Where do you give the balance of your attention?

Short but important question for you to ask yourself today:

Where do you give the balance of your attention?

It’s an important question to ask of ourselves.

Especially if life isn’t going super well for us right now.

Because whatever we focus on GROWS ?

Focus on the love and opportunity present in your life…you will get more

Focus on the drama and difficulty in your life…more will come join it

This isn’t about ignoring or avoiding reality (you can’t, anyway!)

It’s about looking at where you direct your focus once you have taken care of what you need to.

What you choose to water your mind with is what will grow

Water it with thoughts of your own capability rather than worry

Water it with memories of good times if the now is feeling hard

Water it with lists of your achievements or your loves rather than your fears

Yes this is work – directing our mind IS work ?

Yes this sounds woo-woo. However does that matter if we feel happier?!

Our FOCUS is really important

Direct it to what you want MORE of in your life

What you focus on is what will GROW ?

And I want you to have more of the good stuff!


Waiting for the right time? 

Are you waiting for the right time to…

Run your own business?

Retrain and do what you love?

Have a baby?

Get healthy?

Join the gym?

Run a marathon?

Start juicing?

Leave something or someone who sucks your soul?

Go to that ashram in India?

Are you waiting til…

You have the money?

The kids are older?

The mortgage is paid off?

You’ve lost 10kgs?

You are less busy?

Things are a bit less “full on”?

 ​​​​​​​I’ll let you into a secret!

When it comes to making effective and lasting change in your life on something you really care about

(like your health and happiness, or following your passion)



There is only ever a succession of NOW’s,

NOW is where your POWER lives.

Stop deferring,

Stop stalling,

The RIGHT TIME to start doing the RIGHT THING for yourself is RIGHT NOW.


What’s one  small positive step you can take TODAY?

Take one teeny tiny step forwards in the DIRECTION YOU WANT TO GO,

The DIRECTION is much more important than the SIZE OF THE STEP.


Could you…

Spend 10 minutes researching that training course you fancy?

Make one phone call to someone who could help you?

Put your trainers on and go for a walk, RIGHT NOW, just for TEN minutes?

Make the NEXT meal a healthy one, just the NEXT meal, the NEXT thing you put in your mouth?

Unfollow three “influencers” who make you feel like crap , done done done

Get the juicer out and put it on the kitchen bench

Say no with a polite thank you but no to that outstanding invite/ask

Take 2 minutes to book that yoga class / physio appointment you have been meaning to?

Take a walk with a friend and talk through seriously making that big move to leave your job/partner/situation that you know isn’t serving you?

Spread some sunshine and compliment someone (your teen/ your colleague) for a job well done?


The time is NOW

The DIRECTION is much more important than the SIZE OF THE STEP.

Take one teeny tiny step forwards in the DIRECTION YOU WANT TO GO.

Let me know what step YOU will be taking….


5 Ways to “Give Good No”

S’up? You know life is getting busy when texts get answered with a “K” as an abbreviation to OK (really? We are abbreviating our most abbreviated abbreviations now?)

We are undeniably more connected to more people and more opportunities than at any other time in history. Which means there sure is a hella lot to say yes to. Which is awesome! Unless of course, it becomes totally overwhelming.

Have you noticed the creeping tide of late of late no-shows, or “sorry can’t make it”s sent on the night? Super involved detailed explanations to get out of things late in the piece? More yeah! (but ultimately nah)’s than in yesteryear? I don’t think you are imagining it.

Many people are biting off more yeses than they can chew and then either becoming a frazzled, exhausted hot mess, or perpetually bailing at the last minute.

Overwhelm and exhaustion are not good, neither is messing other peoples time/heart/energy/attention around by giving a yeah when you really mean nah. The first disrespects you, and the second disrespects someone else.

Far better to own your no from the outset so other people know where they and their diary stand right and you can honour the needs of your own body to rest and recharge. They are often a whole lot less bothered than you think they will be and will more often than not welcome the early clarity.

