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2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Private Life Coaching Self Care Sunday

The #1 quality that means people will get the most from life coaching is…

You know what is the #1 thing that means people will get the most from life coaching?

 

Having a clear idea on their problems? On their goals? Clarity on their desires? Awareness of their boundaries?

 

It’s not what you think.

 

My VIP clients and my amazing Coaching Academy members have ONE defining quality in common to get the results they do:

 

And that is READINESS.

 

🔥They are sick and TIRED of the status quo.

 

🔥They want things to be different MORE than they want to get sympathy when talking about them.

 

🔥They are ready to be CURIOUS about their patterns and choices (not judgmental, curious).

 

They are READY to leave the COMFORT BLANKET OF DISCOMFORT (yes, discomfort can be so familiar it feels more comfortable than change) (IKR)

If you want to change your life, and have the health, wealth, meaning, relationships you deserve you have to be READY to leave behind the comfort bubble of excuses, or of feeling sorry for yourself, or having other people feel sorry for you…

 

What you want is right on the other side of being READY for it.

 

READINESS is EVERYTHING.

 

And…the best bit?

 

It’s only one decision away 💛

 

What are you ready for ?

 

PS. Ready to work with me?! I hope so. Here are just three ways we can do that…

Book: Start using the 101 easy-to-implement mental and emotional health tips from my newest (super pretty, super effective) book, 101 Self Care Ideas.

Video Coaching:  Order a White Witch Video Note on any situation that is driving you up the wall and I’ll give you the tools and perspective you need to unlock it in a 72 hours turnaround.  You want coaching on demand? You’ve got it! White Witch Video Notes (Note: this one is Academy members ONLY )

Academy: My absolute number one recommendation is to join the Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy – there are so many modules in there to help you get unstuck. You will learn more about yourself and how to conquer your fear of change in a supported environment.  Life (and your busy brain!) will never be the same, you can check it out and join the WAITLIST right here: Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy

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2022 Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Is putting myself first selfish?

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

It’s been a crazy busy couple of months as I race to get two houses moved into one. At the weekend I realised I had rescheduled out all of my own important commitments this week in order to work around various client and family requests. I was more than happy to do it at the time but as I reached the weekend I was aware I was completely frazzled! It was a good reality check for me: I could feel a bad habit creeping back in: the need to please, to not be perceived as “selfish” and the inability to say no!

Rescheduling what’s important to you (your run/yoga session/coffee with a friend) because someone else’s needs require fulfilling has a short-term psychological payoff. We feel like a good person for going out of our way to help someone else, or putting the needs of our client/employer/child/spouse before our own. They are happy: therefore we are happy.

As an occasional thing it’s absolutely a win-win: everyone gains in happiness and our sacrifice of personal needs is balanced by the feelgood factor of helping someone else get what they need. Score!

As a long-term strategy, however, it’s a disaster. If we consistently put other people’s needs before our own then it leads to burnout and resentment. I see many clients who have fallen into this trap. I see it a lot with mums who make time to taxi their kids to 17 different after-school activities but can’t seem to make time for one damn thing for themselves in the week, or the next week, or the week after that. Also, with busy professionals who defer their weekly game of squash, or acting class in order to get that big project at work finished. And then the next week there is another important, urgent work issue. And the next. And on it goes.

It’s faulty thinking. Somehow, we get into the habit of deferring our own perfectly valid needs because other people’s needs matter more. Their happiness matters more. Meeting their needs becomes more important. It doesn’t make sense and here is why. If needs matter, then all people’s needs matter, not just your boss/husband/child, but yours too. Either everybody’s needs count, or nobody’s count.

A wise old boss once put it to me this way: “if you say yes to everything Louise, what is your yes worth?” Being able to sometimes say “no” and stick to it makes your “yes” much more valuable.

It’s your job to stand up for what you need to be healthy and happy, even if that means that someone else doesn’t get what they need (or think they need) all the time.

The opposite of selfish is selfless. And this is absolutely what we get. We are so busy trying to avoid being selfish that we get less of ourselves, less of what matters to us in our lives.

I’d like us to think about being “self-full” instead of selfish. That we can carve out time to replenish ourselves, and we should. When we do this, we have so much more juice in the tank to give to others. It’s that classic analogy of putting on your own oxygen mask first in a crashing plane so you can then help others.

When we have commitments to our own needs in terms of what is a good life-work balance for us, what we need to look after our own physical, emotional and spiritual health, then we have so much more to serve the world.

