downtime, running on empty and lack of balance? Do the deep work and watch that fall into place without you trying. Start honouring your mind and body with appropriate self-care without force or guilt.⁠

If you are O.V.E.R. doing the same thing, listening to the same old promises, falling on and off the same ole wagon with the same ole excuses…⁠

Do. Something. Different.⁠

Learn how to take care of your wellbeing – emotional, mental and spiritual FIRST – and watch your physical wellbeing fall into place.⁠

Do. Something. Different. For. You.⁠

 

Do the deep work and see it click into place.

Something that the woman in the mirror will thank you for.⁠

You want change?⁠

You want to look different?⁠

Feel different?⁠

 

Then do different.

 

Do the deep work.

Change. The. Game.

 

PS. Want to do a little deep work: here is a LOVELY FREEBIE from me to you, and it’s the PERFECT TIME OF YEAR TO DO IT. Download my 7-Step Life Review Workbook here, grab a cuppa and a pen and dive in. Insight into what makes you tick awaits. For you. For fuh-ree. With my love!

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2022 Happiness Love your body Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

So simple, but she blew my mind with this statement…

Last week I met a friend of a friend who is eight-and-a-half months pregnant and radiant. She eats well, exercises regularly, makes self-care a priority and the results showed. And that’s no mean feat when she also has two under 5 to cope with.

 

Complimenting her on this rosy glow she said something so simple yet so extraordinary that it really struck me. She said “Well, I like to take care of myself”. It wasn’t “because I’m pregnant I need to take care of myself”, or “I should have the drink green smoothie” type of thing. It was a simple statement of fact, completely free from the obligation usually associated with diet and exercise. “I like to take care of myself”.

 

It was a statement that came with no force, no “have to” no “should”. She likes to, so she does.

 

Many of us find making time to eat well and exercise regularly a hassle.

 

There is never enough time and it’s forever on the to-do list and I think that is because we don’t think what she thinks. We think “I should take care of myself” or “I need to take care of myself”.

 

The energy of these statements is quite different, one is an obligation, or a chore. “I like to take care of myself” however sounds like a very pleasurable hobby, with a pleasurable hobby kind of positive energy, an easy thing to do because it’s so inherently likeable.

 

“I should take better care of myself” = a PUSH, a push of motivation and willpower to do “the right thing”.

 

“I like to take care of myself” = an inspirational PULL towards doing the right thing, with clean open energy because of its inherent likeability.

 

True fact: Being pulled to do something we like is easier, more pleasurable and more sustainable than being pushed by willpower to do something we don’t really like.

 

So, I started to make a list of things I like – travelling, spending time with my partner, shopping for shoes, boxing, that feeling I get at the end of a good yoga class and so on.

 

All those things are no effort for me and making steps towards them is a pleasure, not a chore. Researching the next travel destination, booking the tickets, packing – it’s a magical pull towards what I love. I actually get this rush I call “airport joy”; that moment when the bags have been checked, the voicemail message changed and everything is done. A new adventure awaits and all there is to do is to sit with a good book and wait for it to unfold.

 

Yes, I love that. Airport Joy. And I think it’s the same for having a fit healthy body. If we can tap into that feeling of what we like, what naturally draws us forward then it ceases to be a chore, or a “should” and transforms into a pleasurable hobby.

 

Make a list of things that you like ... the beach, the bed, a good book, crochet, hang gliding. Start identifying what you like. Notice the change in energy. Tap into that pull forward. Then see if you can extend that to the simple but powerful belief “I like to look after myself” and see how many positive choices flow from that foundation.

 

Buddha said “With our thoughts we make the world”. And so it is with our thoughts we make our body.

 

“I like to take care of myself” is a pretty damn good place to start. Pull, don’t push, towards the vitality you want.

 

PS. If you like to look after yourself, let me give you 101 ideas of how you can do that today…in a gorgeous tickable format, you can dip in and out of…one tick each day!

Click here and it’s on its way.

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2022 Happiness Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

It’s controversial but I think it’s 100% true

Much is made (by wellbeingey, feelgoodery people like me!) of “Being Present”. That we will all be healthier and happier if we are more connected to “the now” and present with who and what we are doing, when we are actually doing it.

 

There is however another equally important, yet far less discussed perspective to the “Be Present” position.

 

I also think it’s important to know:

 

*It’s TOTALLY okay not to be “on” 24/7 and engaged in every single convo going on around you.

 

* It’s TOTALLY okay to have an enjoyable, meandering, noodle on Instagram on your phone.

 

* It’s TOTALLY okay not to listen to every single word someone wants to share with you.

 

AS LONG AS YOU OWN YOUR ABSENCE.

 

If you can be present, and you choose to be present: BE ALL THERE.

 

If you don’t have the capacity, the time, the attention, or the mind space: LET THEM KNOW.

 

OWN YOUR ABSENCE.