So, if your life if creaking under the weight of obligation, and you are continually saying yes when you actually mean “not on your Nellie” here’s 5 ways to gracefully decline and Give Good No:

1. “I am almost 100% sure that I have something else on that day/time, I just can’t think what it is til I check my diary but I’m sure there’s something important. Tell you what, take me as a definite no, and if I can I’ll let you know”. I call this the “98% No”. It’s a firm no so they know where they stand, but it does leave the door slightly ajar if you change your mind, with the added bonus that they will be thrilled at your unexpected bonus presence.

2. “I don’t make plans on Sundays” – is a bold choice and not for the faint of heart. It’s a definitive no alright, and it keeps the choice with you rather than being a reflection on the invite or inviter, in the same way that you would say “I don’t eat meat/kite-surf/like Kim Kardashian”. It’s a strong and definitive no.

3. “Sorry, I’ve already got plans.” Notice how the plans are vague, and not shared. It’s a nice soft delivery, but with what is actually a very firm no. You are under no obligation to share or justify your plans: your time, your priorities, your decision.

4. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t on this occasion. Have you spoken to Bob?” It’s respectful, it’s definitive and it also hands it off, with the added bonus that you are being solution focused and helpful. Nicely played.

5. “Honestly, I’m just maxed out/exhausted/overwhelmed right now, sorry but I’m not going to be able to make it. I know you will understand. Have a great time!” Authentic, and shows not just vulnerability BUT also that you are exercising great boundaries and self care. If you ask directly for understanding, you will pretty much always be rewarded with it.

Of course, saying no confidently and owning your no is a way of getting really clear about your priorities and where they really lie. No bad thing at all.

Do your words match your true priorities? Get them lined up, master the social no and invest your time and energy where it counts. K?

2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Uncategorized

Kidding Yourself On The Comfort Zone

When is a Comfort Zone not a Comfort Zone, at all?

Sometimes it’s time for change and – however exciting and freeing that feeling is – when you get the offer of the new role, now job, new training, new industry – as one of my favourite sparklicious clients did below – however right it is for you to make a change – that change is still going to come with a dose of fear or anxiety  – even if it’s TOTALLY for your highest good. 


This women I adore told me she was considering staying put rather then taking the new role she was excited by in a very cool company and industry, because at least her old role was in her Comfort Zone.


Comfort Zone, eh? That old chestnut!


Here’s the thing:


She had been wrestling with an unrealistically high and sustained super pressured workload, an entirely unsympathetic boss, continual restructures,  working kerazeee hours that involved pretty much most weekends, persistent undermining from colleagues and various other challenging elements – every single day – for YEEEEEARS.

Honestly – how “comfortable” does that actually sound?!


Here’s the thing:



Just because you know one toxic environment really well does not make it a “comfort zone”. 

It’s just a zone that’s bad for you that you are really familiar with coping with and battling with. 


That sure as &%$(&% is not a definition of comfort in my book.


Don’t kid yourself, people.


Be brave.


Don’t support toxic employers with your presence and your graft.


Make a change that supports your health, happiness, and your life.


Don’t confuse comfort with familiarity. 


When is a Comfort Zone not a Comfort Zone?




Choose accordingly.


Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Uncategorized

Perfect 10

Hands up if you are a bit of a perfectionist?

Thought so.

Hands up if you also feel overwhelmed quite a lot.


Stressed out?


Here’s the thing about perfectionism.

We wear it like a badge of honour. Like it’s a thing that’s bad about us… but is actually – secretly – good. It’s the stock answer to the classic interview question “What are your greatest weaknesses?” question. “I’m a bit of a perfectionist!”, pretty much every candidate will trill triumphantly. It’s the traditional negative turned into a positive response, so common in fact that I wonder how many people who say it are indeed perfectionists? Maybe it’s just the perfect answer to that question? Perfectionism – the perfect double-edged sword.

It can be a useful quality, no doubt about that. If I am having surgery, I want that surgeon to exercising her perfectionist qualities at that moment, yessiree. High risk. High stakes. Excellent time to pull out the perfectionist tendency. Do it.

Making a regular weeknight dinner? Not so necessary. Low stakes, medium to low reward. Good enough here is…well…perfectly good enough.