PS. Want some snappy self-care inspiration RIGHT NOW that isn’t the usual “drink more water, oh and have a bubble bath” yawnathon? I got ya! Download my latest book 101 Self-Care Ideas right here. It’s amazing value, super pretty and…it’s satisfyingly TICKABLE so you can see your progress!

That’s ONE thing you can do for you, right now. You’re welcome 🙂

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2022 Good Enough Love the Skin You're In Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

It’s time to let perfectionism go for the mirage it is.

I have come across a beautiful and timeless Japanese art called  “kintsukuroi”, which is the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold.

 

Cracked and shattered items are lovingly pieced back together and the cracks flooded with liquid gold.

 

The piece is no longer perfect, but its repair is proudly on view in precious metal, integral to its new form, which only serves to make the piece more beautiful – not despite its breaks, but because of them.

The deeper meaning of this art is to consider: what if we saw ourselves the same way?

 

We all go through astonishing heartbreak and life explosions, from which we will never be quite the same. 

 

There will be wounds, and we might try to hide them … but they are there.

 

We might think we are no longer as good, worthy, or tarnished in some way once the storms of life hit and we are no longer box-fresh perfect.

 

But what if we believed that we were not just okay because we have had a few breaks along the way…but that we are more beautiful because of it? 

 

That our beauty actually lies within our imperfection and our transcendence of life’s slings and arrows?

 

That our uniqueness, flaws, scars, idiosyncrasies, are an integral part of the fabric that makes us imperfectly perfect?

 

That our survival and our ability to prevail in the case of hardship adds depth and richness?

 

This is life.

 

Not one of us gets out without getting a bit battered along the way, as well as screwing up royally a few times ourselves too.

 

No one, anywhere, at any time, has lived a perfect life.

 

Maybe it’s time to let perfectionism go for the mirage it is.

 

We are all good people; doing the best we can, with what we have, and what we know.

 

And you know what – that’s perfectly good enough right there.

 

What say you? Ready to relinquish the mirage of perfection for a little kintsukuroi? To fill our scars with liquid gold? To celebrate their beauty because we survived?

 

We are all worthy, not just despite the breaks we have experienced, but because of them. 

 

P.S. Three ways we can work together:

Book: Start using the 16 easy-to-implement mental and emotional health tips from my newest (super pretty, super effective) book, 101 Self Care Ideas.

Course:  Dive into this short course and get your mind on what matters most…feel different inside and out in just 2 weeks, 14 Day Real Self-Care Kickstart.

Academy: Want to waitlist for The Coaching Academy for 2023? Your best self awaits. Jump on the list here.

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2022 Emotional Honesty My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Wonder…or weapon?

Ah, big thought for you today…and a very cool graphic:

 

Worry is essentially wondering about whether something bad is going to happen to us or not. Wondering is our imagination on fire. But is it

 

Wonder…or weapon? 💣

 

That stuff you are worrying about? 99% of it is not going to happen.

 

😯 Worry is literally using your own imagination AS A WEAPON – AGAINST YOUR SWEET SELF.

Image: https://www.yeahitschill.com/

​​​​​​​

Please expend your precious mental and emotional energy filling your head with:

 

❣ Fun and splendid plans.

 

🌟 Uplifting daydreams and imaginings “wouldn’t it be cool if…”

 

❣ Appreciation for people and things in your life – big or small.

 

🌟 Connecting to your miraculous body and whatever it is doing right now so capably for you.

 

❣ Planning a treat, a phone call, an adventure for someone you care about.

 

Your imagination can be your greatest asset, or the source of self-inflicted wounds.

 

Wonder…or Weapon…?

 

You decide.

 

P.S. Wondering how you can do something positive for yourself today? Wonder no more. You can get my book: 101 Self Care Ideas that are not “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath for just $17 (instead of $29) today. Grab it here. It’s pretty. You will love it.

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2022 Energy Boosters My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Need more sunshine in your pocket?

Sometimes (actually most of the time!) self-care can be SIMPLE…for example….

 

It’s less sunny in the winter (duh!) which has all sorts of impact on our delicately balanced circadian & ultradian biorhythms that govern our body’s performance & moods.

 

Despite the very real impact of the seasons on our physiology, life does not stop – we continue our commitments & obligations with no adjustment whatsoever to the very real seasonal impact on our body and mind.

 

Our internal rhythms may change quite significantly yet we expect – of others and ourselves – to continue with the demands of life as if nothing is any different.

 

One of the biggies here is the amount of sunlight we get.

