Category: Love the Skin You’re In

It’s time to let perfectionism go for the mirage it is.

Post author By Support Elf
Post date October 30, 2022
No Comments on It’s time to let perfectionism go for the mirage it is.

I have come across a beautiful and timeless Japanese art called “kintsukuroi”, which is the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold.

Cracked and shattered items are lovingly pieced back together and the cracks flooded with liquid gold.

The piece is no longer perfect, but its repair is proudly on view in precious metal, integral to its new form, which only serves to make the piece more beautiful – not despite its breaks, but because of them.

The deeper meaning of this art is to consider: what if we saw ourselves the same way?

We all go through astonishing heartbreak and life explosions, from which we will never be quite the same.

There will be wounds, and we might try to hide them … but they are there.

We might think we are no longer as good, worthy, or tarnished in some way once the storms of life hit and we are no longer box-fresh perfect.

But what if we believed that we were not just okay because we have had a few breaks along the way…but that we are more beautiful because of it?

That our beauty actually lies within our imperfection and our transcendence of life’s slings and arrows?

That our uniqueness, flaws, scars, idiosyncrasies, are an integral part of the fabric that makes us imperfectly perfect?

That our survival and our ability to prevail in the case of hardship adds depth and richness?

This is life.

Not one of us gets out without getting a bit battered along the way, as well as screwing up royally a few times ourselves too.

No one, anywhere, at any time, has lived a perfect life.

Maybe it’s time to let perfectionism go for the mirage it is.

We are all good people; doing the best we can, with what we have, and what we know.

And you know what – that’s perfectly good enough right there.

What say you? Ready to relinquish the mirage of perfection for a little kintsukuroi? To fill our scars with liquid gold? To celebrate their beauty because we survived?

We are all worthy, not just despite the breaks we have experienced, but because of them.

P.S. Three ways we can work together:

Book: Start using the 16 easy-to-implement mental and emotional health tips from my newest (super pretty, super effective) book, 101 Self Care Ideas.

Course: Dive into this short course and get your mind on what matters most…feel different inside and out in just 2 weeks, 14 Day Real Self-Care Kickstart.

Academy: Want to waitlist for The Coaching Academy for 2023? Your best self awaits. Jump on the list here.

Tags 2022, challenging beliefs, self care, self care sunday

2020 2021 Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body New Year

Why You Don’t Need A ‘New You’

Post author By Support Elf
Post date December 28, 2020
No Comments on Why You Don’t Need A ‘New You’

“Happy New Year! Happy New You!” How many headlines will you see screaming that this month? Too many to count, I suspect.

I am going to be really subversive here (I know, I’m such a rebel) and kick off the New Year with a directly contradictory premise: You don’t need a “New You”.

The “You” you are is absolutely perfect in your imperfection. Anyone who tells you you are broken in some way is undermining your personal sovereignty. Especially anyone who tells you you are broken in order to sell something.

You are not broken! You are whole and complete.

Life and self-improvement is a PROCESS. A process means it’s ongoing. It doesn’t end until you do. It is never complete. Life is always in a state of beautiful incompletion.

We are all works in progress. For the whole of our lives. It is never “done”. It can never be done! We will be learning and growing into an ever-expanded version of our best self, our whole life. It’s a glorious process of growth. It’s about expansion and about improvement and inspiration. It’s about reaching a little higher, being a little braver, asking for a little more. It’s not about fixing something that’s broken.

You are not broken and anyone who tells you you are is lying. Don’t believe them.

A New Year is simply a convenient time to dust off the cobwebs and assess where we are at with our life’s project. Our work in progress. It’s just a milestone in the journey. A reminder to pause and reflect.

So, this year I am offering you some different kinds of New Year resolutions. Ones that delight you rather than punish you. Goals that draw you forward effortlessly in the energy of growth rather than beating you up in the energy of “not quite good enough”. Principles that lift you up, rather than tear you down for not being smart, thin, fun, rich enough – or whatever.

Because you, you dear reader, are enough.

Make your resolutions something that make your soul sing not fill you with an increasing creeping feeling of dread. Resolve toward what makes you grow, not what you want to fix.

