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2022 4 Dimensional Wellness Private Life Coaching Self Care Sunday

The #1 quality that means people will get the most from life coaching is…

You know what is the #1 thing that means people will get the most from life coaching?

 

Having a clear idea on their problems? On their goals? Clarity on their desires? Awareness of their boundaries?

 

It’s not what you think.

 

My VIP clients and my amazing Coaching Academy members have ONE defining quality in common to get the results they do:

 

And that is READINESS.

 

🔥They are sick and TIRED of the status quo.

 

🔥They want things to be different MORE than they want to get sympathy when talking about them.

 

🔥They are ready to be CURIOUS about their patterns and choices (not judgmental, curious).

 

They are READY to leave the COMFORT BLANKET OF DISCOMFORT (yes, discomfort can be so familiar it feels more comfortable than change) (IKR)

If you want to change your life, and have the health, wealth, meaning, relationships you deserve you have to be READY to leave behind the comfort bubble of excuses, or of feeling sorry for yourself, or having other people feel sorry for you…

 

What you want is right on the other side of being READY for it.

 

READINESS is EVERYTHING.

 

And…the best bit?

 

It’s only one decision away 💛

 

What are you ready for ?

 

PS. Ready to work with me?! I hope so. Here are just three ways we can do that…

Book: Start using the 101 easy-to-implement mental and emotional health tips from my newest (super pretty, super effective) book, 101 Self Care Ideas.

Video Coaching:  Order a White Witch Video Note on any situation that is driving you up the wall and I’ll give you the tools and perspective you need to unlock it in a 72 hours turnaround.  You want coaching on demand? You’ve got it! White Witch Video Notes (Note: this one is Academy members ONLY )

Academy: My absolute number one recommendation is to join the Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy – there are so many modules in there to help you get unstuck. You will learn more about yourself and how to conquer your fear of change in a supported environment.  Life (and your busy brain!) will never be the same, you can check it out and join the WAITLIST right here: Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy

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2021 4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Good Enough Live Happy Inspiration

Do You Ever Secretly Feel “Not Good Enough”?

The secret to making 2021 count.

There are as many dreams of a different, more fulfilling life than there is tea in China. Each dream as unique as the person. However, the underlying reason why we don’t step up and move towards our dreams is usually the same.

Do any of these ring a bell with you?

• The middle manager who really wants to be a nutritionist but is scared it won’t work out and they can’t make money
The gorgeous girl who has been unlucky in love and is reluctant to get into online dating, or, who does it, but then cancels the dates at the last minute.
• The busy mum who wants to get fit but can’t get a consistent exercise programme going
The new lawyer who graduated with a hard-won degree but it absolutely loathes dragging themselves into the law office each day. They slap on a brave game face and get on with it despite the misery.
• The Dad who loves his family but hates his job, but can’t leave because he is the breadwinner.
The girl who wants to travel and do the OE but has no one to go with so doesn’t book it and never goes.
• The girl who does the part-time training in massage and wants to make a full time living out of it, but is too scared to make the leap.
The spouse who is desperately unhappy but can’t have the conversation to either improve or leave the marriage.

It’s so easy for us to “get by”, day after day. Not truly connected with what makes us happy and fulfilling our life’s purpose. And then the next day, and the next day after that. And before we know it years have gone by in the “it’s okay” zone, but the amount of time we feel truly connected, alive and at peace is next to nothing.

Why?

The number one reason I see people holding themselves back is a fear that on some level they won’t be “good enough”.

• Not good enough to make a new business in the wellbeing field make enough money and be successful enough to support a good lifestyle
Not good enough to trust that there is a loving and respectful partner out there who will make her soul sing. Not good enough to be loved completely and be loved in return.
• Not good enough to put herself and the needs of her body first sometimes, that doing that will mean she is a not good enough mum, that she is selfish.
Not good enough to pack in the shiny yet unfulfilling career path and do something that the family might not approve of. Not good enough to stand up to the inevitable familial pressure.
• Not good enough to make the break and create a career change that is bold yet pragmatic. Not good enough to make the leap.
Not good enough to make friends along the trail. What if people don’t like me? What if I never meet anyone?
• Not good enough to do the non-traditional thing. That’s for other people, the brave ones who are good enough. More talented. More special.
Not good enough to make a stand and stick to it. Not good enough to live my own and make an independent life. I’ll never make it work.

