Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Two Simple Additions To Your Morning Routine.

Change Your World by Making Your Bed.

How we start and close the day has a huge impact on happiness and wellness levels. A few small tweaks can make a huge difference to how you feel about your day, your productivity levels and your mood. Taking a few minutes to review your morning and evening routine is a fast wellness booster. The key though I think is to be realistic about your LIFE.

So many of the articles and memes on this frankly exhaust me just reading them. You know the ones.  They trill something like, “Just 19 Simple Steps To Start Your Day RIGHT!”

It will go something like this: Journal for 15 minutes. Meditate for 20 minutes. Make a delicious fresh fruit breakfast with chia in it. Stretch with a simple 10-minute yoga routine. Take a moment to just breeeeeeathe (ahhhhh!). Read something meaningful that stretches your mind. Have a cold shower to invigorate the immune system. Do something nourishing with essential oils. Listen to a mind-expanding podcast. And so on.

I am sure I am not alone here hearing the voice in my head screaming “Yeah RIGHT!” Tui style. To make all that good stuff happen I’d need to get up at 3am to start my morning routine!

Those 96-point lists will foster nothing but feeling inadequate and guilty. The key is to work with your personal circumstances and personal body clock to optimise what is genuinely realistic to tweak for you. If the goal is not to reach instagramable levels of perfection, but to start and finish your day feeling a little calmer, a little less stressed, and with more appreciation and ease then keep it simple.

Here are two tiny tweaks you can incorporate without drama.

  1. Admiral William H. McRaven, a US Navy Seal, has a great 2-minute motivational talk on “changing the world by making your bed”. A simple but mundane task, it means you have accomplished the first task of the day early. It gives you a small sense of pride and creates the momentum to achieve the next task. As he so eloquently demonstrates, the little things in life matter: when we do the small things right we are more likely to do the big things right. Making your bed is a 2-minute investment (tops, unless you have a serious scatter cushion habit) that will start your day with purpose and discipline.

2. Use your teeth clean in the morning to anchor in some positivity. This takes exactly NO additional time, but will also set your day off on the right foot. Whilst you are brushing ask yourself the simple question, “What would I like to go RIGHT today?” Actively force your mind to start the day worry-free and focus on all the opportunities for connection and productivity you have coming up.

Take a moment to review your regular morning routine. It might (if you are honest with yourself) be “hit snooze 4 times (time investment 36-minutes) and “noodle on Facebook first thing” (12 minutes). In which case a quick refresh is in order.

These two tips, one physical, one mental, you can incorporate no matter how busy you are to start each day with purpose and positivity.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

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Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Relationships

How to DEEP Listen.

I will be a Deep Listener

Want to make someone feel special? Your partner? Mother? Ole’ Gramps? Neighbour? Niece? The barista you see twice a day every day?

You don’t need to give fancy spa vouchers to someone to make them feel special (although that’s nice, obvs!). You don’t have to whisk them off for a fancy razzle dazzle dinner (although that is also nice, Café Hanoi if you are asking). There is a far simpler and more powerful way to make someone feel special.

I call it Deep Listening. For someone to feel completely seen. Completely heard. Completely understood. And completely and utterly special.

You just need to LISTEN.

Not just with your ears but with your HEART too. Listen WITHOUT the intent to rush in and FIX IT. Listen WITHOUT the rush to judge, mentor, compare or provide a solution. Listen WITHOUT the intent to pile straight in and say, “oh yes, me too, it was so awful when I had an experience a bit like that”, and segue into your own stuff without giving their experience time to breathe.

Listen without splitting your focus to the TV or your phone.

Deep Listen.

Listen with the intent to hear what is NOT being said, as much as what IS being said.

Listen with interest: even if it’s not of natural interest to you. Listen with the intent to understand what might make that interesting to them. Why is your sister so craycray about cross stitch / cross fit /cross country?  What can she see that you can’t?