• Resolve to laugh more in 2021.
• Resolve to love more in 2021.
• Resolve to smell the roses more in 2021.
• Resolve to connect more in 2021.
• Resolve to speak kindly to yourself, with love and compassion, in 2021.
• Resolve to strive for progress not for perfection in 2021.
• Resolve to honour your body and soul in 2021.
• Resolve never to stop growing, learning and expanding in 2021.
• Resolve to be all that you can be, the happiest version of yourself in 2021.

That’s what I wish for you. You are not broken. You never were. Embrace the glorious mess of all that you are and the beauty this year is going to unfold at your feet. Happy New Year.

Tags 2021, flexible thinking, Happiness, New Years Resolutions

2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Love the Skin You're In Love your body Love Your Work Positive Thought Strategy

Past Perfect

If you never feel quite good enough it’s likely that you are a bit of a perfectionist. Perfectionism is the ultimate double-edged sword: yes, it might propel us forward towards our goals BUT it is also the cause of a huge amount of stress, pressure, sleepless nights, procrastination, quitting, and generally diminished wellbeing.

Perfectionism sounds like it’s a good thing…but…on closer inspection… there is a big difference between being a balanced and happy high achiever, and a perfectionist. Your body, health, and happiness will really thank you for getting super clear on the difference.

Here’s the thing: Perfection is a mirage. It’s a standard you can never reach consistently.

It feels like…

Life will be PERFECT when you get that promotion…and then you get it…but then…it’s not perfect YET, because you could do it better, or faster, or more efficiently. So…the goalposts move.

Or Life will be PERFECT when you lose those 5kgs. And you lose them! BUT…you still don’t feel perfect YET because your bum is not perky enough / arms not toned enough / just another few kilos before you are “there”. The goalposts of perfect move…MIRAGE.

Or Life will be PERFECT and easy when the kids are old enough to go to school…but then…they are and they do…but it won’t be perfect UNTIL they are really settled…and then they settle but it won’t be perfect til they…etc etc. The goalposts of perfect move…MIRAGE.

If we could see life just as a series of moves that EXPAND US, IMPERFECTLY, in a forwards motion…rather than trying to reach perfection but never getting there either at all (or for more than 25 seconds) it would be a MUCH more realistic and relaxed way to live.

Where in your life is perfect a mirage you can never really reach?

The quest for Inbox Zero?
The nirvana of an empty washing basket and a tidy house?

List a mirage today.

Then let yourself off the hook.

You will never reach it, consistently, and that’s okay!

You can give yourself permission to know life is unfolding just fine as it is: a work in progress in a state of imperfect but constant expansion.

Tags challenging beliefs, Reduce Stress

2020 Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In New Year Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Self Care and Self Love

Why you DON’T need a “New You” this New Year!

Post author By Support Elf
Post date December 31, 2019
No Comments on Why you DON’T need a “New You” this New Year!

“Happy New Year! Happy New You!”

How many headlines will you see screaming that this month? Too many to count, I suspect – and I also suspect another level of “New You” hysteria given its the turn not just of the year – but of the decade. It’s going to be “New You”- tastic out there!

Here is my direct take on that noise:

Contrary to a million headlines of “wisdom” – YOU DO NOT NEED A “NEW YOU”.

You are not broken! You, my darling, are whole and complete.

Life and self-improvement is a PROCESS. A process means it’s ongoing. It doesn’t end until you do. It is never complete.

Life is always in a state of beautiful incompletion.

We are all works in progress. For the whole of our lives.

It is never “done”. It can never be done!

We will be learning and growing into an ever-expanded version of our best self, our whole life. It’s a glorious process of growth.

It’s about expansion and about improvement and inspiration.

It’s about reaching a little higher, being a little braver, asking for a little more. It’s not about fixing something that’s broken.

You are not broken and anyone who tells you you are is lying. Don’t believe them!

A New Year is simply a convenient time to dust off the cobwebs and assess where we are at with our life’s project.

Our work in progress. It’s just a milestone in the journey. A reminder to pause and reflect.

So, this year I am offering you some different kinds of New Year resolutions.

Ones that delight you rather than punish you.

Goals that draw you forward effortlessly in the energy of growth rather than beating you up in the energy of “not quite good enough”.

Principles that lift you up, rather than tear you down for not being smart, thin, fun, rich enough – or whatever.

Because you, you dear reader, are enough.

