Categories
2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Self Care and Self Love

Not investing in my wellbeing cost me over $100k…

I want to explore why someone wouldn’t invest in their mental health and physical wellbeing.

It’s usually one of these three things…

  1. “It will just take care of itself  and doesn’t need proactive support” (weirdly, this is how 95% of the population expect their mental health to work, to just “just be okay” or “fix itself” or “look after itself”).
  2. “I will get to it later… I’m super busy right now…”
  3. “I can’t afford it” (she says on a phone priced over a thousand dollars, in three hundred dollar shoes)

Let’s take each of these three in turn: 

  1. Mental Health

Our mental health does not exist in a vacuum. We don’t get taught skills to proactively manage our mental health and mood at school. The quality of our LIFE is determined by the quality of our mental health. Why do we place SO little value on proactively supporting it and expect it to happen magically all by itself? 

The fact is, it doesn’t, does it?! That’s why we are a nation of people self-medicating with wine o’clock, cheese and crackers, endless scrolling, avoiding hard conversation and potential conflict, being riddled with resentment and still not speaking up, cake, gossip, pushing down emotions and pretending we are fine…and on and on and on. 

Mental Health doesn’t take care of itself. It takes effort and structure. We all know this. The quality of our LIFE is determined by the quality of our mental health. It’s time to invest in that. You can do it with me in a super cost-effective and pleasurable way.

  1. I’m Super Busy.

Yeah yeah! We will get to taking care of our wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) “when there is time” OR we will look after ONE aspect of our wellbeing (usually physical), but NOT the others (a perfectly instagrammable arse when you are still totally miserable inside is not the recipe for a happy life). 

We need to STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME to take care of our wellbeing. The perfect time is NOW. We just need to stop looking at it as “all or nothing” and take perfectly imperfect action daily!

The rest of life will flow ROUND IT. You will never be less busy. You need a wellbeing system that is DESIGNED to work WITH busy. I can help you with this!

  1. I can’t afford it.

It’s easy to say we can’t afford it, til we have a health crisis and then we realise it’s the only thing that is actually WORTH ANYTHING! I got into wellbeing after exiting a very successful corporate career having compromised my health to the point of being bedridden in my 30’s. At that point a six-figure salary meant jack, because I couldn’t even dress myself, let alone leave my house! 

What you think is important is suddenly not important when your health is compromised. The truth is we cannot NOT AFFORD TO INVEST IN OUR WELLBEING. A year of being ill and unable to work cost me well over $100K, if I’d been in my Academy and supporting myself as I should have, I would have saved myself…(wait for it) $99,621. HA!

IKR?!

Today I want to talk about you re-joining the Wellbeing Warriors Academy ahead of the price rise. 

Only YOU know if the time is right.

But equally, only YOU know if you are cheating yourself out of a healthier, happier, better supported you with one (or more) of these three falsehoods. 

The truth is your wellbeing does NOT magically take care of itself. You will never really be less busy than you are now. You can invest in your ongoing wellness and personal growth anyway. 

You don’t need to completely lose your health like I did to know how important it is to your enjoyment of life and how you support your friends and family. 

You know it’s your responsibility to look after yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. No one else is going to do it for you.

So, if you don’t have an effective system and strategy for making that an easy part of daily life, I’d like to help you with that!

Jump into Wellbeing Warriors before the price goes up.

From the end of July, the price is more than doubling from $379 to $997 for an annual membership. 

Why?

After seven years, it’s become obvious that the price has to go up. Otherwise, I’m underselling the program, which doesn’t do either of us any favours. I want to continue to host this incredible community of assisted personal growth for you, for the next seven years, and beyond! The only thing changing is that it’ll be done at a sustainable price that reflects the $20,000 value inside.

So, if you’ve been wanting to support your mental and physical health in a joyful, practical way — and if you’ve been thinking about JOINING THE WW ACADEMY— I’d love you to consider joining before the end of July 2022. 

If you join now, your WW membership will be “grandfathered” at the CURRENT rate ($379) for as long as you are an active member, and so, if you join now, you’ll be getting in at the best possible price and save $618 in your first year. 

CLICK HERE TO BEAT THE PRICE RISE

CLICK HERE TO WATCH TESTIMONIALS FROM OUR MEMBERS

Categories
2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Happiness Self Care and Self Love

How this busy Mum ditched the sugar and the drama… and GREW in confidence!

I want to share a story to illustrate how most women are sabotaging themselves with their approach to wellbeing.