Listen between the lines. Listen behind the, “I’m fine”. Listen beyond the platitudes.

The rarest and most special gift of all in this frenetic, ultra-connected, multitasking era is the gift of true attention and deep listening.

When someone feels truly seen and truly heard without judgement, you have given them something far more valuable than any spa voucher.

How do you deep listen?

Firstly, you ask some simple open-ended questions.

Secondly, you actually listen to the responses.

Thirdly, you are genuinely interested in the content of the answer.

Then, you ask some more questions and dig a little deeper. Not rocket science, clearly. It’s rare, yes, but it’s not hard.

Here are a few Deep Listening Questions to get you going:

  • Tell me more about that…
  • That does sound tough. What else happened?
  • How did that make you feel?
  • How did you know that was the right thing for you?
  • What worries you the most about that? 
  • Is there anything else about that that bothers you? 
  • I so get that. Makes perfect sense to me. What else is on your mind about it?  
  • What would help you most right now?
  • What do you wish people understood about what you have going on right now?
  • That’s interesting/sad/downright terrifying. Tell me more about it.
  • That sounds so fun/exciting/crazy-pants unusual! Tell me more about how that came about.
  • What a cool experience/person/opportunity. What was the real highlight for you?

The easiest of these to remember is “Tell me more about that…” you can repeat that to fade. It’s the ultimate Deep Listening tool. If you remember one, that’s the one for any occasion. That’s the Swiss Army Knife of Deep Listening.

If you are disconnected from someone special, the chances are high that you have not properly listened to them for a long, long time. You have surface listened but not deep listened. You have had functional conversations but not profound ones. That you know what is going on with them but at a superficial logistical level. It’s an exchange of top level logistics. That’s fine and it keeps things ticking along: but if you want someone to feel special, give them the gift of deep listening. Park your own stuff way past the point where you want to jump in and deep listen.

Don’t let yourself off the hook with “I’m too busy” or “I’m not good at it”. That’s a cop-out and you know it (tough love: you are welcome). Deep listening used to be an integral part of the human experience back in the days where we would have been huddled around the fire after supper without multiple screens to amuse and distract us. Our entertainment and connection would have come from the people around us, not the TV or our Facebook feed. Deep Listening would have been a way of life. There would have been the time and the space for it.

Not so much now: we have so many more competing demands on our time and attention. However, what that means is it raises the value of Deep Listening, as so few people actually extend themselves enough to practice it. It makes it even more valuable when you do do it. Hence the power of deep listening to make someone feel special. It’s rare, so it’s instantly, massively special.

You can completely transform your relationship with someone by busting out some well chosen Deep Listening questions and truly listening to the answers.

The bottom line is this: it’s not enough to ask someone special how their day was, if you are not really listening to the answer.

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

Categories
Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Waste NOT Waist.

This month I’ve been working with the members of my coaching Academy ~Wellbeing Warriors~ on the trusty topic of how to start the year with purpose! Specifically how to turn wishes from a good-natured intention in January, to something that is just a non-negotiable part of their life come December.

One of the things that so many women (and quite a few men) suffer from is over-eating. Having a big lunch as a pick me up during the day to compensate for a tricky meeting, or to delay going back to the office. Overeating on the kid’s leftovers so they don’t “go to waste” (except they DO: they go directly to YOUR waist. Whoa.). Treating yourself to a cold crisp Sauv (or four) as a treat after a hellish day or a horrendous commute. Mindlessly chowing through half a packet of cheese and biccies in-front of Netflix doing the double screen thing on Instagram then hiding the packet. Overeating. It’s huge.

In a way, it’s a good problem to have. We are supremely fortunate to live in a country where the vast majority have an abundance of food to eat. However, we eat when we are not hungry, we overeat when we are full, and we often use food not as fuel but as entertainment or reward, and that’s a problem.

If this is ringing bells then changing your mindset around this alone would set your 2019 on fire: imagine creating freedom around food and eating just when you are physically hungry?

