Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Good Enough Live Happy Inspiration

Do You Ever Secretly Feel “Not Good Enough”?

The secret to making 2021 count.

There are as many dreams of a different, more fulfilling life than there is tea in China. Each dream as unique as the person. However, the underlying reason why we don’t step up and move towards our dreams is usually the same.

Do any of these ring a bell with you?

• The middle manager who really wants to be a nutritionist but is scared it won’t work out and they can’t make money
The gorgeous girl who has been unlucky in love and is reluctant to get into online dating, or, who does it, but then cancels the dates at the last minute.
• The busy mum who wants to get fit but can’t get a consistent exercise programme going
The new lawyer who graduated with a hard-won degree but it absolutely loathes dragging themselves into the law office each day. They slap on a brave game face and get on with it despite the misery.
• The Dad who loves his family but hates his job, but can’t leave because he is the breadwinner.
The girl who wants to travel and do the OE but has no one to go with so doesn’t book it and never goes.
• The girl who does the part-time training in massage and wants to make a full time living out of it, but is too scared to make the leap.
The spouse who is desperately unhappy but can’t have the conversation to either improve or leave the marriage.

It’s so easy for us to “get by”, day after day. Not truly connected with what makes us happy and fulfilling our life’s purpose. And then the next day, and the next day after that. And before we know it years have gone by in the “it’s okay” zone, but the amount of time we feel truly connected, alive and at peace is next to nothing.

Why?

The number one reason I see people holding themselves back is a fear that on some level they won’t be “good enough”.

• Not good enough to make a new business in the wellbeing field make enough money and be successful enough to support a good lifestyle
Not good enough to trust that there is a loving and respectful partner out there who will make her soul sing. Not good enough to be loved completely and be loved in return.
• Not good enough to put herself and the needs of her body first sometimes, that doing that will mean she is a not good enough mum, that she is selfish.
Not good enough to pack in the shiny yet unfulfilling career path and do something that the family might not approve of. Not good enough to stand up to the inevitable familial pressure.
• Not good enough to make the break and create a career change that is bold yet pragmatic. Not good enough to make the leap.
Not good enough to make friends along the trail. What if people don’t like me? What if I never meet anyone?
• Not good enough to do the non-traditional thing. That’s for other people, the brave ones who are good enough. More talented. More special.
Not good enough to make a stand and stick to it. Not good enough to live my own and make an independent life. I’ll never make it work.

Not good enough is a universal fear. It’s also a universal lie. And believing it keeps us playing small in the world. It dashes countless hopes and dreams. It’s an all-pervasive, silent assassin of living our life’s purpose.

When you look around at people who are living their life’s mission, what do you see? You see that they do feel good enough to give it a go. To back themselves. To trust that when they are honouring the messages of their soul that things will work out. That they have the courage, resilience, and passion to overcome any obstacle.

People who are living their life’s purpose don’t wait to feel good enough to make it happen. They know that that feeling comes from the action of leaping towards their passion.

Because – here’s the secret they are in on:

You are ALREADY good enough.

Why? Because “Good Enough” is an impossible standard to define. When you think about it, what does it even MEAN? Define for me someone who is good enough? Hard right? We are all imperfectly imperfect. No-one, and everyone, is already good enough.

If we wait to feel good enough on some level before summoning the courage to live the life we know we are meant to live, we will be waiting a very long time. We have to take action before we feel good enough, in the knowledge that the truth is we are already more than good enough to handle whatever comes up.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is proceeding with your soul’s calling DESPITE the fear.

You are ALREADY good enough.

You can do this. Make 2021 count.

 

Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Live Happy Inspiration

Incomplete Success

What do these things have in common?

The client distraught at the collapse of her marriage after finding her husband of 4 years had been cheating for 3, sure she would be a single mother forever and ever, and her life was over. O.V.E.R. A short time later serendipitously meeting an old school friend, getting together, he as an eager co-parent, and happier than ever before. “It was all worth it to be as happy as I am now, I’d never have found out how great things could be if I hadn’t gone through that”.

The client who was sure that the eleventy-billionth restructure at the corporate she had devoted the last 12 years of her working life to would end in redundancy. Which it did. Handily just before Christmas. “The market is so tight I’ll never find anything and Big Restructure Corp is all I know…this is a DISASTER”. She is already happy as a clam in a new role, in a medium-sized company with a whole different perspective on people management and culture – she is relaxed, sleeping well, and loving her work in a way she had forgotten she ever could. “Best thing everrrrrrr!” she laughs.