Not good enough is a universal fear. It’s also a universal lie. And believing it keeps us playing small in the world. It dashes countless hopes and dreams. It’s an all-pervasive, silent assassin of living our life’s purpose.

When you look around at people who are living their life’s mission, what do you see? You see that they do feel good enough to give it a go. To back themselves. To trust that when they are honouring the messages of their soul that things will work out. That they have the courage, resilience, and passion to overcome any obstacle.

People who are living their life’s purpose don’t wait to feel good enough to make it happen. They know that that feeling comes from the action of leaping towards their passion.

Because – here’s the secret they are in on:

You are ALREADY good enough.

Why? Because “Good Enough” is an impossible standard to define. When you think about it, what does it even MEAN? Define for me someone who is good enough? Hard right? We are all imperfectly imperfect. No-one, and everyone, is already good enough.

If we wait to feel good enough on some level before summoning the courage to live the life we know we are meant to live, we will be waiting a very long time. We have to take action before we feel good enough, in the knowledge that the truth is we are already more than good enough to handle whatever comes up.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is proceeding with your soul’s calling DESPITE the fear.

You are ALREADY good enough.

You can do this. Make 2021 count.

 

Categories
2021 Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Set your BEST goals: 12 questions to do it RIGHT + FREE PRINTABLE!

Want to know why many goals fail? I’ll tell you why. Because they are not the right goals.

They are goals that have been slapped together in haste as a New Year’s Resolution or because they are The Expected Thing You Should Want and they will often fail because you simply don’t have the real motivational juice to take you through to the finishing line. In the case of the goals of expectation of others, the only thing worse than not achieving your goal IS achieving it.

So, how to set your goals on a firmer footing? Let’s them percolate for a moment in the form of wishes – let what YOU REALLY desire, (that’s YOU, not your mamma/gramps/boss/spouse/etc) simmer to the surface.

When you set that goal, you want to know it’s 110% the direction that’s RIGHT for you – so you WILL find the commitment required to make it happen.

So – spend a little time in the Wish Creation Department today. Allow yourself the time to explore, play, and create without the pressure of deadlines and tasks. Pause momentarily in the stage of kicking ideas around to see what feels right for you.

This is all about tapping into your imagination, creativity, and the voice of your inner self before you go hard out on the doing. You want to be doing the RIGHT things in the RIGHT direction!

Download your  ‘‘What Do You Really Want’  Guided Workbook here.

There are some Wish Creating questions for you. Answer them honestly, don’t edit yourself. The first response that jumps into your head is usually the right one. Don’t second guess and doubt yourself. Whatever your first instinctive response is, is totally fine.

This is a judgment-free zone – we are just playing with thoughts and words here.

Just see what comes up for you before you rush into action.

Categories
2020 4 Dimensional Wellness Live Happy Inspiration Resilience Self belief

Self Belief – Inca Trail Learnings

Trekking to Machu Picchu is a once in a lifetime experience, and I am so glad to have been able to do it. Once in a lifetime that is unless you are a Guide or a Porter on the Inca Trail. Our guide had done the Inca Trail 750 times! If you think that’s remarkable listen to this:

Each year they have a race, just local porters and guides, across the whole Inca Trail. End to end in one go. This trail is at serious altitude and takes us mere mortals 4 days of hard slog, and it is HARD. Really, really hard.

So in what time do you think the locals can do this 4-day strenuous trek? 3 days? 2 days? A day? Nope. The record-holder is a porter who completed the entire Inca Trail in UNDER 4 HOURS. A sub-4-hour time for a 4-day trek. How incredible is that?