Basically, creating the (super demoralising) boom-bust cycle of on and off the wagon with themselves, costing not just their progress but their sanity too!

Hopefully, this story will stop some people from doing the same! Because the question I really want you to keep in mind as you read this is…

“What would it be like if I stopped starting over?”

So, the heroine of today’s story is Marina.

Marina is a fabulous member in Wellbeing Warriors.

And it took Marina a looooong time to become a member!

I’m going to illustrate Marina’s journey for you so you “get it.”

Check out the image below ?

It represents Marina’s progress with the healthy habits she REALLY wanted to establish that would enhance her life the most… basically these were ditching sugar (and a few kilos whilst she was at it!), reducing alcohol, exercising 3x a week, and not losing her sh*t with her teenage sons on the regular. Learning how to meditate and reduce stress would also be a bonus, because work was high pressure. 

These didn’t seem like too much to ask from life, but as a busy working Mum it seemed to be an impossible task to keep all the plates spinning at the same time. 

If she ditched sugar she would get grumpy and be more irritable with the kids after a long day. 

If the weight started to come off, that would feel GREAT SUPER AMAZING for a few weeks, then life would throw a curveball like a new project at work and all that progress would just…poof!…evaporate and she would be back to square one. 

If she started exercising more she would feel great, but also, feel like she deserved a “treat” so somehow would weirdly start having more food treats and cheeky wines than before. 

She just couldn’t get all these habits to ALIGN. And, it was weirdly EXPENSIVE having them not line up. 

  • There were the shoes she bought herself because “you can never get too fat for your shoes can you?” purchase to make her feel better ($175).
  • The expensive haircuts she was getting to compensate for not feeling great in her clothes ($150 a go). 
  • The gym membership she only used sporadically ($40 a month) and KNEW she wasn’t getting the value from. 
  • The wine o’clock she was buying to relax because she was worried and stressed about things and it really was the only guaranteed way to switch off and unwind ($15 a bottle).
  • The “I’ve blown it I might as well” brunches ($30) and the “f*ck it” i might as well pizza ($20).

All these things that made her feel okay IN THE MOMENT, but really were ways to compensate from not being able to effectively reduce her mental stress and keep her wellbeing habits on track. 

You can see how stressful that is, and perhaps can relate to her somewhat too. I know I can.

When, in a moment of just wanting to do something, ANYTHING, different, Marina joined the Wellbeing Warriors Academy, she wasn’t sure what she was in for. She just wanted to get off this BOOM BUST cycle she had going. 

She took a few weeks just to suss out the vibe and the flow in the Academy and then dived right on it to taking action.

Small, but consistent action. 

She started with the Live module that month that was the “Imposter Syndrome” module… did the 2 minute daily challenge and practiced the tool that meant that her confidence in herself started to gently, subtly rise each day, so slowly she almost couldn’t notice it… but on Day 30 of the month when she looked back she couldn’t believe how far she had come. 

This gave her just the boost she needed to keep going. The next module she really connected with was “Saving The Craving” and she had a huge breakthrough in terms of taking the focus off her weight and onto a 30-Day challenge to remove sugar and flour from her diet to see how her mood and physiology felt without that sugar high. The change blew her away and because she was doing it with hundreds of other women round the world,  it just felt so much easier to be carried away in the energy of the group. She did ALL 30 days! Couldn’t believe she had stuck to it! Felt so much more energised, was sleeping better, way less moody, her skin looked years younger. Oh. Dropped 4.5kgs too

Marina was already feeling like a new woman and took the next month’s module “Better Boundaries”, where she understood exactly what boundaries were, and how to apply them in her own life for what was really the first time. They went from being an abstract concept that everyone talks about to being something really practical she could apply. She used the 5 Step Better Boundary technique with her teens and was AHHHHMAZED at the difference in her household. Made things easier at work too. Just one conversation, had in the right way, so much drama gone. 

And on to the next module…! Marina couldn’t wait for what I had in store the next month…

That’s the thing, I think, with wellbeing. Sometimes we don’t know what we REALLY NEED, we just know what we are doing isn’t working. We need a NEW approach, new tools, new accountability and support. 

Do you have a gameplan for how to switch up what you are doing? If you don’t — please consider joining the Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy. 

The time to do it is definitely right NOW as you will beat the price MORE THAN DOUBLING from $397 to $997?.

CLICK HERE TO BEAT THE PRICE RISE

Come on in! You cannot imagine where you will be in your mind and body a year from now!