This is the key when dealing with your own perfectionism: exercising The Lost Art Of Discernment. Treating perfectionism like a special sauce and being discerning about when you apply it. It doesn’t have to be like the kid going through the phase where they put tomato ketchup on everything. The fush and chups. The mac and cheese. The roast dinner. There are some things you just don’t need to put ketchup on, and they have not yet figured out how to be discerning. Perfectionism – think of it like mental ketchup. The perfect compliment to some life situations, and ultimately a completely unnecessary addition to others.

Look at the risk and reward – then discern how much of your perfectionist special sauce needs applying. Don’t assume you need to apply it liberally to everything by default.

Sometimes good enough really is good enough.

Applying perfectionism, as your Modus Operandi blanket strategy across all situations presented to you in life, is one of the fastest routes to feeling stressed, overwhelmed, irritable and burned-out there is. It’s like a one-way ticket to “Overwhelmsville”. And it’s not fun to live there. Sure, it’s perfectly neat and organised, but it’s not very fun, and the To Do list is never-ending.

Most of the time Done really is better than Perfect.

As a general rule, the world doesn’t reward perfectionists. It rewards people who get stuff done.

Most of the time Done will trump Perfect.

That way you fast track out of overwhelming, get more done, and you still get to maximise that quality when it really counts.

Save your Perfect ketchup for the times it really counts.

Dream and Goals High Energy Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Uncategorized

5 Crucial Things You Need To Know About Life Envy

I had a smart and successful client use a fabulous phrase with me last week during our Happiness Hacking™ coaching session. We were discussing the downer she had got on at the weekend seeing perfect families out walking with their perfect children, which felt super painful because she is currently single. All totally understandable. It’s like rubbing salt into the wound when you see people effortlessly living that which seems so elusive to you.

It’s often the way, isn’t it? If we are single, all we see are perfect couples walking along hand in hand. Every Cafe is overrun with them. If we are trying to conceive and struggling, then the world seems to be full of women sporting baby bumps at every turn, and every other Facebook photo is of someone else’s child. If our job is less than stellar or our business is struggling then all of a sudden the world seems filled with people making great money doing what they love when we can’t even work out what our passion is, let alone earn a living doing it!

Any of that sound familiar?!

My client said she was suffering from a severe case of “Life Envy”, and I think that’s something that most of us can relate to.

Here’s what you a) need to know about Life envy, and b) need to do about it.

1. Life Envy can be POSITIVE. It can be an awesome force for good in that it can help you identify what you want in your life. That clarity is great. Once the goal is set, however, its purpose is done. You don’t need the Life Envy anymore; you just need to get busy making that goal a happening thing rather than dwell on what you don’t have.

2. While you’re envious of that person’s life or let’s be very clear, WHAT YOU IMAGINE THAT PERSON’S LIFE TO BE (which might be a whole different thing), there are people out there that are envious of YOU! Maybe you have a beautiful home. Or a fantastic ass. Or hell, maybe you got a straight 8-hours sleep last night. If you can focus on the GOOD STUFF you already have going in your life, then the Life Envy will drop away. Look at YOUR OWN LIFE and figure out what might inspire some Life Envy in others and give thanks for that shizzle right now.

3. One of my favourite poems of all time is “Desiderata” written in 1927 by American writer Max Ehrmann. One of its most beautiful lines is:

“If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter, for always
there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

Ain’t that the truth? There will always be people to whom you come off better in your perception, and some worse. Once you have a goal identified it really is best to drop the Life Envy. Who wants to be vain or bitter, right? It’s a game you can never really win.

4. Perspective Shifter. Next time a bit of Life Envy pops up – which is ALWAYS about a perceived LACK in our own life – have a think about what a Syrian Refugee would think of your life. Would they swap in a heartbeat? For sure. What about some of the poorer countries you have visited, what would the waitress in Fiji who brought you your long island iced tea think of all that you DO have? Feel the perceived lack start to recede.

5. Then get busy turning the energy of Life Envy around. Turn it into a positive energy in your own life. How? By instead of seeing every example of the LACK in your life demonstrated by the couple/baby/job/size 10 jeans/beachfront bach/whatever you have your heart set on – see it as EVIDENCE of the ABUNDANCE of the thing that you want, and BLESS IT.