Make your resolutions something that makes your soul sing not fill you with an increasing creeping feeling of dread.

Resolve toward what makes you grow, not what you want to fix.

• Resolve to laugh more in 2020
• Resolve to love more in 2020.
• Resolve to smell the roses more in 2020.
• Resolve to connect more in 2020.
• Resolve to speak kindly to yourself, with love and compassion, in 2020.
• Resolve to strive for progress not for perfection in 2020.
• Resolve to honour your body and soul in 2020.
• Resolve never to stop growing, learning and expanding in 2020.
• Resolve to be all that you can be, the happiest version of yourself in 2020.

That’s what I wish for you. You are not broken. You never were.

Embrace the glorious mess of all that you are and the beauty this year is going to unfold at your feet.

Happy New Year.

Tags 2019, 2020, achievement, being present, challenging beliefs, flexible thinking, Happiness, success

4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love Summer

How to REALLY get a “Beach Body”…

Post author By Support Elf
Post date November 26, 2019
No Comments on How to REALLY get a “Beach Body”…

There is an excellent meme that continues to circle about this time of year, year after year, about how to “Get a Beach Body”. It goes like this:

Have a Body
Go to the Beach

Which is all well and good of course, and jolly funny, unless we are secretly having a massive crisis of confidence about our body and we just want to hide inside as the sun comes out.

Improving body image is huge huge huge: and something that is dear to my heart in my coaching Academy. Having women work through the 30-day Self Esteem course and say they have worn a swimsuit or bikini to the beach for the first time in a decade and felt good in their own skin is the most rewarding work in the world. It absolutely thrills me to see that transformation in confidence and happiness.

Everyone deserves to feel at home in their body: it is the only place we have to live so any energy spent hating it rather than loving it is time and energy wasted.

Obviously I can’t replicate a 30-day course of personal growth and transformation in the next 176 words (do waitlist for the Academy if you want the real deal, you can do that here: https://iamawellbeingwarrior.com/wellbeing-warriors/) but I will say if you start focusing on these things it will definitely help.

Do what YOU need to do to feel more confident NOW.

Not when you get to that magical weight or whatever.

What makes you feel even a smidge more confident – right NOW NOW NOW?

That gorgeous kaftan? Get it.

A pedicure so your feet look bright and beautiful when you see them? Do it.

Stop waiting.

Move towards confidence now.

If you can’t yet love (or even like) your body for how it looks, love your body for what it can DO.

It can, and does, do so much for you.

Concentrate on your capabilities, not your aesthetics.

Celebrate them.

Be proud of them.

And build on them.

Stop focusing on what you are trying to GET from your body, and look at what you are GIVING it instead.

Stop trying to GET a result (thinner / lighter / tighter /younger / etc) and look at what you can consistently GIVE instead as a service.

Give your body kind words.

Give it fresh food.

Give it a walk around the park or a run or a swim in the ocean in the sun.

Revel in what you can give.

Take your body to the beach, feel the sand between your toes and the sun on your skin and enjoy all summer has to offer.

That link for my Academy is below – I can’t tell you how much it will make you feel good on the inside: I believe every woman deserves that: summertime or not!

Tags 2019, 2020, beach body, flexible thinking, summer, weight loss

Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love Summer time

Refresh Your Health Goals

Post author By Support Elf
Post date November 6, 2019
No Comments on Refresh Your Health Goals

Last week we looked at adding a generous dollop of planning along with the sunscreen to make for an optimum summer.

This week your mission is to use this summer on ramp time to refresh your health goals.

In winter we hibernate and hunker down, it’s a natural process both biologically and psychologically driven by the season. We tend to withdraw a bit socially, eat a bit too much comfort food and wear waaaaay too much black.

Feeling the sun’s rays on our skin once again brings a natural inclination to look at our body and how we are treating it.

It’s an inspiration beneficial to harness and so this week dedicate a little time to refreshing your health goals for summer.

What’s great about your health and wellbeing right now? What’s going well?

2. What healthy habits do you have already on lock, that you are committed to continuing even when it’s the crazy busy few weeks before Christmas and the weather is amazing and you have been invited to 4 BBQ’s? What’s non-negotiable for you?