 

Sunlight is a significant provider of Vitamin D in our bodies, as well as being involved in the regulation of serotonin (happy hormone) & melatonin (sleep regulating hormone). It’s also crucial to our mood & sleep levels.

 

Feeling a bit blue in the winter is a definite sign to try to get more blue sky in your day.

 

The obvious and fuhreee choice is, if you can work your day around it, to try & get a walk in at lunchtime. Go grab your sushi from the place four blocks away so you can get in your 15 minutes of sun rays.

 

Other options include checking out light boxes, lamps & alarm clocks that wake you with simulated natural sunlight, there are some excellent ones on the market.

 

My preferred option for a sunshine injection however, is obviously to get on a plane & head for the sun if time and budget allow & get in a winter sunshine break. For health reasons, of course!

 

Today, your self-care mission is to get at least 15 minutes of sunshine, and know you are doing great things for your body and mind as you make it happen. All the small things add up.

 

PS.  All small self-care actions ADD UP. They have a cumulatively positive effect on your body and mind. You can get 101 (very satisfyingly tickable! ✅) ideas in my new book 101 Self-Care Ideas that are not that are not “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath! Click here to get inspiration and snappy action on tap. Did I mention it was tickable? So motivating! ✅

 

{ NB: If you think you might be suffering from a case of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) you should visit your GP ASAP. A continually super low mood in winter can require medical intervention.}

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2022 Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

The Selfishness question we all need to ask ourselves….

I want to talk about setting yourself a “Self-Care Baseline” today…

 

Self-care is often confused with selfishness, so frequently it comes so low down on people’s “To do” list – just under “clean out the garage” and “drop jacket at the drycleaners” that it hardly ever happens. When looking after ourselves is actually our most important job, why does it always seem to come last for most women?

 

What I see again and again is busy women juggling multiple responsibilities, like work and family, start thinking somewhere along the line that taking time out for themselves is selfish, or something that can ONLY happen when everyone else is taken care of. They are always at the end of the list, which builds resentment and saps energy.

 

As someone once debilitated by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I now look at things differently. I think that not putting your own self-care first is selfish. If you are run ragged by the demands of life you will NEVER be able to give your best to others – you’re depriving them of the wonderful person you can be. Racing to fulfil every demand without coming up for air means you can’t be truly present and connected in your interactions; you’re always thinking about “what next”.

 

Creating a self-care baseline is an important contract to make with yourself, whether it’s a monthly massage, an hour alone to read your favourite books, or a weekly Pilates class that’s a non-negotiable it’s the equivalent of putting your own oxygen mask on first in the plane before helping others. Being selfish actually becomes the most powerful thing you can do not just for yourself, but for everyone else too.

 

You don’t have to do All The Things, you don’t need to do self-care perfectly…just start with ONE thing and create a Self-Care Baseline that supports you and that you can look forward to, and say, that is MY THING I do for ME. It’s more important than you know.

 

PS. Want ideas to set your own Self-Care Baseline?

I’ve got 101 of them for you to choose from in my (satisfyingly tickable!) new book:101 Self-Care Ideas that are not that are not “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath! Click here to see what it will do for you and grab it at a discount today.

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2022 Good Enough Love your body My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Listen up! We’ve been sold a Big Fat Lie about Self-Care. BIG. Huge!

Little bit of a myth buster today…

We’ve (and I mean YOU!) been sold a lie that self-care looks super nice and fluffy. That it looks like pedicures, bubble baths and avo on toast. That it smells of bubblegum and candyfloss, and it lives, mainly on Insta, striking a well-lit pose.  I know you know what I’m talking about. Self-care is BIG bucks: there are a LOT of vested interests in telling you that THIS perfectly manicured, utterly passive image, is what self-care looks like.

Let me tell you something from coaching thousands and thousands of smart women to lead their healthiest, happiest lives peppered with continual personal growth:

Real self-care is actually really ACTIVE: it’s WORK.  And sometimes it’s really HARD. And it pretty much always doesn’t look pretty.

Real self-care doesn’t come with a pink bow on it – real self-care looks like this:

  • Sitting down and making a spreadsheet of all your debts and figuring out some sort of payment plan that will start to release you from crushing financial stress – THAT my friend, is not sexy, but it IS self-care.
  • Walking away from that oh so gorgeous soulmate of a man, with the abs and the flowers and the smile, who also never turns up when he says, lets you down continually and intermittently ghosts – THAT, my friend, IS self-care.
  • Scheduling a meeting with your boss to talk through your responsibilities and workload, and remuneration in a well prepared, confident, assertive way – THAT, my friend, that is self-care all the way.
  • Politely saying no thanks to that girl’s get-together that inevitably makes you feel rubbish and that you have to compete and yes you have known each other from school but they just don’t really get you anymore, but deciding not to go this year – THAT is self-care.