Yep, we are talking a 360-degree turnaround in energy here. APPLAUD people for having the thing you want because it shows it’s possible. CELEBRATE them having that fantastic thing because you know how precious or important or glorious it is, and take it as evidence of its achievability. Bless them. Congratulate them. Applaud them. (In your own head doll, not out loud, you don’t have to look like a nutter.) Start saying “that’s so wonderful, what a happy looking family”. Or “she is blooming, good for you sweetie, I hope you are feeling well and getting lots of rest”. Or “I am so happy for you enjoying that fabulous bach, enjoy every moment of summer fun, just shows anything is possible”. “Go you, getting out running, you look amazing!”

Can you see what a massive energy shift that is? To come from a place of praise, celebration and abundance rather than envy and lack? It feels SO much better, and can almost be like a little mental game to play with yourself. If you watch closely, you might find that “Life Envy” has become your default setting in your brain.

If you can routinely take other people’s circumstances as EVIDENCE OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THOSE POSSIBILITIES: (“Couples everywhere! That’s such a great thing to see, it shows that there’s someone for everyone!), rather than as evidence of lack, then you are well on your way to creating the space to attract exactly what your heart desires into your life. The more you celebrate what is going on with others, the more you will have to celebrate in your own life.

Works like a charm every time.

Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Positive Thought Strategy Uncategorized

What were my top 5 blog posts of 2016?

Here is a round-up of my top 5 blog posts of 2016 – as voted by YOU! Did your favourite make the cut?

#5 Super Simple 3 Step Process To Make Sure You Have Your Best Year Yet

There are 3 steps to keep you aligned and on purpose this year. It’s easy, and it’s powerful. When you consciously bring yourself back to the themes you set for the year with each choice you make – your best year will unfold almost effortlessly.

#4 My instant mood booster trick

Want to know a magic trick where you can instantly change your mood and motivation just by changing one letter that you habitually use? Of course, you do. Who doesn’t want to feel more enthused and less resentful, to procrastinate less and do more?

#3 One simple tool for a stress-free day

Do you ever wake up and feel like you are behind before you have even started your day? Yep? All the time right?! Talk about setting ourselves up for a day of stress. If you are feeling behind before you even start your day – WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT TO GET DONE WITH A TIME ESTIMATE NEXT TO IT, and then prioritise accordingly

#2 All about the money honey series

Undoubtedly, one of the biggest stressors that can keep us from enjoying a happy life is mmmmmoney. And money – as well as being about cold hard cash – is actually just as much about emotion and energy as the bank balance. We have an ongoing emotional response to money, so understanding our emotional money patterns is a supremely powerful way of resolving uncomfortable money situations and setting ourselves up to create a future that feels financially safe and abundant.

And #1 The number one question to ask when something doesn’t feel right

You know that feeling, that nagging feeling that something is a little…off. It might be the job. Or the relationship. Or a friendship. Or a family thing. But you have an underlying feeling of… unease.

We have all felt it from time to time. That “something’s not quite right here” feeling. That “I just can’t put my finger on it” feeling. Living with that feeling day after day can become debilitating. That nagging feeling that something is not as it should be.

Paying attention to that feeling is really important.


Emotional Honesty High Energy Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Uncategorized

My Instant Mood Booster Trick

Want to know a magic trick where you can instantly change your mood and motivation just by changing one letter that you habitually use? Of course, you do. Who doesn’t want to feel more enthused and less resentful, to procrastinate less and do more?

Okay, so it’s this. What have you GOT to do today? Finish that report? Do the washing? Pick the kids up from school? Go for a run? Make dinner for 5? Take the car for a service? Grocery shop? Review the budgets? Answer your email?

Each day is packed with so much stuff that we just have to get done. There is a great pithy quote that sums this up to perfection “Life is just one damned thing after another” (variously attributed to many, including Winston Churchill and Elbert Hubbard). And some days it sure can feel like that. A hamster wheel of getting from one thing to the next, to the next. There are so many things to get done, it never stops. No wonder we can get resentful and some days can seem like a grind.

And if that’s just modern life, just reality, how can we change that?