Yes, they are used to the altitude and yes, they are madly fit, but nevertheless I think the most incredible thing here is the mindset. And the belief of what is possible for the human body to accomplish. The mind has such a powerful influence on the body, more so I think than the hours spent in a gym preparing. If you believe you can accomplish something, that knowledge is far more powerful than the actual prep.

What you believe is possible has the greatest influence of all.

Consider this, when Roger Bannister broke what was widely considered to be an impossible barrier – the 4-minute mile  – back on 6th May 1954, beliefs were challenged and changed overnight. It must be possible because Bannister had done it. That change in belief led to 53 people (fifty three!) also breaking the 4-minute mile in the next 12 months. What had changed? Certainly not training regimes or kit in that short time period: it was entirely due to the change in belief of what was possible.

Have a think about anything that might be holding you back right now…the belief that you can’t lose weight; that you are just too busy to have a healthy work/life balance; that you are too old to take up surfing; that you can’t make money doing something you love; and see how that belief is holding you back far more than your body or circumstance is.

Commit to trying and challenging the impossible: you just never know what you might achieve, or what you might inspire others to do.

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Self Care and Self Love

Write Yourself A New Ending

Here’s an interesting wee fact for you this morning: I see more clients coming for life coaching to make transformative change at the ages of 29, 39, 49 and 59, than all the other years put together. There is something super powerful about that change in decade of our age which naturally gives us pause. We take stock at this turning of the chapter, a whole new decade, and reflect in a way we don’t seem to as much in the in-between years.

When a whole new decade is bearing down on us we seem far more likely to ask ourselves if our life is all that it “should be” by this stage. Are we hitting the milestones we had always privately set for ourselves at this marker? Life can be thrown into sharp relief by contemporaries around us ticking past the same clock and the same milestones.

A change of decade can be the most incredible kick up the pahootie to refocus and get serious about what we want to achieve in the next decade, harnessing that natural motivation can be all powerful. But I also see it as a time where more regret will also surface as a result of the reflection. Of milestones not met or exceeded, statuses not reached. The trick here is not to get sucked into a whirlpool of regret, but to take any relevant lessons and use them to push forwards once again. To not look sorrowfully at the time that has been “lost” but focus all that is to come. To take it as a clean fresh page and begin again. Start anew. Double down. Make it happen.

The quote attributed to C.S. Lewis says it best: “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”.

We have the power to write ourselves a new ending any time we choose. We can do it whenever we take the time to reflect and refocus: not just when the year reads “9”, or a day of the week starts with an M. That no matter what is past, we get to say how our story will end. Starting now.  You can write yourself a new ending, starting today.

 

Categories
Dream and Goals Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress

Reflect and Recommit

Whoa…middle of May already?! 2019 is whizzing by.

Moving towards mid-year, it’s an excellent time to check in on how your year is going.

Here are a few handy review questions to get you thinking:

 

  1. What are you most proud of so far in 2019?

 

  1. What New Year’s Resolutions did you set this year?

 

  1. Which ones have you achieved? Why have you achieved them? How did you accomplish them?

 

  1. Which ones are nicely on track? Why are they going so well? What is it that you are doing that is keeping them on track?

 

  1. Which ones have, ahem, fallen by the wayside? Why is that, honestly? What did you prioritise instead? Are you good with that choice?

 

  1. Do you still want to achieve that thing? Is it still important to you?

 

  1. Is there something else you would like to create for yourself in 2019?

 

We are very good at waiting till Monday to restart the healthy eating plan, waiting till the first of the month to reset our spending, and waiting till the 1st of the year to set our big goals for our lives. Doesn’t have to be that way.

We can reset ourselves any time we choose.

We can start on a brand new adventure, goal or splendid plan at 4.34pm on a random Wednesday (TODAY!) in May if we choose to make it so. Every day is an opportunity to remake ourselves. To take a moment to look up from the hamster wheel of doing that is life and see in what overall direction we are headed. If all the tiny little decisions and choices we are making each day about how to prioritise our time, energy and attention are actually taking us in the direction, on the 1st of January, that we fully intended to go.