The old family friend who got royally blindsided by his business partner embezzling the company funds behind his back. A young family of 4 to support he never saw it coming. Total financial destruction. Overnight. “I had no choice I just had to go and do this job that I honestly thought was beneath me. I would never have done that work before”. Turned out that the owners loved what he did so much they offered to fund a whole new business partnership that he ended up selling down the line for millions.

I could list dozens of these, and let’s be honest – you can too. A slew of personal anecdotes exist of someone “failing” cataclysmically, only to later snatch a much more prized victory from the jaws of defeat. What they “failed at” and left behind later becoming something they wouldn’t even want for themselves anymore. That what awaited on the other side of that failure was something so much shiner, a much bigger success they could ever have imagined for themselves.

The lesson in these common tales is that we tend to take score too way early. That if you are in the grip of what seems like an unmitigated failure right now, to see that perhaps…just perhaps…it’s a foundation leading you to something way superior. You just can’t see it yet. Perhaps it’s not failure at all. Perhaps there was something you needed to learn there. Something you needed to let go of, in an albeit brutal fashion, in order to make way for something that will serve you better in the future.

Consider the possibility that failure is not failure at all. Maybe it’s just incomplete success in disguise. Doesn’t that feel better? Whether it’s in the career area, or the money area, or the relationship space, or the owing your own home space or the health and fitness place – whatever it may be for you – maybe you are not experiencing failure at all. You are just in the slightly messy transition phase of incomplete success. That’s all it is.

Incomplete success.

So hold fast. Don’t call it too soon. You can’t hear singing. The fat lady hasn’t even started warming up yet.

 

Categories
2021 Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Set your BEST goals: 12 questions to do it RIGHT + FREE PRINTABLE!

Want to know why many goals fail? I’ll tell you why. Because they are not the right goals.

They are goals that have been slapped together in haste as a New Year’s Resolution or because they are The Expected Thing You Should Want and they will often fail because you simply don’t have the real motivational juice to take you through to the finishing line. In the case of the goals of expectation of others, the only thing worse than not achieving your goal IS achieving it.

So, how to set your goals on a firmer footing? Let’s them percolate for a moment in the form of wishes – let what YOU REALLY desire, (that’s YOU, not your mamma/gramps/boss/spouse/etc) simmer to the surface.

When you set that goal, you want to know it’s 110% the direction that’s RIGHT for you – so you WILL find the commitment required to make it happen.

So – spend a little time in the Wish Creation Department today. Allow yourself the time to explore, play, and create without the pressure of deadlines and tasks. Pause momentarily in the stage of kicking ideas around to see what feels right for you.

This is all about tapping into your imagination, creativity, and the voice of your inner self before you go hard out on the doing. You want to be doing the RIGHT things in the RIGHT direction!

Download your  ‘‘What Do You Really Want’  Guided Workbook here.

There are some Wish Creating questions for you. Answer them honestly, don’t edit yourself. The first response that jumps into your head is usually the right one. Don’t second guess and doubt yourself. Whatever your first instinctive response is, is totally fine.

This is a judgment-free zone – we are just playing with thoughts and words here.

Just see what comes up for you before you rush into action.

Categories
2020 Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Self belief

One Day…or Day One? You decide.

Here’s the thing about wellbeing. People put it off. And off and off.

It’s the thing that comes at the end of the To Do’s that we will take care of “when we have more time.”

Brutal Heads Up: you are never going to get “more time”.

In fact, today is the MOST time you are ever going to have.

You will NEVER be younger, or have more minutes, hours, days and years to spend on the planet effecting change internally or externally than you do this very day.

TODAY is the day when you have the most time.

Whatever it is you WANT, that you know would enhance your life and wellbeing:

Be it doing “Couch to 5K”.

Or knocking sugar on the head for good this time.

Or speaking kindly to yourself in the mirror.

Or setting clear and fair boundaries around the division of housework in your home

Or going to your gym class 3x a week as a non-negotiable.

Or drinking your hot water and lemon each morning.

Or whatever the hell it is that you want and intend for yourself.

That you KNOW will do you good – in terms of physical, mental or emotional health…

You will NEVER have more time to implement it.

And get started on that chain of good habit, one day at a time.

THAN you do TODAY.

And that, my friends is a fact.

Whatever you want in terms of prioritising and nourishing your mind, body and soul – it all comes from ONE firm commitment to start.

And the best day for that is undoubtedly today.

Not when you “have more time.”

YOU will NEVER get MORE time.

You are the youngest you will ever be – TODAY

Take that decision to make a positive step (that you want to take!) towards taking care of your wellness today.