Well, we can shift our perspective instantly through changing the language that we wrap our experiences in. Words are the magic emotion carriers that define our experiences. Read these out loud to yourself to see if you can feel the change in your emotional response:

I’ve GOT to pick the kids up from school today


I GET to pick the kids up from school today

Different, right? The first sentence we can feel resentful, rushed, harried. The second evokes gratitude, luck, happiness. After all, many people would give anything in the world to go pick their child up from school. Perhaps their children are grown. Or they are doing a week about and don’t get to see them for another six days. Or they have lost some pregnancies and would give anything to go hold a little one’s hand and pick up a piece of appealing potato cut “artwork”. So, I get to pick the kids up from school today? The experience becomes infused with a whole different emotional response.

Try this:

I’ve GOT to answer my email.

I GET to answer my email.

Trickier example maybe, but the same principle applies. The first is filled with frustration and pressure, the second with purpose and resolve. Having email means we have a job! There is work to be done, and we are financially compensated for it. Our opinion or service or expertise is being sought in some way. A complete absence of email these days is an indication of no work, no job. So, I get to answer my email. Great! Let’s get on with it.

Change your mood and motivation just by changing one letterWe know the language we use with others is tremendously powerful. We are aware that some well-chosen words can heal or transform a situation in a moment. We also know that some words once spoken can rip a life apart in an instant such that it will never be the same again. Our words have tremendous power – and we are hyper-conscious of that in our interactions with others. In our interactions with others, we select them with care.

Here’s the thing. The words you habitually use with YOURSELF are even more powerful. If your internal dialogue is full of “I’ve got to” and “I have to”, you’re going to feel trapped, resentful and frustrated. Often. It’s disempowered language. It denies the reality of the choice you have in your life.

Empowered language such as a simple switch to “I get to….” will profoundly affect how you move through your day.

This morning I felt the pressure of a deadline looming, a blog post I’ve got to write for you. That’s not the most inspirational place for me to approach what is an opportunity I feel profoundly grateful to have each week. I get to talk to you, about what’s on my mind, and hopefully uplift, inspire or give you something meaningful to ponder. I get to do this on my own blog. How cool!

And yes, the deadline does seem to come round with a cunning regularity that seems more frequent than the weekly that it is! However, I haven’t GOT to do this; I GET to do this. I get to write for you every single week. How lucky am I. It’s a pleasure and never a chore that I get to do that – heartfelt thanks from me today to you, dear reader, for reading and making this a part of your week and a part of what I get to do for a living.

Action Step: What have you got to do today that you feel frustrated or resentful about? Change your language about getting to do it instead, and feel your mood and motivation rise.

Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Uncategorized

Week #4: Get whatever you want without breaking the bank

How do you FEEL about money, honey? This is a FEELING question, not a DOLLAR AMOUNT QUESTION.

The answer should give you some insight about your dominant emotion round money.

Maybe you feel uneasy. Worried. Happy. Joyful. Secure. Unsafe. Elated. Maybe all of those things at different times.

Here’s the thing: we never want money for money.


We want money for the feeling state we think it will bring.

Because here’s the thing. Money itself is just a socially convenient form of energy exchange. A guy (or gal!) uses his energy and time to fix our car; we exchange that energy in the form of dollar bills. We go to work, and give time and energy to a job; we take fair exchange in the form of dollars in the bank on a monthly basis.

We give money so much emotional power. All it comes down to is that it’s a social convenient way of exchanging energy between humans. Nevertheless – we give it the power to make us feel Safe. Elated. Broken. Fearful. Joyous.


All we want when we want more money is how that money will make us feel.


We want more money to overpay the mortgage because it WILL MAKE US FEEL SECURE.

We want money to buy those fabulous shoes because IT WILL MAKE US FEEL ATTRACTIVE.

We want the money to buy a couple of lattes and a muffin to share with a friend because IT WILL MAKE US FEEL CONNECTED.

It’s NEVER about the money itself. It’s ALWAYS about how you think that thing or experience the money will get you will make you FEEL.

That’s what we are really after.

So when you are setting some money goals – for maximum satisfaction – think about the way you want that purchase to make you feel. And – if you are saving or on a budget – and let’s face it who isn’t? – check out the Westpac #CashNav App for handy ways to help you do that super easily on your phone – because the thing you want that you think you can’t afford, well… maybe you can. Just take it back to the feeling state you are trying to create.