3. Which aspects of your health are not where you want them to be right now?

4. Which one or two of these bother you enough that you are committed to taking action about them? (If it’s a long list, that’s fine, just pick the one/two that bothers you MOST and address that with focus and commitment, don’t try and do everything).

5. What are you going to do differently to address them?

6. What do you need to decide about your time and resources to make the change you desire happen?

7. Do you need to ask right now for any additional support or resources to make that happen? (Babysitter? New trainers? Meditation Course?)

Summer is a time where it is happily SO much easier to get up earlier, exercise outdoors, eat lighter foods and so on.

We have such an amazing tailwind with health and wellbeing in summer – an effortless push from Mother Nature to be our healthiest best.

All we need to do is get on board with our own summer health reset, starting today.

Tags 2019, 2020, healthy habits, positive thinking, summer

Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Summer time

7 Questions to create your BEST summer yet

Post author By Support Elf
Post date October 29, 2019
No Comments on 7 Questions to create your BEST summer yet

Ah, the smell of summer time in the air! Don’t you just love feeling the mornings getting lighter and the breeze getting warmer.

We all love summer and it’s definitely true that you can feel the collective mood of the nation rising as the sun starts to rise a little earlier each morning.

I have a new series for you today to inspire you to make Summer 2019/20 your best yet.

We all know summer’s going to be good…because…summer!!!…but I have 8 top tips for you over the next 8 weeks to amp it up to the max with your wellbeing in mind.

A little extra planning and reflection now go a really long way to making this your best summer to date.

So – today’s first tip

#1. Summer by design, not by default

If Summer 2019/20 is to be your most fun, most connected, most energising yet, then that’s unlikely to happen by accident.

We are far enough out on the run-up now that you can make some great decisions that will affect your level of ease and enjoyment the whole summer long.

So, spend a little time planning by using these 7 questions:

What was great about previous summers that you absolutely want to do again this year?
What would be the three things that would THRILL you to have happen this summer?
What three new activities or occasions do you absolutely want to include this summer?
What did you feel you might have missed out on last year? What could have been better?
What, be honest now, is getting kinda boring doing summer after summer? What are you ready to stop or switch up?
Where are you getting pulled into other people’s summer agendas in a way that really doesn’t work for you?
What are your favourite summer traditions? Is there anyone additional you want to include, or a way you want to put a twist on or expand your summer tradition?

Making the most of our precious months of glorious weather and squeezing the maximum juice out of the summer means investing in a generous sprinkle of planning.

A little planning might not sound summer-sexy – but the results sure are.

When you get the summer you want and deserve by design – not by default.

Tags challenging beliefs, Happiness, positive thinking, Reduce Stress, reflection, summer time

Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Baby, it’s cold outside: 5 totally unusual tips to move that mood! #1

Post author By Support Elf
Post date August 6, 2019
No Comments on Baby, it’s cold outside: 5 totally unusual tips to move that mood! #1

Wellbeing undoubtedly takes more focus and attention in the winter, whereas in the summer it is much more likely to take care of itself. Lighter mornings make it easier to jump out of bed and exercise. It’s hotter so we are naturally drawn to eat lighter foods. We have more holidays so play, rest, relaxation and fun are an integral part of the flow of the week.

It seems far easier to be healthy in the summer.

Coming up with a winter wellbeing plan is a smart choice. Acknowledging it will take a little more thought, planning and willpower than in the summer, but choosing it anyway means you will coast through the winter with much more ease and reach Christmas minus the panic about being beach body ready in 10 days.

So, here is a little mini-series on tips to keep your wellbeing front of mind this winter. We are going to start with a bit of a feel-good pay it forward action: looking outside ourselves and seeing where we can lend a hand.

Altruism is a huge mood booster: our own happiness levels have been shown to increase more and are sustained far longer by an altruistic act than most of the quick hit feel-good things we might do for ourselves.

So, have a look around. The winter is especially hard on the more vulnerable in our communities, especially the elderly. It can be an especially isolating time of year; there are fewer visitors, less trips out, less chat and social interaction. Not only that it’s a time of year when more practical assistance can be required. If it’s especially cold or icy maybe a hand with the shopping or picking up a prescription? Or is the heating and insulation working as it should?

Assistance checking and reassurance can mean the world. Or an invite round to share the crockpot with some conversation can get someone at their lowest and be just the boost they need.

