Categories
2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Breaking through from burnout: When “I’m fine” is really a secret cry for help

Prisha is a busy mum and step-mum, who works part-time AND is an exceptional surveyor in the office. She juggles a lot, mostly with a smile, and is THAT FRIEND. You know, the one you go to who always helps you feel better and knows what to say. 

Prisha had a problem and that was – she was veeeerrry burned out. And that a lot of her “I’m fine!”’s were in fact covering up the fact she was utterly overwhelmed and feeling like she was a hamster on a wheel from the moment she woke up to the moment she closed her eyes at night. 

AND because she was already so busy, she absolutely did NOT have time for yet another spendy wellbeing programme or gym membership that would be gathering dust after the first week. She didn’t need more in her life, she was already up to her limit. 

Prisha joined the Coaching Academy as a bit of a cry for help, really. And she spent the first few weeks just checking in with the daily challenges, as she dipped into the Packing Light module that helped her dial down her tendency to overthink. 

Her big breakthrough came in one of the weekly Coach Spot LIVE sessions. It was a question another Academy member had asked about overwhelm in terms of extended family obligations, and as she listened to the advice and tools given on the live Prisha picked up a HUGE ‘AHA!’ moment for herself that changed the way she had been viewing her responsibilities and her boundaries. 

The other woman’s question unlocked her exact dilemma. Putting it into practice with a simple 5-step conversation (in the Better Boundaries module) changed SO MUCH in her office life and at home to create that breathing space she needed. It was suddenly so CLEAR when it wasn’t her wrestling with her own problem in her own head, but hearing someone get coached on something similar just unlocked that situation for her. 

That’s why we do a new LIVE Coach Spot every week inside the WW Academy. 

Those sorts of live conversations and interactions are BAKED INTO THE ACADEMY. I know it’s not just about the tools and resources in the module that month (and they are awesome!), it’s also about the opportunity to have your personal life issues coached.

One new perspective can be all it takes to unlock an issue that you have been wrestling with for YEARS.

I will never cease to be delighted by how much each weekly Coach Spot session helps SO many other members. There is a universality to what bothers us… and being able to see the nuggets of your own solution hidden in someone else’s question and answer is THE COOLEST THING. 

You might be surprised by how much you’ll get out of these weekly LIVE sessions. You don’t need to join me live (although great if you can!) all the coaching sessions are available for replay in a very tidy and indexed hub where you can go listen as you are out walking the dog or driving to work! 

If the LIVE Coach Spot sessions sound interesting to you, they are WEEKLY, and INCLUDED in your Wellbeing Warriors membership, and you can jump in now and enjoy AND beat the price rise?!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COACHING ACADEMY, SIGN UP BEFORE 31ST JULY TO BEAT THE PRICE RISE

Categories
2022 Communication Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Over-thinking… sound familiar?!

Over-thinking… sound familiar?!

So common, and at a very real cost to our mental health.

Much (not all, but a lot) of our stress is (when we step back and evaluate it objectively) self-created. It’s the same thought-loops or stories we have told ourselves over and over about how we are letting someone down / not good enough in some way / something is going to go wrong / so and so will be upset.

These catastophising stories can run on repeat in our heads creating anxiety and stress. It’s all the over-thinking “What ifs” that can drag us down.

A really helpful tip can be getting these endless anxiety-inducing stories out of your head, and into paper.

Once you look at them in black and white it’s a lot easier to slow the over-thinking down, and evaluate them with a more considered perspective:

Is that really true? Is that a fact? Where’s the evidence of that? What’s the percentage likelihood of that ever occurring? If that did happen how would I handle it? When have I handled something similar successfully before? Is this even my responsibility?

The problem isn’t that we are thinking – it’s HOW we are thinking.

Pull out a pen and paper (or use the notes page in your phone) acknowledge that thinking, and then assess that story for truth, likelihood, responsibility and your capability.

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Good Enough Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love

Wellbeing Is A Verb…

Wellbeing is a verb…it’s something you DO, not something you POSSESS.

It’s not something you ACHIEVE, like a DEGREE…

a certificate on the wall you will have for life, that no-one can ever take away…

Wellbeing a a state of continual, life-long, DOING…

one action, after the next, after the next,

like riding a bicycle, pedal after pedal after pedal…

it’s the perpetual movement that stops you falling over.