 

It’s yours. You can do that. It belongs to you.

 

Be clear. Be unambiguous.

 

Say “I can see you have something on your mind you want to share but I just cannot give you my full attention right now. Can we talk properly over dinner?”

 

or

 

“Hon, I adore you, I’ve loved chatting with you over coffee – but I just need to check my email. I’d like to take 10 minutes and then resume the chats! – is that cool with you?”

 

or

 

Turn your phone on silent, go lay on the bed, and play on Instagram to your heart’s content with no one else expecting anything from you in that moment. Immerse yourself and enjoy.

 

If you are not going to be present (which is fine, no one can be all the time) OWN YOUR ABSENCE with clarity and intent.

 

Make sense? What a relief, eh? No-one can be present all the time, let’s stop beating ourselves up for it.

 

PS. Want a book that will change your life? Of course you do.

It’s here.

It’s beautiful.

Original.

Satisfyingly tickable

Make it yours ✅

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2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Happiness Self Care and Self Love

Why the cost of the Coaching Academy is going up in August

Earlier this week, I announced I’m significantly increasing the price of Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy after July 2022.

It’s been amazing getting so much feedback saying I should have done this years ago, and with the value you get in the Academy, it is still undercharging!

Today I want to explain to you why it’s important that I make this change, and make it now. 

We launched the Academy in 2015 (2015!) and made a commitment to each and every one of you that you would remain grandfathered at the rate you joined at, no matter the market rate. I believe so much in every woman having access to effective mental health and physical health support that I wanted to make the highest quality coaching service available at prices accessible to as many women as possible. 

(Just as a side note, my 1-2-1 services start at $5,000 and have a year’s waitlist. I wanted to offer effective coaching that was available instantly and for those who can’t afford the bespoke approach. In that context, a YEAR in the Academy for just $379 is an unbelievable steal.)

The last price increase was many years ago, and I absolutely honour every single grandfathered member rate, and look after those loyal members so well!

Here’s the thing though… in the last 7 years… you know this, I have held the PRICE, but I cannot hold the COST. In that time, the following costs have increased, and to a point where they can no longer be absorbed or subsidised:

  • Support elves (they don’t get paid in magic beans!)
  • Web elves
  • Advertising
  • Design Services
  • Image supply
  • Payment Gateway services and processing fees
  • Website hosting
  • Website continual improvements
  • Video production
  • Audio production
  • Accountancy fees
  • Bookkeeping fees
  • Software Subscriptions
  • Ongoing Training for staff and myself
  • Insurance and Tax Levies

This (and a lot more!) is what it takes to run a high-quality, global, hugely elegant and effective Coaching Academy, and over the last 7 years it’s all MORE, and therefore, the price will be moving to $997 for an annual membership. 

I will NOT COMPROMISE on the quality of service, either technically, or myself and the elves, that we deliver to our amazing members every month, so that is why we need to raise the $379 for TWELVE MONTHS of wellbeing support. 

So, I do not want you to think this decision has been taken lightly: it hasn’t, and in truth I should have done it YEARS ago. 

That’s why I wanted to give you the last opportunity to be GRANDFATHERED at the OLD rate BEFORE the completely necessary price rise comes into effect. 

If you value your wellbeing (which I know you do, or you would not be reading my work ever!) I hope you will consider why your wellbeing is worth investing in today.

Let me just start by saying there are many, many reasons you should proactively support your wellbeing. Too many reasons to mention. 

I’ll boil it down to the fact that Wellbeing Warrior members like to do things a bit differently. 

  1. They take responsibility for their wellbeing. They know no-one else can really impact it but them. They know wellbeing is a marathon not a sprint, so a programme that quietly but steadily supports them in the background is a better fit than a shiny “get flat abs in 6 days!!!” type instant “fit” thing. 
  2. They know real health is real health, and without it we have very little of value. Investing now in a small daily action reaps HUGE benefits over the long term. 
  3. They know they could do it alone, but in reality, they won’t. So having a compassionate, supportive structure that CONTAINS their personal growth and health work in an elegant way is JUST EASIER. It gets it done.

So for those reasons — and many more — I’d love you to consider joining the Wellbeing Warriors Academy. 

I don’t compromise on the quality we deliver in the WW Academy, and I don’t want YOU to compromise on the way you support your mental and physical health. 

If you’ve been wanting to support your mental and physical health in a joyful, practical way — and if you’ve been thinking about JOINING THE WW ACADEMY— I’d love you to do just that before the end of July 2022. 

If you join now, your WW membership will be “grandfathered” at the CURRENT rate ($379) for as long as you are an active member, and so you’ll be getting in at the best possible price.

So, if you’ve been thinking about supporting your mental and physical health in a practical system that works (rather than just wishing for different!) — now’s a great time to move forward.

Is NOW the time for you? I do hope so.

You can obviously join WW at a later time, but you’ll have to pay the new premium price. Get all of the details here ?