Categories
2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Breaking through from burnout: When “I’m fine” is really a secret cry for help

Prisha is a busy mum and step-mum, who works part-time AND is an exceptional surveyor in the office. She juggles a lot, mostly with a smile, and is THAT FRIEND. You know, the one you go to who always helps you feel better and knows what to say. 

Prisha had a problem and that was – she was veeeerrry burned out. And that a lot of her “I’m fine!”’s were in fact covering up the fact she was utterly overwhelmed and feeling like she was a hamster on a wheel from the moment she woke up to the moment she closed her eyes at night. 

AND because she was already so busy, she absolutely did NOT have time for yet another spendy wellbeing programme or gym membership that would be gathering dust after the first week. She didn’t need more in her life, she was already up to her limit. 

Prisha joined the Coaching Academy as a bit of a cry for help, really. And she spent the first few weeks just checking in with the daily challenges, as she dipped into the Packing Light module that helped her dial down her tendency to overthink. 

Her big breakthrough came in one of the weekly Coach Spot LIVE sessions. It was a question another Academy member had asked about overwhelm in terms of extended family obligations, and as she listened to the advice and tools given on the live Prisha picked up a HUGE ‘AHA!’ moment for herself that changed the way she had been viewing her responsibilities and her boundaries. 

The other woman’s question unlocked her exact dilemma. Putting it into practice with a simple 5-step conversation (in the Better Boundaries module) changed SO MUCH in her office life and at home to create that breathing space she needed. It was suddenly so CLEAR when it wasn’t her wrestling with her own problem in her own head, but hearing someone get coached on something similar just unlocked that situation for her. 

That’s why we do a new LIVE Coach Spot every week inside the WW Academy. 

Those sorts of live conversations and interactions are BAKED INTO THE ACADEMY. I know it’s not just about the tools and resources in the module that month (and they are awesome!), it’s also about the opportunity to have your personal life issues coached.

One new perspective can be all it takes to unlock an issue that you have been wrestling with for YEARS.

I will never cease to be delighted by how much each weekly Coach Spot session helps SO many other members. There is a universality to what bothers us… and being able to see the nuggets of your own solution hidden in someone else’s question and answer is THE COOLEST THING. 

You might be surprised by how much you’ll get out of these weekly LIVE sessions. You don’t need to join me live (although great if you can!) all the coaching sessions are available for replay in a very tidy and indexed hub where you can go listen as you are out walking the dog or driving to work! 

If the LIVE Coach Spot sessions sound interesting to you, they are WEEKLY, and INCLUDED in your Wellbeing Warriors membership, and you can jump in now and enjoy AND beat the price rise?!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COACHING ACADEMY, SIGN UP BEFORE 31ST JULY TO BEAT THE PRICE RISE

Categories
2022 Happiness

Happiness is only accessible in the present moment.

In the era where the To Do list is King (Queen? ?) it’s all to easy to DEFER OUR HAPPINESS to:

* when we are “on top of things”

* when life is “less full on”

​​​​​​​* when “things calm down a bit”

It is 2022.

Life is FAST.

This time will NEVER COME!

Happiness is only accessible in the present moment.

It lives NOW. We have to grab it, plan for it, relish it TODAY.

Yes, big things count like family celebrations and going off on your holibobs, but don’t discount injecting more MICRO-MOMENTS of happiness into right now…

* Appreciating your partner/BFF/colleague with a kind word or message

* Playing a practical joke on the kids – deliberately create laughter and connection

* Fussing the cat or dog – they live in the moment naturally

* Taking a moment BEFORE you start the next thing to reflect on a job well done

​​​​​​​* Feeling happy about just how cute your hair/shoes/cardi look today

 

Make space for happy amid the whirl of doing.

Micro-moments of happy.

They all add up.

And honestly, if we can’t do that, what is the point of all that we strive for?

Categories
2022 Communication Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Over-thinking… sound familiar?!

Over-thinking… sound familiar?!

So common, and at a very real cost to our mental health.

Much (not all, but a lot) of our stress is (when we step back and evaluate it objectively) self-created. It’s the same thought-loops or stories we have told ourselves over and over about how we are letting someone down / not good enough in some way / something is going to go wrong / so and so will be upset.

These catastophising stories can run on repeat in our heads creating anxiety and stress. It’s all the over-thinking “What ifs” that can drag us down.