Say you want to go to Europe on a family holiday to feel connected and relaxed and have an awesome adventure. But you can’t afford it right now.

Don’t be sad.

Have adventures close to homeRealise that what you are really seeking is feeling connected + relaxed + adventure. Then be creative with your money – what can you put into your life that DOES fit with the budget that would make you feel those things? Maybe a family weekend camping somewhere brand new in this beautiful country of ours hits connected + relaxed + adventure, but without finance pressure.

Or maybe you can get that feeling of connected + fun + adventure by signing up for a boot camp or a trail run series. We can take our emotional power back from money anytime we choose by defining the emotional state we are trying to create and then looking at ways that work for us and the money situation we have.

Westpac’s new #CashNav app makes it super easy to track the flow of your money at a glance as it’s on your phone and it’s an instant update of the flow of your money. It automatically breaks down how much is being spent on eating out, entertainment, utilities and so on, and tells you if you spend above or below average so you can see if you are on track for the month. It makes it really easy to budget and monitor the progress towards (or away from!) the goal you have in mind.

Money is a happiness enabler for sure. But it only has the power we give to it. If you start thinking of the emotional state you are seeking first and build that into your budgeting plans it’s a shortcut to feeling good about money faster than you imagined.

Money can make us feel almost anything… Uneasy. Worried. Happy. Joyful. Secure. Unsafe. Abundant. Hopeful. Excited.

But when we let the dollars define our emotions it can be really disempowering as we are at the mercy of the numbers. It’s a far more empowering way to live to decide what we want to feel FIRST – and then create our expectations and budget around that.

If you want to feel RELAXED about your money – what do you need to prioritise and how could you budget to feel that way?

If you want to feel SECURE about money –what do you need to prioritise and how could you budget to feel that way?

If you want to feel JOYFUL about your money –what do you need to prioritise and how could you budget to feel that way?

If you put the horse before the cart, you get to decide how you feel about your money, not the other way round.

This was the last article in the 4 part “All About The Money, Honey” series brought to you courtesy of my friends at Westpac (check out their new #CashNav app for smart budgeting on your phone). All tools, tricks, tips and opinions, as ever, are 100% my own. Thank you so much for all the feedback on the series, I am so happy you found it useful and it got you thinking. I will definitely be writing more about the relationship between happiness and money in future!

You can read the other articles in the series right here.

Week 1 – “All About The Money, Honey!” Money Series
Week 2 – Looking Money In The Eye. Getting honest about your REAL money habits.
Week 3 – Why your Diet is like your Money Habits – and how to overcome self-sabotage
Week 4 – If you think you can’t afford it, how to get what you want without breaking the bank


Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Uncategorized

Week #3: Why your Diet is like your Money Habit

Have you ever been on a bootcamp or been to a personal trainer in a quest to lose weight, signed up and been told to do a Food Diary? To write down a brutally honest account of every single item you put in your mouth over a two-week period (sometimes longer). Yes, the super healthy quinoa salad you throw together on Day #1 counts – YES! The virtuous double decaf macchiato rather than the latte – totally counts. BOOM! The brownie you turned down and didn’t eat even though you wanted it on Day #2? You get to NOT write that down – awesome!

The thing is, as the days creep on we find that…yes, the leftover fishfinger you scoffed on your kid’s plate, that counts. The morning-tea-for-someone’s-birthday-oh-I-shouldn’t-but-as-it’s-your-birthday-slice-of-cake-just-a-small-one-go-on-then. That counts. The 3rd glass of, but-it’s-a-special-occasion-I-don’t-usually-do-this-vino. That counts too.

And so…brutal honesty…starts to feel seriously overrated – and it’s very tempting to cheat on the ole food diary! If we don’t write it down it doesn’t count – right? Thing is…even if we do cheat on the food diary…IT TOTALLY DOESN’T MATTER.


Because, our body is a living, breathing, walking around 24/7 food diary!

It doesn’t miss a thing. It doesn’t forget a single item consumed. Our body is a completely unavoidably 100% accurate reflection of our true relationship and choices with food. Our body literally IS a food diary.