? Calling ahead to the dinner party host to explain you are doing a particular health-related eating programme that you are really committed to sticking to, even at her event, and working out a few easy menu items that she can prepare or you can bring – THAT right there, is self-care.

Here’s the thing:

Self-care doesn’t always look like what’s EASY.

Self-care is unlikely to be something that is PASSIVE.

And it’s usually not INDULGENT.

It’s not that indulgence is bad. Far from it – but bubble baths…they only feel indulgent when you are lying there knowing you can afford your mortgage.

Don’t mistake an enjoyable indulgence for self-care. Enjoy the indulgence, of course! Enjoy that good passive bubbly stuff that puts the cherry on the top of life – but don’t mistake it for the real WORK of caring for your beautiful self.

People wonder why they have a massage or spend the day at the spa, essentially “doing self-care”, but then basically feel exactly the same about themselves, their body, and their life once they have left the spa and got home.

This is why. ???? ???? ??? ???? ????? ????-????! ???? ???? ???? ????? ??????????. Indulgence feels gooooooooddddd, (and I’m all for it) but – and this is the really important thing – it only feels good IN THE MOMENT.

Self-care? REAL self-care? My friends, real self-care is often HARD WORK in the moment.

It’s about change.

About challenge.

About TRUTH.

But – here’s the kicker – It LASTS.

When you genuinely do what you need to do to really CARE for yourself – you feel better not just that day, but day after day after day.

Remember this:

?????????? ????? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???????.

????-???? ???? ??? ????? ???? ????, ???? ??????.

 

PS. Switch up your self-care with 101 ideas guaranteed to make a REAL difference to your mood, your mind, your body and your LIFE with a copy of my brand-new digital book ‘101 Self Care Ideas that are NOT “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath’. For inspiration and motivation to tap into whenever you need it, grab your copy right here to see what it will do for you.

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2022 My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

There is no more important time to be taking good care of yourself than during a crisis. Unfortunately, this is generally when it feels the hardest to do it!

  • It’s difficult to connect with eating nourishing food being a priority when you have suffered such a huge loss that nothing can fill it. However, improved self-care is exactly what we need to do at this time.
  • We can meet adversity with more resolve when we have slept well, have eaten well, are hydrated, and up and dressed ready to face the world, even when we just want to hide under the duvet and hope it will all go away.
  • Going back to basics with sleep/nutrition/exercise non-negotiables gives us a platform of physical resiliency to deal with whatever faces us emotionally.​​​​
  • A crisis situation is what it is; but it is always going to be better to face it with a good night’s sleep and a full belly than being wired and tired.

When life has thrown a curve ball and looking after yourself feels like more than you can handle right now

  1. Reach out for support. People care. They WILL help you. At my darkest times I have been amazed at the kindness of friends gently shepherding my self-care forwards. Looking after me when I can’t do it myself.
  2. Don’t try and do All The Things. Just doing ONE piece of self-care will feel empowering and that you are controlling SOMETHING, when life itself feels out of control. Just do ONE good thing for yourself. Don’t set the bar too high. Just do ONE.
  3. If you need ideas, you can get my book (it’s so pretty and easy to use you will love it) and tick off one new self-care action each day. You don’t even need to have the energy to think of a thing, I’ve done it for you, and broken it down into 8 different categories of self-care. All you need to do is ONE a day. They will all gently move you forwards.

You can get it here: 101 Self-Care Ideas

Be good to you.

 

PS. One of the things readers have loved is the “tickable” format on the 101 Self Care Ideas, gently motivating to see your progress. Especially if you can’t affect much on other areas of life right now, you CAN do this small thing to replenish yourself. You can grab it here.

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2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Love your body Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

The REAL COST Of Not Taking Care Of Your Self-Care!

Today I want to talk to you about…drum roll puhleeease…the REAL COST Of Not Taking Care Of Your Self-Care.

Y’know good people, I am not going sugar coat it for you (I care about you too much for that)

I’m just going to say it:

Y’all gotta stop treating self-care like it’s an optional extra

Like it’s the thing you will do… once all the important sh*t is done.

Like it’s the side order of fries rather than the burger.

Like it’s an optional extra to think about…when you have time.