Taking a few minutes out to check on an elderly neighbour could be just 10 minutes out of your day but be high spot in their long, cold week. I know we are all so busy, busy busy, and want to get on to of our own winter wellbeing priorities but if we could make a quick check on those around us our first one then it’s not just our own wellbeing we will be enhancing.

Go do some good today.

Tip two coming next week … ?

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy.

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside!

Tags 2019, Happiness, priorities

2021 Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Positive Thought Strategy

The Beauty in the Break

I have come across a beautiful and timeless Japanese art called “kintsukuroi”: the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold.

Cracked and shattered items are lovingly pieced back together and the cracks flooded with gold. The piece is no longer perfect – but its repair is proudly on view in precious metal, integral to its new form, which only serves to make the piece more beautiful – not despite its breaks, but because of them.

The deeper spiritual meaning of this art is to consider: what if we saw ourselves the same way?

That we all go through astonishing heartbreak and life explosions, from which we will never be quite the same. There will be wounds, and we might try to hide them … but they are there.

We might think we are no longer as good, worthy, or tarnished in some way once the storms of life hit and we are no longer box fresh perfect.

But what if we believed that we were not just okay because we have had a few breaks along the way…but that WE ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE OF IT?

That our beauty actually lies WITHIN our imperfection and our transcendence of life’s slings and arrows?

That our uniqueness, flaws, scars, idiosyncrasies, are an integral part of the fabric that makes us imperfectly perfect?

That our survival and our ability to prevail in the case of hardship adds depth and richness?

This is life.

Not one of us gets out without getting a bit battered along the way as well as screwing up a few times ourselves.

No one, anywhere, at any time, has lived a perfect life.

Maybe it’s time to let perfectionism go for the mirage it is.

We are all good people; doing the best we can, with what we have, and what we know.

And you know what – that’s perfectly good enough right there.

What say you? Ready to relinquish the mirage of perfection for a little kintsukuroi?

We are all worthy – not just despite the breaks we have experienced, but because of them.

Tags challenging beliefs, Happiness

4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body

Nourishment … Or Punishment?

Post author By Support Elf
Post date June 18, 2019
No Comments on Nourishment … Or Punishment?

Want to turn everything you know about exercise on its head? That struggle of making it happen? All the willpower than needs to be mustered? The endless “shoulds” for each missed class or walk? Well, you can.

You just need to adopt the mindset of the Effortless Exerciser.

And what IS that Louise, I hear you ask.

Well. Here’s the thing. When exercise is a hard habit to make stick, and we keep falling off the wagon it’s a signal that we are using exercise to GET something from our body.

Usually it’s to be thinner, to have a smaller arse, or to get rid of the entire tube of Pringles we accidentally snaffled last night (impossible to stop, I hear ya).

We want to GET a result from our body in terms of how it looks and weighs. And sometimes we want to punish ourselves for a less than stellar diet.

It’s a pretty harsh relationship when you look at it. It’s all get get get.

We can find a much more peaceful and powerful way. And that’s to start viewing exercise as something we GIVE to our body. Not because we are trying to force a certain result, but because we only have this one remarkable body to live in for the entirety of our life, and that we want to honour and respect it.

We want to give it what it needs, simply because it needs it, not because we are trying to elicit something in return.

We give from a place of love and generosity. We give because we want to look after it, and it likes to move. It’s like walking the dog; you walk the dog because you love the dog and it needs to be walked to be healthy and happy; not because you are trying to get the dog to give you something. You give to the dog. Regularly walking the dog is love in action.

Moving your body often is self-respect in action. It’s about giving generously, rather than trying to drive an outcome. Effortless exercising is about giving not getting. It’s choosing nourishment rather than punishment.

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy.

Tags Fitness, flexible thinking, weight loss

What was great about previous summers that you absolutely want to do again this year?

What would be the three things that would THRILL you to have happen this summer?

What three new activities or occasions do you absolutely want to include this summer?

What did you feel you might have missed out on last year? What could have been better?

What, be honest now, is getting kinda boring doing summer after summer? What are you ready to stop or switch up?

Where are you getting pulled into other people’s summer agendas in a way that really doesn’t work for you?

What are your favourite summer traditions? Is there anyone additional you want to include, or a way you want to put a twist on or expand your summer tradition?

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