Here’s the thing.

When you are using food, not as fuel, but as either a reward or as entertainment, you are asking your stomach to solve a problem it can never solve.

If you are bored or unhappy or stressed, it’s a job for your brain.

The fact is, you need to talk to your disruptive peer/boss/staff about that tricky meeting and reset some expectations. If your job is boring you then take a training course, ask for more responsibility or take steps to find a new one.

Or you need to cook less or buy some storage for leftovers and get smart at batching meals.

Or you need to genuinely search for a new job with a better commute or negotiate some flexitime.

Or you need to call a friend/take up surfing/train your pet aardvark to whistle if you are bored.

Your stomach cannot ever, evvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrr, solve any of those problems.

They are the job of your brain.

Putting food you don’t require IN your mouth as a substitute for the right, empowered words coming OUT of your mouth will never fix the problem.

It merely perpetuates the dispiriting cycle of overeating. To solve it, you don’t need another expensive diet to eat up: you need to marshall your inner resources, get to the core of it and speak up.

 PS: If this is ringing bells for you and you want more support – dive IMMEDIATELY into the Food & Freedom module within the Academy, get the tools you need and start taking control back today: Join Wellbeing Warriors now.

Categories
Dream and Goals Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy

When Goal Setting: Face Forwards.

Here’s the thing with setting goals. Most people seem to set goals based on what they don’t want to get. Which I know makes a certain kind of sense. If you have had an experience of something you really don’t want to go through again or continue to live with, it naturally shapes what you want to avoid in the future.

You don’t want to weigh 20kgs more than your natural body weight. You don’t want to continually work late. You don’t want a partner who takes you for granted. You don’t want to live a 90-minute commute from work.

It all makes a lot of sense and dwelling on these don’ts is easy to do. After all, we have a richer sensory experience to draw on of what we have or had rather than what we have not yet experienced but would like to. We know exactly how it feels to live in a body that feels too heavy rather than one that feels just right. We know precisely how it is to crawl in the traffic for hours on end rather than working from home with the dog curled up under our desk.

Our attention gravitates to what we know we don’t want, even though we want something different.

This is not a great way to goal set because our dream of a different future becomes defined by escaping the past. The goal is detailed with one eye firmly in the rear view mirror exclaiming, “Hell no, I don’t want any more of THAT!”. Our vision of tomorrow is laid on a foundation of evading a less than stellar yesterday.

When we create goals focused backwards like that we split our energy and focus between past and future without even realising it.

A subtle but powerful shift is to just define what you want and focus all your attention and energy on it. Give full focus to the way you want to go.  How will it feel when you have it? How will you get there? What are the 3 next actions you can take to move towards it? Who could help you or join you on your journey? How will you celebrate or is it reward enough in itself? What resources would support you? Full attention on where you are going.

In short: Face Forwards.

We go where we are looking. You know that yourself from tripping when distracted looking down at your phone, or veering towards the rumble strip as you look out to sea. We are naturally pulled in the direction of our focus. So it makes sense, when there is something that we really want to achieve, to not split that focus into past and future but to keep our eye firmly on the prize ahead.

When we only keep half our attention on where we are going we are slower and we make more mistakes. We are more easily distracted. Our goal is far more likely to fail. When we fully face forwards we can see the bumps in the road earlier and avoid them. We can make smart detours and adjustments. We enjoy the journey far more, and it’s usually a LOT faster.

You don’t need to define your future by escaping your past. You don’t need to marinate in what went wrong, where others let you down or you let yourself down.

You can just define what you want now and move with commitment towards it.  Decide you will make it so in 2019.

Turn your face towards the sun. Face Forwards.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

 

Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Relationships

Relative Harmony #1 (of 2)

(AKA How Not to Murder your Family This Xmas!)