A really helpful tip can be getting these endless anxiety-inducing stories out of your head, and into paper.

Once you look at them in black and white it’s a lot easier to slow the over-thinking down, and evaluate them with a more considered perspective:

Is that really true? Is that a fact? Where’s the evidence of that? What’s the percentage likelihood of that ever occurring? If that did happen how would I handle it? When have I handled something similar successfully before? Is this even my responsibility?

The problem isn’t that we are thinking – it’s HOW we are thinking.

Pull out a pen and paper (or use the notes page in your phone) acknowledge that thinking, and then assess that story for truth, likelihood, responsibility and your capability.

Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Good Enough Live Happy Inspiration

Do You Ever Secretly Feel “Not Good Enough”?

The secret to making 2021 count.

There are as many dreams of a different, more fulfilling life than there is tea in China. Each dream as unique as the person. However, the underlying reason why we don’t step up and move towards our dreams is usually the same.

Do any of these ring a bell with you?

• The middle manager who really wants to be a nutritionist but is scared it won’t work out and they can’t make money
The gorgeous girl who has been unlucky in love and is reluctant to get into online dating, or, who does it, but then cancels the dates at the last minute.
• The busy mum who wants to get fit but can’t get a consistent exercise programme going
The new lawyer who graduated with a hard-won degree but it absolutely loathes dragging themselves into the law office each day. They slap on a brave game face and get on with it despite the misery.
• The Dad who loves his family but hates his job, but can’t leave because he is the breadwinner.
The girl who wants to travel and do the OE but has no one to go with so doesn’t book it and never goes.
• The girl who does the part-time training in massage and wants to make a full time living out of it, but is too scared to make the leap.
The spouse who is desperately unhappy but can’t have the conversation to either improve or leave the marriage.

It’s so easy for us to “get by”, day after day. Not truly connected with what makes us happy and fulfilling our life’s purpose. And then the next day, and the next day after that. And before we know it years have gone by in the “it’s okay” zone, but the amount of time we feel truly connected, alive and at peace is next to nothing.

Why?

The number one reason I see people holding themselves back is a fear that on some level they won’t be “good enough”.

• Not good enough to make a new business in the wellbeing field make enough money and be successful enough to support a good lifestyle
Not good enough to trust that there is a loving and respectful partner out there who will make her soul sing. Not good enough to be loved completely and be loved in return.
• Not good enough to put herself and the needs of her body first sometimes, that doing that will mean she is a not good enough mum, that she is selfish.
Not good enough to pack in the shiny yet unfulfilling career path and do something that the family might not approve of. Not good enough to stand up to the inevitable familial pressure.
• Not good enough to make the break and create a career change that is bold yet pragmatic. Not good enough to make the leap.
Not good enough to make friends along the trail. What if people don’t like me? What if I never meet anyone?
• Not good enough to do the non-traditional thing. That’s for other people, the brave ones who are good enough. More talented. More special.
Not good enough to make a stand and stick to it. Not good enough to live my own and make an independent life. I’ll never make it work.

Not good enough is a universal fear. It’s also a universal lie. And believing it keeps us playing small in the world. It dashes countless hopes and dreams. It’s an all-pervasive, silent assassin of living our life’s purpose.

When you look around at people who are living their life’s mission, what do you see? You see that they do feel good enough to give it a go. To back themselves. To trust that when they are honouring the messages of their soul that things will work out. That they have the courage, resilience, and passion to overcome any obstacle.

People who are living their life’s purpose don’t wait to feel good enough to make it happen. They know that that feeling comes from the action of leaping towards their passion.

Because – here’s the secret they are in on:

You are ALREADY good enough.

Why? Because “Good Enough” is an impossible standard to define. When you think about it, what does it even MEAN? Define for me someone who is good enough? Hard right? We are all imperfectly imperfect. No-one, and everyone, is already good enough.

If we wait to feel good enough on some level before summoning the courage to live the life we know we are meant to live, we will be waiting a very long time. We have to take action before we feel good enough, in the knowledge that the truth is we are already more than good enough to handle whatever comes up.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is proceeding with your soul’s calling DESPITE the fear.

You are ALREADY good enough.

You can do this. Make 2021 count.

 

Categories
2020 2021 Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body New Year

Why You Don’t Need A ‘New You’

“Happy New Year! Happy New You!” How many headlines will you see screaming that this month? Too many to count, I suspect.

I am going to be really subversive here (I know, I’m such a rebel) and kick off the New Year with a directly contradictory premise: You don’t need a “New You”.