With wellbeing there is no getting “THERE”,

there is no settled final destination,

no silver bullet, no “one thing”, “one secret”,

its a million tiny ACTIONS, DOINGS… wellbeing is self-love in ACTION.

It’s not that one-off achievement that you’ll get sorted one day once life is “less busy” (it will never be).

it’s something you commit to in the now, amongst the busyness, an integral part of the busyness…

there’s never a better time to look after our mental health and physical wellbeing than today,

and tomorrow,

and the day after that and the day after that.

The sooner I realised that (and my god it took me a lot longer than it should!)

and I stopped waiting for the right time or that right bit of magical wellbeing information I was missing,

that’s when it all started to fall into place.

Wellbeing is a verb…it’s something you DO, not something you POSSESS.

DO something for the future you TODAY.

Rinse and repeat tomorrow.

Accept it will never be “done” and do it anyway. 

 

Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Emotional Honesty Energy Boosters High Energy Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Joy Of Missing Out

I have lost count of the number of gigs/parties/events I have missed out on over the years while I am teaching my fabulous yoga students of an evening. I absolutely love what I do, but I do get the odd grump about missing something every now and again. Sometimes I see my friends from corporate days doing a big glitzy thing on Facebook. The sort of industry event with black ties and champagne and fabulous shoes that I would have been at in years gone by, and I feel I am missing out, just a bit, as I potter about in my yoga pants.

I see numerous clients who are upset about missing out on career opportunities or family opportunities or travel opportunities or run-away-and-join-the-circus opportunities.  If I had a dollar for every time ‘I hate missing out’ has been uttered, I would have enough to host my own black tie and champagne event! In fact, I hear that FOMO (fear of missing out) is now actually in the urban dictionary, e.g. ‘Even though he was exhausted, John’s FOMO got the best of him and he went to the party.’

Here’s the thing. We have so many opportunities today that we live in the age of ‘missing out’. Which actually is a fantastic thing. Not a bad thing at all. I should be saying ‘I missed out!’ with joy and not regret. Why? Because missing out means I had a choice to do something else. It meant I chose another thing and I am actually so lucky to have that choice.

There are so many women around the world who miss out on things because they have no choice. Things like getting to vote, having financial independence, having a career outside the home that doesn’t require a ‘male guardian’. In Saudi Arabia, it is still illegal for women to drive, for example.  Many do not even have the choice over what they wear.

So, when I drive myself to class (rather than to the party I fancied), I am calling out my FOMO for what it is. And I think you should, too. This is all part of the energy-boosting process of embracing empowered choice. Missing out is a fantastic thing. I’ve missed out because I made the choice to run my own fabulous, thriving business. To be financially independent. To drive myself to class. On my own. In my yoga pants.

Missing out is confirmation that I have infinite choice in my life and that I am using it. And that is something to be very happy about indeed. Not the fear of missing out, but the joy of missing out. I shall call it JOMO. JOMO is the new FOMO, my friends. You heard it here first.

I wrote a blog post on this back in 2013 and had many comments from, in particular, mums of young kids. Karen said, ‘As a stay-at-home mum I sometimes feel like I’m missing out on those fabulous work events, too, and today I felt like I was missing out because a friend told me they were having a beer with Friday lunch … those were the days. But, and that but is huge, I’ve chosen not to miss out on my kids growing up, which I think in the long run is way more important than that beer I so feel like on a hot day like today. I have actually made a choice I feel lucky and thrilled to have made, and that’s a good thing to know!

Excerpt taken from The Busy Woman’s Guide To High Energy Happiness – Louise Thompson

Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Fear of failure Good Enough Live Happy Inspiration Self belief

How I Got Over My Fear Of Failure…

Falling not failing.

I have a new yoga teacher. She is a willowy blonde goddess, improbably flexible and radiant in all ways. She is also funny and nice, goddamn it. My posse of yoga girls and I have a bit of a girl crush, as we try and emulate her grace and strength. Last night she had us trying some fiendishly difficult arm balances (Parsva Bakasana if you are interested). Demonstrating this asymmetrically balance effortlessly, a picture of poise right down to her perfectly pointed toes, she encouraged us to follow. “How hard can it be?” we muttered trying to get to grips with it. Pretty hard as it turns out. We persevered, the sound of the chilled yoga tunes almost entirely drowned out by the noise of arses and foreheads hitting the floor. Annoying. Difficult. Tiring. Hot. Very easy to give up and put it in the Too Hard Basket. Just wait it out till she moves onto the next pose.