In order to have a healthier relationship with food and stop the endless yoyo dieting and live in our healthiest and happiest body, there is no point on cheating the food diary. It’s actually a pretty useful tool as a short-term way of shining a light on the reality of our food habits. What we do consistently is what counts, and being able to see the usually unconscious patterns that sabotage our health and weight goals is both illuminating and empowering if we are brave enough to look.

When we know what those habitual slip-ups are we can do something about them and make different choices. To keep healthy snacks in the car, or commit to booze-free nights Monday to Thursday or whatever it might be. We cannot fool our body, our body knows every single thing we ingest – including the inadvertently self-sabotaging stuff we haven’t realised we are doing. Getting a handle on that is a smart way to take back power and move confidently towards the body, weight and fitness level we want.

The same principle applies to our money situation. It’s another area of life where we are really, really adept at fooling ourselves about the reality of our habits. Our spending patterns can often be wildly different to what we imagine them to be – and so it comes as a real shock when there is too much month left at the end of our money…again. How can that be?!

The thing is – our bank account is like our body. It counts everything, whether it’s a purchase we are making with clarity and intention, or if it’s a self sabotaging habit we haven’t yet kicked to the curb.

It counts the mortgage. The WOF payment. The school uniforms. The vet bills. It also counts our 32nd latte of the month. The it’s-an-investment-piece-seriously-it’s-a-classic-little-black-dress. The premium grade olives direct from Tuscany. And the online bikini shopping habit. And that stationery that was just too cute to leave behind.

Our bank account is exactly like our body – it counts everything.

And to get the financial outcome we want (like getting the body as fit and healthy as we want), seeing the patterns of our spending is as useful and illuminating as seeing the patterns of our eating. Seeing which are supporting our aspirations (saving for a house or holiday perhaps) and which might be self-sabotaging (the treat-myself-on-Fridays-because-I-hate-my-job-so-much-new-shoes, and the huge pile of craft supplies that get bought but not used).

IMG_1343This is why I like the new Westpac #CashNav app – it is like a food diary for your money. I love that it breaks down my spending by category – utilities, entertainment, shopping and so on – so I can uncover my money habits really easily. The ones that I know about, and the ones that I prefer to ignore!

It’s good to see so many money habits that are really supportive of the money goals I have – pay the mortgage on time for example! Pay the insurance, Kiwisaver and so on. It’s also been great to find a few self sabotaging habits that are a little like the sneaky chocolate brownie when no one is watching – that needed a little bit of a clean up.

So simple to do when it’s all laid out on my phone in #CashNav. That miss-nothing clarity and accuracy is incredibly enlightening.

Here’s the other thing I want to say on the parallel between money and food habits. Food is meant to be enjoyed. Money is also meant to be enjoyed! Diets should never be taken to an extreme or obsessive level, and neither should money. Money is there to enable our lives, to make them secure, fun and expansive. All work and no play makes Jack a dull buy and Jill a dull girl.

Same with food, all quinoa and chia and never a beautiful fush and chups on the beach would not be living. The same for relishing a beautiful Pinot Noir. The key to that is consciously chosen and cherished e
njoyment, not mindless, unconscious eating in front of the TV when you don’t even taste it. It’s consciously eating and extracting all the pleasure!

The same with money. It can’t all be rules and long term plans – leave a little in the budget for some short-term fun and enjoyment. Sometimes those shoes just have to be had! And that coffee with a friend is the best way you could ever spend ten bucks. Just uncover your patterns first so you can take the empowered route to embrace them from a place of conscious choice not unconscious sabotage.

This 4-part “All About The Money, Honey” series is brought to you courtesy of my friends at Westpac (check out their new #CashNav app) – all views, opinions, tools, tricks and tips are, as always, 100% my own.

If you are interested in working on the emotional, mental and physical blocks that sabotage you from having the health and body you want – get on the waitlist for my group coaching programme ~Wellbeing Warriors~ right here.


You can read the other articles in the series right here.

Week 1 – “All About The Money, Honey!” Money Series
Week 2 – Looking Money In The Eye. Getting honest about your REAL money habits.
Week 3 – Why your Diet is like your Money Habits – and how to overcome self-sabotage
Week 4 – If you think you can’t afford it, how to get what you want without breaking the bank


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