Like it’s a freaking LUXURY.

We treat self-care like there is NO COST to NOT doing it.

Be super clear:

If you are not taking care of your precious self

And by that, I mean not just your physical wellbeing

But your mental, emotional and spiritual health too

You will be practicing self-care-compensation instead: and it costs us far more than genuine self-care.

There is an immediate cost to not taking care of ourselves: it’s expensive and it looks like this:

  • We will be drinking wine to feel better after a hard day because we do not have a regular mental or emotional health practice to tap into to unwind and rebalance. ?????????.
  • We will be trying on 15 outfits and not feeling good in or buying clothes in sizes we don’t want to compensate for the activity we didn’t do. ?????????.
  • We will be buying shiny new shoes because they are the only thing we can guarantee to fit to compensate for the stress-eating we did. ?????????.
  • We will be losing our rag at someone we didn’t mean to, in a way we regret because we didn’t do our own emotional boundary work before we had the conversation. ?????????.
  • We will be feeling pissed off or sad when certain situations come up and reaching for our phone, wasting hours, as we endlessly scroll as an adult pacifier because we are not processing our emotions in a safe and considered way. ?????????.
  • We will feel tired and reach for extra coffee, tea and energy drinks to keep going and pep us up because we are not listening and caring for the very real rest needs of our body. ?????????.

 

Here’s the thing.

If you think that self-care can always be put off til later…

It can’t.

You are ALWAYS taking care of yourself – and soothing uncomfortable emotions – it’s just HOW are you doing it?

Are you doing it in a conscious way that elevates your mind and body in a way that you choose that benefits you today, but also tomorrow?

Or are you doing self-care unconsciously in a way that just gets you through the day, numbing out, reducing anxiety. Mindless scrolling. Eating. Gossiping. Drinking. Faffing.

Room for improvement – right?

It’s time to start treating self-care

And I mean real self-care, (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual) not just booking a massage once a year!

Not as an optional extra.

But as an ongoing essential part of healthy mind maintenance.

Quality self-care is the investment in ourselves that gives us the biggest return;

Because if we don’t make time for health, sooner or later we have to make time for illness of one sort or another.

Let’s commit to taking self-care off the optional extra list, and make it an integrated priority of every day.

 

P.S. You don’t have to find this ONE, big magic bullet that will solve all your self-care and wellbeing issues and intentions. You just need to take ONE positive action forward. I give you all my BEST strategies to transform GOOD INTENTIONS into actual ACTION in The 14 Day Real Self-Care Kickstart. It’s a short course with a difference.  Click here to see what it will do for you. Just $97 for you today.

P.S.S. You can also grab a copy of my book for instant inspo and transform those wellbeing intentions into snappy choices that elevate your mental and physical health: 101 Self Care Ideas is right here, and just $17 today

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2022 Love your body Self Care and Self Love

Here’s the thing about wellbeing. People put it off. And off and off.

If you have ever failed to follow through with a new healthy habit you were initially really excited about…this one is for you!

Here’s the thing about wellbeing. People put it off. And off and off.

It’s the thing that comes at the end of the To Do’s that we will take care of “when we have more time.”

Brutal Heads Up: you are never going to get “more time”.

In fact, today is the MOST time you are ever going to have.

You will NEVER be younger, or have more minutes, hours, days and years to spend on the planet effecting change internally or externally than you do this very day.

TODAY is the day when you have the most time.

Whatever it is you WANT that you know would enhance your life and wellbeing:

Be it doing “Couch to 5K”.

Or knocking sugar on the head for good this time.

Or speaking kindly to yourself in the mirror.

Or setting clear and fair boundaries around the division of housework in your home

Or going to your gym class 3x a week as a non-negotiable.

Or drinking your hot water and lemon each morning.

Or whatever the hell it is that you want and intend for yourself.

That you KNOW will do you good – in terms of physical, mental or emotional health…

You will NEVER have more time to implement it.

And get started on that chain of good habits, one day at a time.

THAN you do TODAY.

And that, my friends, is a fact.

Whatever you want in terms of prioritising and nourishing your mind, body and soul – it all comes from ONE firm commitment to start.

And the best day for that is undoubtedly today.

Not when you “have more time.”

YOU will NEVER get MORE time.

You are the youngest you will ever be – TODAY

Take that decision to make a positive step (that you want to take!) towards taking care of your wellness today.

Begin now.

One Day…or Day One?

You decide.

 

P.S. Want to check out what Personal Growth by choice looks like? Take a peek at my Coaching Academy here

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