But then? But then she says this:

“Keep falling. I love it when people fall. It means you are committed.”

Oh, lady that is good. You don’t just have beautiful arms but much wisdom too.

I think this is a core principle for life. If we could love falling more we would all go further and do more.

The fear of falling stops so many of us from trying things that could be amazing, if only we would accept it was going to be harder than we thought, take longer than we thought and we probably will fall on our ass a few times. We pull ourselves up short of training for that new career; jumping into that new relationship; creating that side hustle business; volunteering for the things we have never done before; trying the scary but cool new hobby, all the time. If we are not going to be good at it quickly we can stop ourselves from starting. We fail to commit because we are scared of falling. We don’t want to hurt ourselves. We don’t want to be seen to fail again. We don’t want to go through the learning process where we are going to fall far more often than we nail it. We fail to commit because we fear the fall.

And the thing is, the fall is generally not as bad as we think. The fall is just part of getting out of our comfort zone. Trying something or someone new.

Falling is actually an intrinsic part of the process of anything new, not a reason not to commit in the first place.

Look around at the things you are proud of that you have accomplished. Look at those who have accomplished things which you would like to emulate. Some of the time it’s down to aptitude or luck but much of the time the only difference between us and them is that they have been willing to let themselves fall, and not judge themselves for it. That they have learned to love the fall. That it’s been a badge of their commitment not a signal of their failure.

Falling means you took a risk. It means you showed up. It means you didn’t quit.

Falling doesn’t mean failing. Falling means you committed.

How would life be different if you learned to love the fall?

 

Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Good Enough Live Happy Inspiration

Do You Ever Secretly Feel “Not Good Enough”?

The secret to making 2021 count.

There are as many dreams of a different, more fulfilling life than there is tea in China. Each dream as unique as the person. However, the underlying reason why we don’t step up and move towards our dreams is usually the same.

Do any of these ring a bell with you?

• The middle manager who really wants to be a nutritionist but is scared it won’t work out and they can’t make money
The gorgeous girl who has been unlucky in love and is reluctant to get into online dating, or, who does it, but then cancels the dates at the last minute.
• The busy mum who wants to get fit but can’t get a consistent exercise programme going
The new lawyer who graduated with a hard-won degree but it absolutely loathes dragging themselves into the law office each day. They slap on a brave game face and get on with it despite the misery.
• The Dad who loves his family but hates his job, but can’t leave because he is the breadwinner.
The girl who wants to travel and do the OE but has no one to go with so doesn’t book it and never goes.
• The girl who does the part-time training in massage and wants to make a full time living out of it, but is too scared to make the leap.
The spouse who is desperately unhappy but can’t have the conversation to either improve or leave the marriage.

It’s so easy for us to “get by”, day after day. Not truly connected with what makes us happy and fulfilling our life’s purpose. And then the next day, and the next day after that. And before we know it years have gone by in the “it’s okay” zone, but the amount of time we feel truly connected, alive and at peace is next to nothing.

Why?

The number one reason I see people holding themselves back is a fear that on some level they won’t be “good enough”.

• Not good enough to make a new business in the wellbeing field make enough money and be successful enough to support a good lifestyle
Not good enough to trust that there is a loving and respectful partner out there who will make her soul sing. Not good enough to be loved completely and be loved in return.
• Not good enough to put herself and the needs of her body first sometimes, that doing that will mean she is a not good enough mum, that she is selfish.
Not good enough to pack in the shiny yet unfulfilling career path and do something that the family might not approve of. Not good enough to stand up to the inevitable familial pressure.
• Not good enough to make the break and create a career change that is bold yet pragmatic. Not good enough to make the leap.
Not good enough to make friends along the trail. What if people don’t like me? What if I never meet anyone?
• Not good enough to do the non-traditional thing. That’s for other people, the brave ones who are good enough. More talented. More special.
Not good enough to make a stand and stick to it. Not good enough to live my own and make an independent life. I’ll never make it work.

Not good enough is a universal fear. It’s also a universal lie. And believing it keeps us playing small in the world. It dashes countless hopes and dreams. It’s an all-pervasive, silent assassin of living our life’s purpose.