There is a tremendous quote from American spiritual teacher Ram Dass that I thought would be particularly pertinent as we hurtle towards the festive season:  If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family”. Nothing, bar nothing in this world (with the possible exception of the current incumbent of The White House) pushes everyone’s buttons so thoroughly and consistently as family, however much we love them. Here are my top tips so you can spend Christmas kicking back with a cold one on the beach not hiding in the walk-in wardrobe from your extended whanau drinking gin through a straw.

  1. You can change the dynamic

If the way things usually roll out drives you crazy, you don’t have to accept the status quo: shocking news I know, but true. It only takes one person to change in a dynamic for all sorts of subtle shifts to occur. If you are sick of the sniping and bitching, the next time your brother comes to you to moan about the way your sister is organising the beach cricket, don’t get into it: ask him to address it with your sister directly. If you are sick of being the one that does all the buying of the food, email round a list of bring a plate responsibilities ten days before. I’m not saying people will like it, but I am saying you can shift the dynamic by making deliberate shifts yourself.

  1. The only thing you “have to do” is breathe. Everything else is a choice.

Christmas is not only the time of good tidings towards all men, but can also be an absolute obligation fest filled with “have to’s” and “should’s” of varying shapes and sizes. Nothing creates overwhelm and burn-out like an obligation fest: so if the pressure is rising, I’d like for you to step deliberately back into your personal power and remember that the only thing you HAVE to do is breathe, everything (truly, everything!) else is a choice.

Driving on the roads at the same time that everyone else is, is a choice.

Doing 19 different side dishes because everyone must have their favourite because it’s Christmas is a choice.

Choosing to write a Christmas card to everyone you have ever met since you were at school as you don’t want to be rude is a choice.

So, choose well.

The reality is, you have a finite amount of time, energy and attention: make powerful choices about where those finite resources get spent. “I have to” is disempowered, “I choose to” or “I choose not to”; that’s owning your right to decide where your most precious resources go. There is no apology required for using discernment and saying no. Reaching Christmas Eve a frazzled mess serves no one!

Your Christmas: your choices, so no guilt needed for opting out of excessive obligations.

Choose decisively and well.

One of the best Christmas gifts on offer to those you love is being energised and present and full of mojo and sparkle!


To celebrate the 3rd birthday of my Life Coaching Academy ~Wellbeing Warriors~

– and to thank you for reading my posts this year and for all the amazing emails

and messages you have sent me – 

I have a special present for you all.

I have one scholarship to my online life coaching programme ~Wellbeing Warriors~

to gift to you lovely readers this festive season!

To enter, just hop over to www.louisethompson.com/winascholarship and take 30 seconds

to enter to be in to win a year of your best wellbeing with support from me!

One lucky winner will be drawn on the 21st December 2018 and advised by email.

Categories
Dream and Goals Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Giving Thanks

Christmas comes hard on the heels of Thanksgiving stateside. I am part of a huge tribe of international coaches, so my Facebook newsfeed gets flooded once a year with a beautiful outpouring of thoughtful gratitude’s – accompanying pictures of family smiles, turkeys, and potatoes with grilled marshmallows on top (don’t ask me!).

It strikes me as a lovely practice. To have a whole day that is dedicated to giving collective thanks. It’s so easy for us to get absorbed in our firmly first world problems (the traffic was bad; we left our i-phone charger behind; the flight is expensive) and lose perspective of how very, veeeeeeeery lucky we are to live such an abundant life in such an incredible country.

2018 has been hell of a year for many. For some they feel lucky to have just survived all it’s thrown their way. And for others it’s been a stellar year of accomplishment and achievement. Whether you have had a horror show you want to put behind you, or a year so good you want an encore  – this is a great time to give thanks.

Showing appreciation, not just in word but in deed creates a subtle perspective shift amidst the hustle and bustle of the Great Christmas Logistics Hustle. Taking pause between the present wrapping frenzy and corralling the family celebration to just take a breath and ask yourself – What would I like to give thanks for in 2018? Taking 5 minutes our from the frenzy of doing that characterizes this time of year to look at how 2018 has treated you, and who and what you would like to thank is a great 5 minute mood booster.