Begin now.

One Day…or Day One?

You decide.

 

Categories
Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Summer time

The 6 Key Questions YOU need to review!

As John Lennon so beautifully sang, “And so this is Christmas….and what have you done?”

Here are some thought starters for you to ponder (perhaps with a journal and a cold beer in hand) over the summer to bring this past year to a considered close and set yourself up for the best of all things in the New Year.

 

  1. Farewell

What would you like to farewell and leave behind this year? What have you outgrown? Perhaps it’s a relationship or a social situation or an obligation. Maybe you feel ready for a new career or a new location. What would you like to farewell and gently close the door on?

 

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

 

  1. Gratitude

What are you most grateful for this past year? What worked out well for you, better perhaps than you anticipated? Who came into your life or stepped up in your life in a way that enhanced it? To what and to whom do you feel appreciative for their contribution to your life this year? Have you told them?

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

 

 

  1. Accomplishment

What are your proudest achievements this year? Where did you give the most of yourself? When did you push yourself our of your comfort zone? Where and how did you grow? What are your finest accomplishments of the year?

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

 

 

  1. Lessons

What have you learned this year? About yourself? About others or the world?  What do you want to repeat? Do more of? Less of? What worked? What didn’t? Why? What lessons do you wish to take from this past year?

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

 

 

  1. Giving and Balance

Where did you give the most of yourself this year? Are you happy with where you put the share of your time, energy and attention? Are there areas where you wish you had invested more? Where do you wish you had given less? Where do you wish you had given more support? Where do you, on reflection, think you could have got more support? What are three ways you would like to balance your time or energy distribution differently in the New Year?

______________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

 

 

  1. Highlights

What were the best feeling moments this year? What are the highlights you will remember for life? Who and what made them special and why? What three words sum up this year for you personally?

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

 

 

Taking time out of the hamster wheel frenzy of doing, to pause and reflect is so important.

Effective change and growth comes from awareness of what’s working for us and what is not.

If we wish for a better tomorrow it is best built on the foundations of the lessons of today.

I hope you can take a little time to just be this holiday season, and reflect on a good year well-lived and to build some anticipation for the brand shiny new one that is about to open up!

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love Summer

How to REALLY get a “Beach Body”…

There is an excellent meme that continues to circle about this time of year, year after year, about how to “Get a Beach Body”. It goes like this:

  1. Have a Body
  2. Go to the Beach

Which is all well and good of course, and jolly funny, unless we are secretly having a massive crisis of confidence about our body and we just want to hide inside as the sun comes out.

Improving body image is huge huge huge: and something that is dear to my heart in my coaching Academy. Having women work through the 30-day Self Esteem course and say they have worn a swimsuit or bikini to the beach for the first time in a decade and felt good in their own skin is the most rewarding work in the world. It absolutely thrills me to see that transformation in confidence and happiness.

Everyone deserves to feel at home in their body: it is the only place we have to live so any energy spent hating it rather than loving it is time and energy wasted.

Obviously I can’t replicate a 30-day course of personal growth and transformation in the next 176 words (do waitlist for the Academy if you want the real deal, you can do that here: https://iamawellbeingwarrior.com/wellbeing-warriors/) but I will say if you start focusing on these things it will definitely help.

Do what YOU need to do to feel more confident NOW.

Not when you get to that magical weight or whatever.

What makes you feel even a smidge more confident  – right NOW NOW NOW?

That gorgeous kaftan? Get it.

A pedicure so your feet look bright and beautiful when you see them? Do it.

Stop waiting.

Move towards confidence now.

If you can’t yet love (or even like) your body for how it looks, love your body for what it can DO.

It can, and does, do so much for you.

Concentrate on your capabilities, not your aesthetics.

Celebrate them.

Be proud of them.

And build on them.

Stop focusing on what you are trying to GET from your body, and look at what you are GIVING it instead.

Stop trying to GET a result (thinner / lighter / tighter /younger / etc) and look at what you can consistently GIVE instead as a service.

Give your body kind words.

Give it fresh food.

Give it a walk around the park or a run or a swim in the ocean in the sun.

Revel in what you can give.

Take your body to the beach, feel the sand between your toes and the sun on your skin and enjoy all summer has to offer.

That link for my Academy is below – I can’t tell you how much it will make you feel good on the inside: I believe every woman deserves that: summertime or not!