When you look around at people who are living their life’s mission, what do you see? You see that they do feel good enough to give it a go. To back themselves. To trust that when they are honouring the messages of their soul that things will work out. That they have the courage, resilience, and passion to overcome any obstacle.

People who are living their life’s purpose don’t wait to feel good enough to make it happen. They know that that feeling comes from the action of leaping towards their passion.

Because – here’s the secret they are in on:

You are ALREADY good enough.

Why? Because “Good Enough” is an impossible standard to define. When you think about it, what does it even MEAN? Define for me someone who is good enough? Hard right? We are all imperfectly imperfect. No-one, and everyone, is already good enough.

If we wait to feel good enough on some level before summoning the courage to live the life we know we are meant to live, we will be waiting a very long time. We have to take action before we feel good enough, in the knowledge that the truth is we are already more than good enough to handle whatever comes up.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is proceeding with your soul’s calling DESPITE the fear.

You are ALREADY good enough.

You can do this. Make 2021 count.

 

Categories
2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Live Happy Inspiration

Incomplete Success

What do these things have in common?

The client distraught at the collapse of her marriage after finding her husband of 4 years had been cheating for 3, sure she would be a single mother forever and ever, and her life was over. O.V.E.R. A short time later serendipitously meeting an old school friend, getting together, he as an eager co-parent, and happier than ever before. “It was all worth it to be as happy as I am now, I’d never have found out how great things could be if I hadn’t gone through that”.

The client who was sure that the eleventy-billionth restructure at the corporate she had devoted the last 12 years of her working life to would end in redundancy. Which it did. Handily just before Christmas. “The market is so tight I’ll never find anything and Big Restructure Corp is all I know…this is a DISASTER”. She is already happy as a clam in a new role, in a medium-sized company with a whole different perspective on people management and culture – she is relaxed, sleeping well, and loving her work in a way she had forgotten she ever could. “Best thing everrrrrrr!” she laughs.

The old family friend who got royally blindsided by his business partner embezzling the company funds behind his back. A young family of 4 to support he never saw it coming. Total financial destruction. Overnight. “I had no choice I just had to go and do this job that I honestly thought was beneath me. I would never have done that work before”. Turned out that the owners loved what he did so much they offered to fund a whole new business partnership that he ended up selling down the line for millions.

I could list dozens of these, and let’s be honest – you can too. A slew of personal anecdotes exist of someone “failing” cataclysmically, only to later snatch a much more prized victory from the jaws of defeat. What they “failed at” and left behind later becoming something they wouldn’t even want for themselves anymore. That what awaited on the other side of that failure was something so much shiner, a much bigger success they could ever have imagined for themselves.

The lesson in these common tales is that we tend to take score too way early. That if you are in the grip of what seems like an unmitigated failure right now, to see that perhaps…just perhaps…it’s a foundation leading you to something way superior. You just can’t see it yet. Perhaps it’s not failure at all. Perhaps there was something you needed to learn there. Something you needed to let go of, in an albeit brutal fashion, in order to make way for something that will serve you better in the future.

Consider the possibility that failure is not failure at all. Maybe it’s just incomplete success in disguise. Doesn’t that feel better? Whether it’s in the career area, or the money area, or the relationship space, or the owing your own home space or the health and fitness place – whatever it may be for you – maybe you are not experiencing failure at all. You are just in the slightly messy transition phase of incomplete success. That’s all it is.

Incomplete success.

So hold fast. Don’t call it too soon. You can’t hear singing. The fat lady hasn’t even started warming up yet.

 

Categories
2021 Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Set your BEST goals: 12 questions to do it RIGHT + FREE PRINTABLE!

Want to know why many goals fail? I’ll tell you why. Because they are not the right goals.

They are goals that have been slapped together in haste as a New Year’s Resolution or because they are The Expected Thing You Should Want and they will often fail because you simply don’t have the real motivational juice to take you through to the finishing line. In the case of the goals of expectation of others, the only thing worse than not achieving your goal IS achieving it.

So, how to set your goals on a firmer footing? Let’s them percolate for a moment in the form of wishes – let what YOU REALLY desire, (that’s YOU, not your mamma/gramps/boss/spouse/etc) simmer to the surface.

When you set that goal, you want to know it’s 110% the direction that’s RIGHT for you – so you WILL find the commitment required to make it happen.