Here are a few thought starters for you:

What are the three things best things you want to give thanks for in your personal life in 2018?

  1. ____________________________
  2. _____________________________
  3. ______________________________

 

What are the 3 best things you want to appreciate that have happened in your professional life in 2018?

 

  1. ____________________________
  2. _____________________________
  3. ______________________________

 

What awesome thing has happened for you in 2018 that you could never have imagined back in January?

 

How are you grateful for this experience?

 

Who are the three people you most want to thank for bringing joy or ease into your life in 2018? Is it who you expect? How would you like to demonstrate that gratitude?

  1. ____________________________
  2. _____________________________
  3. ______________________________

 

What experience do you want to give thanks you survived in 2018? What rocked your world, but you made it through? Who are you grateful to for supporting you? What was the silver lining you can be grateful for?

 

 

 

What are you most grateful for in 2018?

 

 

 

Answering these questions is an instant mood booster. Expressing gratitude makes us feel happy. It also shifts our perspective. It’s likely your answers are all very big picture – gratitude for health, or loved ones, or big-ticket work items such as promotion. This big picture focus automatically pulls us clear of the first world gripes about delays, and queues, and the like. Gratitude refocuses us effortlessly to what is truly important to us.

 

So – onto my thanks – Thank you, dear reader, for reading in 2018 – your continual “you read my mind! How did you know that was EXACTLY what I needed to hear” emails gladded my heart every day. Have a truly restive, festive season and I look forward to continuing the journey with you in what I just know is going to be a stellar 2019.

Louise x

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

 

Categories
Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty High Energy Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Relationships Self Care and Self Love

Change The Game

This picture meme I came across at random is everything I believe.

Physical wellbeing is *obviously* really important.

But it is often given far higher importance than our emotional, mental and spiritual health and wellbeing.

Change The Game

The interesting thing is that when we attend to our mental, emotional and spiritual health (with smart, easy to apply coaching tools) we start to feel comfortable in our own skin in a way we may never have done: and that becomes the foundation for almost effortless physical health choices.

Those diets that stop, start, stop, start: you just start to eat healthy ongoing because you want to.

It stops being hard, and becomes the obvious choice.

That excessive habit wagon you have fallen in and off time and time again? You don’t need another 30-Day miracle boot camp promising you the world or a gym membership that lapses and you feel guilty about; you need to attend to your boundaries, learn why you worry about stuff and exactly how to stop it, and generally expand your level of self-awareness and trust: and, guess what…you’ll exercise regularly because you want to, because it’s just what you do. No fuss. No struggle.

That crazy lack of rest and downtime, running on empty and lack of balance? Do the deep work and watch that fall into place. Start honouring your mind and body with appropriate self-care without force or guilt.

If you are O.V.E.R. doing the same thing, listening to the same old promises, falling on and off the same ole wagon with the same ole excuses…

Do. Something. Different.

Learn how to take care of your wellbeing – emotional, mental and spiritual – and watch your physical wellbeing fall into place.

Do. Something. Different. For. You.

Something that the woman you want to be in 2019 will thank you for.

You want change?

You want to look different?

Feel different?

Change. The. Game.

Join 700 smart women in my life coaching Academy, and do wellbeing differently.

We have been doing it differently in there for 3 years now.

We have a formula that changes the game because it changes YOU.

If you are ready for real change; then I’m ready for you.

Join up right now, you won’t regret it!

 

 

Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Do Other People Judge Your Choices?

I can’t begin to tell you how much stress we cause ourselves by worrying what “everybody” will think if we quit the shiny looking job that sucks our soul/leave the boyfriend who ticks all the boxes but just isn’t quite right/bring store-bought cakes to the school fair/order takeout for the dinner party/don’t catch up with that friend we have known since school.