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love

Write Yourself A New Ending

Here’s an interesting wee fact for you this morning: I see more clients coming for life coaching to make transformative change at the ages of 29, 39, 49 and 59, than all the other years put together. There is something super powerful about that change in decade of our age which naturally gives us pause. We take stock at this turning of the chapter, a whole new decade, and reflect in a way we don’t seem to as much in the in-between years.

When a whole new decade is bearing down on us we seem far more likely to ask ourselves if our life is all that it “should be” by this stage. Are we hitting the milestones we had always privately set for ourselves at this marker? Life can be thrown into sharp relief by contemporaries around us ticking past the same clock and the same milestones.

A change of decade can be the most incredible kick up the pahootie to refocus and get serious about what we want to achieve in the next decade, harnessing that natural motivation can be all powerful. But I also see it as a time where more regret will also surface as a result of the reflection. Of milestones not met or exceeded, statuses not reached. The trick here is not to get sucked into a whirlpool of regret, but to take any relevant lessons and use them to push forwards once again. To not look sorrowfully at the time that has been “lost” but focus all that is to come. To take it as a clean fresh page and begin again. Start anew. Double down. Make it happen.

The quote attributed to C.S. Lewis says it best: “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”.

We have the power to write ourselves a new ending any time we choose. We can do it whenever we take the time to reflect and refocus: not just when the year reads “9”, or a day of the week starts with an M. That no matter what is past, we get to say how our story will end. Starting now.  You can write yourself a new ending, starting today.

 

Categories
Dream and Goals Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress

Reflect and Recommit

Whoa…middle of May already?! 2019 is whizzing by.

Moving towards mid-year, it’s an excellent time to check in on how your year is going.

Here are a few handy review questions to get you thinking:

 

  1. What are you most proud of so far in 2019?

 

  1. What New Year’s Resolutions did you set this year?

 

  1. Which ones have you achieved? Why have you achieved them? How did you accomplish them?

 

  1. Which ones are nicely on track? Why are they going so well? What is it that you are doing that is keeping them on track?

 

  1. Which ones have, ahem, fallen by the wayside? Why is that, honestly? What did you prioritise instead? Are you good with that choice?

 

  1. Do you still want to achieve that thing? Is it still important to you?

 

  1. Is there something else you would like to create for yourself in 2019?

 

We are very good at waiting till Monday to restart the healthy eating plan, waiting till the first of the month to reset our spending, and waiting till the 1st of the year to set our big goals for our lives. Doesn’t have to be that way.

We can reset ourselves any time we choose.

We can start on a brand new adventure, goal or splendid plan at 4.34pm on a random Wednesday (TODAY!) in May if we choose to make it so. Every day is an opportunity to remake ourselves. To take a moment to look up from the hamster wheel of doing that is life and see in what overall direction we are headed. If all the tiny little decisions and choices we are making each day about how to prioritise our time, energy and attention are actually taking us in the direction, on the 1st of January, that we fully intended to go.

Now is the time as we hunker down to winter to reassess. See what has worked. Give ourselves a pat on the back where appropriate and double down on what we still want to move towards. Keeping up momentum as it gets colder and darker with that extra show of motivation to push through is vital. It is so much easier to commit to healthier eating, more exercise and so on when the sun is shining, fruit is falling off the trees in the garden and the nights are long.

So, what is the #1 thing you want to accomplish by the end of the year? What would make 2019 stand out as the year you always look back on? That you finally went to that amazing place you had on your bucket list or started that study programme that transformed your professional opportunities, set up your side hustle business, ran that off-road marathon, lost the 15kgs and kept it off.

Small tiny actions lead to huge long-term accomplishments.

It’s a general principle of how the human brain works that we tend to wildly overestimate what we can accomplish in a day (those To Do list’s that seem so doable at 8am but are almost unchanged at 4pm) and conversely also tend to habitually underestimate what we can accomplish in the long term. We can make so many more things that we think are too big or too time consuming to start, actually happen, if we just start small, but start.

The year is yet young. Reflect and recommit.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women.

Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to waitlist and I’ll let you know the moment the doors are open for new members! 

 

Categories
Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Waste NOT Waist.

This month I’ve been working with the members of my coaching Academy ~Wellbeing Warriors~ on the trusty topic of how to start the year with purpose! Specifically how to turn wishes from a good-natured intention in January, to something that is just a non-negotiable part of their life come December.

One of the things that so many women (and quite a few men) suffer from is over-eating. Having a big lunch as a pick me up during the day to compensate for a tricky meeting, or to delay going back to the office. Overeating on the kid’s leftovers so they don’t “go to waste” (except they DO: they go directly to YOUR waist. Whoa.). Treating yourself to a cold crisp Sauv (or four) as a treat after a hellish day or a horrendous commute. Mindlessly chowing through half a packet of cheese and biccies in-front of Netflix doing the double screen thing on Instagram then hiding the packet. Overeating. It’s huge.