So – spend a little time in the Wish Creation Department today. Allow yourself the time to explore, play, and create without the pressure of deadlines and tasks. Pause momentarily in the stage of kicking ideas around to see what feels right for you.

This is all about tapping into your imagination, creativity, and the voice of your inner self before you go hard out on the doing. You want to be doing the RIGHT things in the RIGHT direction!

Download your  ‘‘What Do You Really Want’  Guided Workbook here.

There are some Wish Creating questions for you. Answer them honestly, don’t edit yourself. The first response that jumps into your head is usually the right one. Don’t second guess and doubt yourself. Whatever your first instinctive response is, is totally fine.

This is a judgment-free zone – we are just playing with thoughts and words here.

Just see what comes up for you before you rush into action.

Categories
2020 2021 Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body New Year

Why You Don’t Need A ‘New You’

“Happy New Year! Happy New You!” How many headlines will you see screaming that this month? Too many to count, I suspect.

I am going to be really subversive here (I know, I’m such a rebel) and kick off the New Year with a directly contradictory premise: You don’t need a “New You”.

The “You” you are is absolutely perfect in your imperfection. Anyone who tells you you are broken in some way is undermining your personal sovereignty. Especially anyone who tells you you are broken in order to sell something.

You are not broken! You are whole and complete.

Life and self-improvement is a PROCESS. A process means it’s ongoing. It doesn’t end until you do. It is never complete. Life is always in a state of beautiful incompletion.

We are all works in progress. For the whole of our lives. It is never “done”. It can never be done! We will be learning and growing into an ever-expanded version of our best self, our whole life. It’s a glorious process of growth. It’s about expansion and about improvement and inspiration. It’s about reaching a little higher, being a little braver, asking for a little more. It’s not about fixing something that’s broken.

You are not broken and anyone who tells you you are is lying. Don’t believe them.

A New Year is simply a convenient time to dust off the cobwebs and assess where we are at with our life’s project. Our work in progress. It’s just a milestone in the journey. A reminder to pause and reflect.

So, this year I am offering you some different kinds of New Year resolutions. Ones that delight you rather than punish you. Goals that draw you forward effortlessly in the energy of growth rather than beating you up in the energy of “not quite good enough”. Principles that lift you up, rather than tear you down for not being smart, thin, fun, rich enough – or whatever.

Because you, you dear reader, are enough.

Make your resolutions something that make your soul sing not fill you with an increasing creeping feeling of dread. Resolve toward what makes you grow, not what you want to fix.

• Resolve to laugh more in 2021.
• Resolve to love more in 2021.
• Resolve to smell the roses more in 2021.
• Resolve to connect more in 2021.
• Resolve to speak kindly to yourself, with love and compassion, in 2021.
• Resolve to strive for progress not for perfection in 2021.
• Resolve to honour your body and soul in 2021.
• Resolve never to stop growing, learning and expanding in 2021.
• Resolve to be all that you can be, the happiest version of yourself in 2021.

That’s what I wish for you. You are not broken. You never were. Embrace the glorious mess of all that you are and the beauty this year is going to unfold at your feet. Happy New Year.

Categories
2020 2021 Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Relationships

It’s the most wonderfully dramatic time of the year!

Let’s talk Christmas Drama!

Christmas can be such a trigger as it thrusts people who are used to having their OWN say and OWN space together into a confined space, add in a heap of OLD dynamics (and alcohol!) and old expectations on behaviour and authority and you can get a really explosive mix!

Social conventions that usually apply between friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues often don’t apply in the same way with family so that restraint of social convention doesn’t hold as much water as it does in other situations where things would just not get said and tongues would temporarily get bitten to keep the peace.

This quote today I think is a really nice way of rising above.

We simply DON’T have to attend every argument we are invited to.

We can let other people play out their thing and choose not to get dragged in. To simply say “I’ve heard you” but then not follow them down the rabbit hole. For the few days of festive celebration, this can be a really liberating approach. Basically what happens is because you withdraw your energy from the complaint/argument it’s like a fire starved of oxygen: it will go out.

You become NO FUN to play that old argument/complaint dance with – and so – that person will go seek it elsewhere.

Remember – it’s YOUR energy and focus – YOU get to decide where it goes. You can decide to fuel the fire or starve it.

You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.

Isn’t that good to know?

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