Worrying about the judgment of the world at large is the fastest way to derail plans that are right for your heart; your career; your body; your life. In short, it’s a dangerous way to live.

Here’s the thing.

Life is full of millions of tiny decisions.

Worrying about what other people think of those decisions is a waste of mental and emotional energy you can much better invest elsewhere.

Why do we get so concerned about approval from others? Because our actions are the centre of our own universe we can come to assume they are getting the same level of scrutiny from everyone else. Not so. It’s really good to know that the vast majority of the time people are not just only not caring about the decisions you make, they are not even noticing them. They are head down bum up focusing on their own stuff.

This is good to know with small decisions. Truly. It’s liberating! NO ONE REALLY CARES WHAT YOU ARE CHOOSING! Most of the time THEY DON’T NOTICE AND THEY DON’T CARE!  So, decide at will. The scrutiny you are imagining is exactly that. Imaginary. Don’t let that imaginary judgment interfere with your joyful day to day life choices.

Here’s the other thing. The main thing, actually. The thing to bear in mind for big important decisions. The ones that deep down scare and thrill you all at the same time.

The more you love your decision the less you need anyone else to approve of it.

Putting our own mental and emotional energy into getting clarity on our own approval is far more rewarding than pouring it into seeking others approval.

If you love what you have chosen, if it feels completely right to you: the less you need anyone else to concur. Of course, it’s lovely if they do. And of course, that’s the ideal. And of course, some support along the way would be most welcome. But don’t not do the thing that you know is the right choice for you because “everyone” isn’t in agreement.

The more you love your choice the less you need other people to.

What will make you love your choice more? Put your energy there. Put your focus on it. Whether it’s doing more research. Or hanging with people who have chosen that course of action before you. Or putting in place strategies to allow you to roll your decision out one step at a time. Own your decision. Put your energy into your own surety.

It’s good to know we generally want to convince other people when we are actually unsure ourselves. By convincing them we also want to convince ourselves.

That’s a risky policy depending on your audience!

Put the energy towards your own clarity not others conviction. The more you love your choice the less you need other people to.

The irony is, of course, that once we are committed and sure the people we care about will more than likely support us anyway. The powerful energy of our passion and surety will shine through and draw them along for the ride.

 

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Lean Harder Into Joy

We never know what is around the corner in life. We can think we do. We can have a plan. A whole, shiny future containing x, y and z. An all but certainty mapped right out in our mind’s eye. We can feel completely sure that that’s how it’s all going to unfold. We can sit back and luxuriate, confident about how it’s all going to look. That house. That partner. That job. Those children, or travels or experiences that will make up our lives. They are never really in doubt.

But life, being life, can throw a cosmic spanner into the works when we least expect it.

Good cosmic spanners. A promotion overseas. A surprise pregnancy. A kismet filled meeting with someone new. A welcome but unexpected pile of sparkly fairy dust blowing its way into our life.

Bad cosmic spanners. People die. Emigrate. Betray. Abandon. Redundancies happen. Jobs change. Industries change. Houses break. Health crisis happen. Shit happens. A tornado of shite can unexpectedly blow through your life laying waste to the most well-laid plans, leaving nothing but dust in its wake.

Plans do change. Even really good plans can change.

And we can’t know when a cosmic spanner is about to hit. All we can do is know that we have the resources within us to handle it when it does. It may not feel like we do, but we do. We can dig deeper than we ever thought was possible when the tornado does hit landfall. We are more resilient than we know or than we may want to be. That strength is there. We can call on it if we really have to. We can batten down the hatches and bail, bail, bail for our lives when we need to and the Force 9 intensity storm touches down. If we are lucky, we will have some good friends who will stand shoulder to shoulder with us and match our efforts bucket for bucket.