The “You” you are is absolutely perfect in your imperfection. Anyone who tells you you are broken in some way is undermining your personal sovereignty. Especially anyone who tells you you are broken in order to sell something.

You are not broken! You are whole and complete.

Life and self-improvement is a PROCESS. A process means it’s ongoing. It doesn’t end until you do. It is never complete. Life is always in a state of beautiful incompletion.

We are all works in progress. For the whole of our lives. It is never “done”. It can never be done! We will be learning and growing into an ever-expanded version of our best self, our whole life. It’s a glorious process of growth. It’s about expansion and about improvement and inspiration. It’s about reaching a little higher, being a little braver, asking for a little more. It’s not about fixing something that’s broken.

You are not broken and anyone who tells you you are is lying. Don’t believe them.

A New Year is simply a convenient time to dust off the cobwebs and assess where we are at with our life’s project. Our work in progress. It’s just a milestone in the journey. A reminder to pause and reflect.

So, this year I am offering you some different kinds of New Year resolutions. Ones that delight you rather than punish you. Goals that draw you forward effortlessly in the energy of growth rather than beating you up in the energy of “not quite good enough”. Principles that lift you up, rather than tear you down for not being smart, thin, fun, rich enough – or whatever.

Because you, you dear reader, are enough.

Make your resolutions something that make your soul sing not fill you with an increasing creeping feeling of dread. Resolve toward what makes you grow, not what you want to fix.

• Resolve to laugh more in 2021.
• Resolve to love more in 2021.
• Resolve to smell the roses more in 2021.
• Resolve to connect more in 2021.
• Resolve to speak kindly to yourself, with love and compassion, in 2021.
• Resolve to strive for progress not for perfection in 2021.
• Resolve to honour your body and soul in 2021.
• Resolve never to stop growing, learning and expanding in 2021.
• Resolve to be all that you can be, the happiest version of yourself in 2021.

That’s what I wish for you. You are not broken. You never were. Embrace the glorious mess of all that you are and the beauty this year is going to unfold at your feet. Happy New Year.

Categories
2020 2021 Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Relationships

It’s the most wonderfully dramatic time of the year!

Let’s talk Christmas Drama!

Christmas can be such a trigger as it thrusts people who are used to having their OWN say and OWN space together into a confined space, add in a heap of OLD dynamics (and alcohol!) and old expectations on behaviour and authority and you can get a really explosive mix!

Social conventions that usually apply between friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues often don’t apply in the same way with family so that restraint of social convention doesn’t hold as much water as it does in other situations where things would just not get said and tongues would temporarily get bitten to keep the peace.

This quote today I think is a really nice way of rising above.

We simply DON’T have to attend every argument we are invited to.

We can let other people play out their thing and choose not to get dragged in. To simply say “I’ve heard you” but then not follow them down the rabbit hole. For the few days of festive celebration, this can be a really liberating approach. Basically what happens is because you withdraw your energy from the complaint/argument it’s like a fire starved of oxygen: it will go out.

You become NO FUN to play that old argument/complaint dance with – and so – that person will go seek it elsewhere.

Remember – it’s YOUR energy and focus – YOU get to decide where it goes. You can decide to fuel the fire or starve it.

You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.

Isn’t that good to know?

Categories
2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Happiness Happy People Don't Do Live Happy Inspiration

The Approval Trap

How to stop caring what other people think

Delightful client I’ll call “Evie”. A gentle sweet soul, making her way through life in a quiet and unassuming way. It turns out Evie is NOT doing a whole heap of things that would make her happy. Joining a choir. Making her own clothes. Taking a trip to Asia. Going for a promotion.

Why? Because she is so, so, very afraid that each choice will not meet with universal approval. What if she misses a note and people laugh? What if people don’t like that quirkily fashioned skirt? What if no one from the tour wants to talk to her in the temples of Thailand? What if she can’t do the new job perfectly and everyone knows it and thinks she shouldn’t have got it?

It paralyses her. And so. And so. She does none of these things.

And life stays small. Her fear of not receiving approval stops her from creating opportunities to make her own heart sing.

She has handed all her power away.

She is not alone.