CLICK HERE TO BEAT THE PRICE RISE

CLICK HERE TO WATCH TESTIMONIALS FROM OUR MEMBERS

Not investing in my wellbeing cost me over $100k…

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2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Happiness Self Care and Self Love

How this busy Mum ditched the sugar and the drama… and GREW in confidence!

I want to share a story to illustrate how most women are sabotaging themselves with their approach to wellbeing.

Basically, creating the (super demoralising) boom-bust cycle of on and off the wagon with themselves, costing not just their progress but their sanity too!

Hopefully, this story will stop some people from doing the same! Because the question I really want you to keep in mind as you read this is…

“What would it be like if I stopped starting over?”

So, the heroine of today’s story is Marina.

Marina is a fabulous member in Wellbeing Warriors.

And it took Marina a looooong time to become a member!

I’m going to illustrate Marina’s journey for you so you “get it.”

Check out the image below ?

It represents Marina’s progress with the healthy habits she REALLY wanted to establish that would enhance her life the most… basically these were ditching sugar (and a few kilos whilst she was at it!), reducing alcohol, exercising 3x a week, and not losing her sh*t with her teenage sons on the regular. Learning how to meditate and reduce stress would also be a bonus, because work was high pressure. 

These didn’t seem like too much to ask from life, but as a busy working Mum it seemed to be an impossible task to keep all the plates spinning at the same time. 

If she ditched sugar she would get grumpy and be more irritable with the kids after a long day. 

If the weight started to come off, that would feel GREAT SUPER AMAZING for a few weeks, then life would throw a curveball like a new project at work and all that progress would just…poof!…evaporate and she would be back to square one. 

If she started exercising more she would feel great, but also, feel like she deserved a “treat” so somehow would weirdly start having more food treats and cheeky wines than before. 

She just couldn’t get all these habits to ALIGN. And, it was weirdly EXPENSIVE having them not line up. 

  • There were the shoes she bought herself because “you can never get too fat for your shoes can you?” purchase to make her feel better ($175).
  • The expensive haircuts she was getting to compensate for not feeling great in her clothes ($150 a go). 
  • The gym membership she only used sporadically ($40 a month) and KNEW she wasn’t getting the value from. 
  • The wine o’clock she was buying to relax because she was worried and stressed about things and it really was the only guaranteed way to switch off and unwind ($15 a bottle).
  • The “I’ve blown it I might as well” brunches ($30) and the “f*ck it” i might as well pizza ($20).

All these things that made her feel okay IN THE MOMENT, but really were ways to compensate from not being able to effectively reduce her mental stress and keep her wellbeing habits on track. 

You can see how stressful that is, and perhaps can relate to her somewhat too. I know I can.

When, in a moment of just wanting to do something, ANYTHING, different, Marina joined the Wellbeing Warriors Academy, she wasn’t sure what she was in for. She just wanted to get off this BOOM BUST cycle she had going. 

She took a few weeks just to suss out the vibe and the flow in the Academy and then dived right on it to taking action.

Small, but consistent action. 

She started with the Live module that month that was the “Imposter Syndrome” module… did the 2 minute daily challenge and practiced the tool that meant that her confidence in herself started to gently, subtly rise each day, so slowly she almost couldn’t notice it… but on Day 30 of the month when she looked back she couldn’t believe how far she had come. 

This gave her just the boost she needed to keep going. The next module she really connected with was “Saving The Craving” and she had a huge breakthrough in terms of taking the focus off her weight and onto a 30-Day challenge to remove sugar and flour from her diet to see how her mood and physiology felt without that sugar high. The change blew her away and because she was doing it with hundreds of other women round the world,  it just felt so much easier to be carried away in the energy of the group. She did ALL 30 days! Couldn’t believe she had stuck to it! Felt so much more energised, was sleeping better, way less moody, her skin looked years younger. Oh. Dropped 4.5kgs too

Marina was already feeling like a new woman and took the next month’s module “Better Boundaries”, where she understood exactly what boundaries were, and how to apply them in her own life for what was really the first time. They went from being an abstract concept that everyone talks about to being something really practical she could apply. She used the 5 Step Better Boundary technique with her teens and was AHHHHMAZED at the difference in her household. Made things easier at work too. Just one conversation, had in the right way, so much drama gone. 

And on to the next module…! Marina couldn’t wait for what I had in store the next month…

That’s the thing, I think, with wellbeing. Sometimes we don’t know what we REALLY NEED, we just know what we are doing isn’t working. We need a NEW approach, new tools, new accountability and support. 

Do you have a gameplan for how to switch up what you are doing? If you don’t — please consider joining the Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy. 

The time to do it is definitely right NOW as you will beat the price MORE THAN DOUBLING from $397 to $997?.

CLICK HERE TO BEAT THE PRICE RISE

Come on in! You cannot imagine where you will be in your mind and body a year from now!

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