And so, in the meantime, what should we do? Bad stuff can happen. We are not maybe as secure as we think we are. However, we should absolutely not worry about cosmic spanners, good or bad. They will come regardless. And we need to trust we have the strength to overcome if and when they do. Instead, we should take our focus to the nuts and bolts of everyday life. The tiny stuff. I cannot help but feel that the happiest way forward is to lean hard into joy. Lean much, much harder into the moments of joy and comfort accessible in every ordinary day that passes.

We do not, and indeed cannot, protect ourselves from future grief or loss by waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anticipating or worrying about whether that thing will happen or not does not stop it happening. Fearing loss does nothing to prevent future pain, it just sucks a little more joy out of today.

Happiness is comprised of the small moments of joy linked together day to day.

The moments that seem insignificant are actually truly more significant than the big win. The very fabric of our joy is woven from small everyday moments of fairy dust. The spontaneous and shared smile. The easy park. The light through the trees. The effortless fit of familiar hand in hand. We need to lean harder into these seemingly inconsequential moments of everyday joy.

Relish every bit of pleasure. Notice it. Amplify it. Take less for granted. Lean hard. Much, much harder into the joy that is already around us. We cannot know what is around the corner so let’s make today everything it can be.

Let’s make the ordinary more special.

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside!

Categories
High Energy Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Make A Joy List

By way of a pub quiz, a seriously startling fact has just come to my attention. It appears that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, the movie, came out in 1986. Nineteen. Eighty. Freaking. Six!  Whaaaaat? Feel free to take a moment to mop your fevered brow and wonder where on earth the last 30 years just went. How can that be? Anyone?  Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?

It makes the immortal quote from Ferris himself even more poignant, Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  Well, we don’t want that. We want to pack it with as many joyful and happy moments as possible. So, I thought a Joy List could be in order today.

We want our lives to be defined by as much light, love, laughter, and joy as possible. The more of that we have the more resilience we have to weather the inevitable squally patches we will all encounter. The thing is, when we are head down, bum up, absorbed in busy-ness and getting things done, actively seeing joy can be something we defer to later. Let’s not shall we? Let’s take a moment today to stop and look around at what brings us joy so we can deliberately sprinkle more of that stuff everywhere.

Make your own Joy List right here:

3 places that make me happy:

How much time do you spend there? How regular is it? Can you find a way to increase that? What do you need to do to make that happen? Or, if it’s somewhere far afield – like Mexico, say – can you bring a bit of a feel good Mexico vibe to you? Taco night. Hang that Mexican rug on the wall that you promised you would when you bought it in that dusty market. Get some special tequila. Can you bring the essence of that joyful place to you?

3 people who bring me joy and uplift me when I spend time with them:

Note: it might not be the people you feel you “should” be putting down there. That’s okay. It’s your Joy List, no one has to see it but you. How much time do you spend with the people who spark joy for you? If it’s your cousin but you only see each other once every few months, it’s time to up the priority. Maybe you can FaceTime more or maybe it’s a great excuse to organise a girls’ trip to Melbourne. Subtly realign the way you spend your time to get more of the people who lift you up.

3 times I laughed out loud in the last week:

Studies show kids laugh hundreds of times a day. Pure spontaneous joy. Adults – not so much. Half a dozen at best. Our lol score is pitiful. Who or what makes you laugh? Genuine joyful laughter? Make deliberate plans to tickle your funny bone more often.

3 activities that light me up

Where do you lose track of time? Get so absorbed that the minutes or hours fly by. Surfing? Knitting? Cooking? DIY-ing? Hiking? How much time do you actually spend doing that stuff? As a percentage of your week or month? What can you gently let go of in order to allow a little more joy time in?

We all have the same 10,080 minutes in a week. The same 8,769 hours in a year. We can’t change that. What we spend them on, where we spend them, and who with – we can. Cramming as much joy into each seems like a good plan to me. Life does indeed move pretty fast. Look around once in a while, don’t miss it.

 

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