In a way, it’s a good problem to have. We are supremely fortunate to live in a country where the vast majority have an abundance of food to eat. However, we eat when we are not hungry, we overeat when we are full, and we often use food not as fuel but as entertainment or reward, and that’s a problem.

If this is ringing bells then changing your mindset around this alone would set your 2019 on fire: imagine creating freedom around food and eating just when you are physically hungry?

Here’s the thing.

When you are using food, not as fuel, but as either a reward or as entertainment, you are asking your stomach to solve a problem it can never solve.

If you are bored or unhappy or stressed, it’s a job for your brain.

The fact is, you need to talk to your disruptive peer/boss/staff about that tricky meeting and reset some expectations. If your job is boring you then take a training course, ask for more responsibility or take steps to find a new one.

Or you need to cook less or buy some storage for leftovers and get smart at batching meals.

Or you need to genuinely search for a new job with a better commute or negotiate some flexitime.

Or you need to call a friend/take up surfing/train your pet aardvark to whistle if you are bored.

Your stomach cannot ever, evvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrr, solve any of those problems.

They are the job of your brain.

Putting food you don’t require IN your mouth as a substitute for the right, empowered words coming OUT of your mouth will never fix the problem.

It merely perpetuates the dispiriting cycle of overeating. To solve it, you don’t need another expensive diet to eat up: you need to marshall your inner resources, get to the core of it and speak up.

 PS: If this is ringing bells for you and you want more support – dive IMMEDIATELY into the Food & Freedom module within the Academy, get the tools you need and start taking control back today: Join Wellbeing Warriors now.

Categories
Dream and Goals Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy

When Goal Setting: Face Forwards.

Here’s the thing with setting goals. Most people seem to set goals based on what they don’t want to get. Which I know makes a certain kind of sense. If you have had an experience of something you really don’t want to go through again or continue to live with, it naturally shapes what you want to avoid in the future.

You don’t want to weigh 20kgs more than your natural body weight. You don’t want to continually work late. You don’t want a partner who takes you for granted. You don’t want to live a 90-minute commute from work.

It all makes a lot of sense and dwelling on these don’ts is easy to do. After all, we have a richer sensory experience to draw on of what we have or had rather than what we have not yet experienced but would like to. We know exactly how it feels to live in a body that feels too heavy rather than one that feels just right. We know precisely how it is to crawl in the traffic for hours on end rather than working from home with the dog curled up under our desk.

Our attention gravitates to what we know we don’t want, even though we want something different.

This is not a great way to goal set because our dream of a different future becomes defined by escaping the past. The goal is detailed with one eye firmly in the rear view mirror exclaiming, “Hell no, I don’t want any more of THAT!”. Our vision of tomorrow is laid on a foundation of evading a less than stellar yesterday.

When we create goals focused backwards like that we split our energy and focus between past and future without even realising it.

A subtle but powerful shift is to just define what you want and focus all your attention and energy on it. Give full focus to the way you want to go.  How will it feel when you have it? How will you get there? What are the 3 next actions you can take to move towards it? Who could help you or join you on your journey? How will you celebrate or is it reward enough in itself? What resources would support you? Full attention on where you are going.

In short: Face Forwards.

We go where we are looking. You know that yourself from tripping when distracted looking down at your phone, or veering towards the rumble strip as you look out to sea. We are naturally pulled in the direction of our focus. So it makes sense, when there is something that we really want to achieve, to not split that focus into past and future but to keep our eye firmly on the prize ahead.

When we only keep half our attention on where we are going we are slower and we make more mistakes. We are more easily distracted. Our goal is far more likely to fail. When we fully face forwards we can see the bumps in the road earlier and avoid them. We can make smart detours and adjustments. We enjoy the journey far more, and it’s usually a LOT faster.

You don’t need to define your future by escaping your past. You don’t need to marinate in what went wrong, where others let you down or you let yourself down.

You can just define what you want now and move with commitment towards it.  Decide you will make it so in 2019.

Turn your face towards the sun. Face Forwards.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

 

Don't forget!...

Grab your printable
workbook
worth $27… for free!

This 23-page
printable
LIFE COACHING
WORKBOOK
is for constructive,
guided reflection
so you come out of
tricky times stronger
than you went in!
My gift to you.

Worth $27