Before you judge Evie take a look inside. There are way more of us who are closet approval seekers than you might think. The rise of social media and the selfie have fueled a culture of approval seeking. Ever had a little lift in mood as you got more “likes” than you anticipated; ever wondered what was wrong with that status update that it got so few (doesn’t anyone care?)?  Approval seeking comes in many forms, and when we base a piece of our self-worth on it we are in trouble. It means we have handed the power of how we feel about our own self directly into the hands of others. That we are dependent on receiving a certain response from outside ourselves in order to feel good on the inside. That, my friend, is a very dangerous way to live.

Look – we all want to be liked. OF COURSE, WE DO! It’s nice when people say nice things, compliment us, agree with us, support us. It feels awesome.

But it should never take the place of us being our own cheerleader.

The approval of others can add to and enhance our own validation of our choices, but it should never replace it.

The more your choice resonates for you at a deep level, that you approve of it heart and soul you’ll find the less you need someone else to approve.

You cannot, simply cannot put your self-esteem in the hands of other people dependent on whether they approve of your life choices, or their opinion on how funny/pretty/smart/hardworking you are or are not.

Some of these people you want approval from you don’t even like.

Hell, some of these people you don’t even know.

Listen. It’s a big ole world out there. There are a few, if any, choices that are going to meet with universal approval. For anyone. Even if you are…say, Beyonce. Even if you are a multitalented, gorgeous multimillionaire and philanthropist – there will always be someone who doesn’t like Beyonce! But that doesn’t mean Beyonce should stop being Beyonce and doing Beyonce type stuff.

It is not just unrealistic, but actually impossible, to expect “everyone” to approve of you all the time. It’s also something you simply CANNOT control. It’s time to call time on trying. Here’s your magic formula:

If you approve of your choices: that’s an essential ingredient for a happy, fulfilled life.

If other people approve of you / your choices: that’s a nice optional extra.

Other people’s approval is the cherry on top of the cake.

Your approval is the cake itself.

 

Categories
2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love

Are You Too Nice?

What do people mean when they say you are “too nice”?

Do people ever tell you, you are “too nice”.

Maybe at work? Socially? At the school gate? Are you the “nice one” in the family?

What do you think?

Is “too nice” a good thing…or no?

Is it a compliment…or…not?

And what does being “too nice” really mean?

I bet you have never really thought about it…being the helpful soul I am, I am going to short cut it here for you.

But you are not going to like it… (sorry)…

Ready?

I’ll tell you what people mean when they say you are “too nice”.

They mean you are a pushover.

Sorry lovely, but they do.

“Too nice” is NOT a compliment.

It means they can get away with murder.

They mean your boundaries are so permeable that you are picking up the slack for others logistically, emotionally, practically, mentally, way too often.

They mean you get taken advantage of in a subtle but consistent way.

They mean that you usually don’t stand up for what you really need, and defer your priorities behind others way more than is actually good for you.

I hate to say it but “Too Nice” is a code. And it’s code for “Pushover”.

I know, right?!

So – look, I know you ARE a nice person, and you want to be thought of as nice. Totally makes sense, and I support that. So, let me help you do that today.

Firstly, understand that there is a HUGE difference between being a Nice Person, and being “Too Nice”.

What does being a Nice Person mean?

For me it means I am demonstrably thoughtful. Generous. Compassionate. Honest. Trustworthy. Good. I try to do good in my interactions. I know it’s not always possible but that’s the intention.

AND, secondly, I ALSO HAVE BOUNDARIES of what’s ok for me in terms of my time, commitment, finances, emotions, opinions, logistics. Boundaries that I am aware of, have consciously chosen, will voice, and will stand behind if required in a calm, uncomplicated way.

Being Nice is BOTH those things.

I can be a Nice Person AND have Good Boundaries.

However, when we are “Too Nice” we are being Nice at the EXPENSE of our boundaries.

We are making it one OR the other. Niceness OR Boundaries.

Essentially it boils down to: if I am nice then I can’t stand up for what I need. I need to be liked by others more than I need to look after myself and what’s truly ok for me. It’s become an either/or choice. Be nice, OR, have boundaries.

But – it’s actually NOT mutually exclusive.

You CAN Be Nice AND have appropriate boundaries about what you will and won’t accept in your life.

My personal definition of Nice is: “I am a nice person (really nice!)….but, be clear, I won’t allow you to p*ss me about”.  

Nice: good personal qualities + good boundaries.

Too Nice: good personal qualities + low or no boundaries.

Yes, we want to be nice.

But we don’t want to be “too nice”.

You get to define Nice.

I highly encourage you to do it.

Define what it means for you.

Be nIce. Don’t be too nice.

That way, everyone wins.

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