Now is the time as we hunker down to winter to reassess. See what has worked. Give ourselves a pat on the back where appropriate and double down on what we still want to move towards. Keeping up momentum as it gets colder and darker with that extra show of motivation to push through is vital. It is so much easier to commit to healthier eating, more exercise and so on when the sun is shining, fruit is falling off the trees in the garden and the nights are long.

So, what is the #1 thing you want to accomplish by the end of the year? What would make 2019 stand out as the year you always look back on? That you finally went to that amazing place you had on your bucket list or started that study programme that transformed your professional opportunities, set up your side hustle business, ran that off-road marathon, lost the 15kgs and kept it off.

Small tiny actions lead to huge long-term accomplishments.

It’s a general principle of how the human brain works that we tend to wildly overestimate what we can accomplish in a day (those To Do list’s that seem so doable at 8am but are almost unchanged at 4pm) and conversely also tend to habitually underestimate what we can accomplish in the long term. We can make so many more things that we think are too big or too time consuming to start, actually happen, if we just start small, but start.

The year is yet young. Reflect and recommit.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women.

Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to waitlist and I’ll let you know the moment the doors are open for new members! 

 

Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Two Simple Additions To Your Morning Routine.

Change Your World by Making Your Bed.

How we start and close the day has a huge impact on happiness and wellness levels. A few small tweaks can make a huge difference to how you feel about your day, your productivity levels and your mood. Taking a few minutes to review your morning and evening routine is a fast wellness booster. The key though I think is to be realistic about your LIFE.

So many of the articles and memes on this frankly exhaust me just reading them. You know the ones.  They trill something like, “Just 19 Simple Steps To Start Your Day RIGHT!”

It will go something like this: Journal for 15 minutes. Meditate for 20 minutes. Make a delicious fresh fruit breakfast with chia in it. Stretch with a simple 10-minute yoga routine. Take a moment to just breeeeeeathe (ahhhhh!). Read something meaningful that stretches your mind. Have a cold shower to invigorate the immune system. Do something nourishing with essential oils. Listen to a mind-expanding podcast. And so on.

I am sure I am not alone here hearing the voice in my head screaming “Yeah RIGHT!” Tui style. To make all that good stuff happen I’d need to get up at 3am to start my morning routine!

Those 96-point lists will foster nothing but feeling inadequate and guilty. The key is to work with your personal circumstances and personal body clock to optimise what is genuinely realistic to tweak for you. If the goal is not to reach instagramable levels of perfection, but to start and finish your day feeling a little calmer, a little less stressed, and with more appreciation and ease then keep it simple.

Here are two tiny tweaks you can incorporate without drama.

  1. Admiral William H. McRaven, a US Navy Seal, has a great 2-minute motivational talk on “changing the world by making your bed”. A simple but mundane task, it means you have accomplished the first task of the day early. It gives you a small sense of pride and creates the momentum to achieve the next task. As he so eloquently demonstrates, the little things in life matter: when we do the small things right we are more likely to do the big things right. Making your bed is a 2-minute investment (tops, unless you have a serious scatter cushion habit) that will start your day with purpose and discipline.

2. Use your teeth clean in the morning to anchor in some positivity. This takes exactly NO additional time, but will also set your day off on the right foot. Whilst you are brushing ask yourself the simple question, “What would I like to go RIGHT today?” Actively force your mind to start the day worry-free and focus on all the opportunities for connection and productivity you have coming up.

Take a moment to review your regular morning routine. It might (if you are honest with yourself) be “hit snooze 4 times (time investment 36-minutes) and “noodle on Facebook first thing” (12 minutes). In which case a quick refresh is in order.

These two tips, one physical, one mental, you can incorporate no matter how busy you are to start each day with purpose and positivity.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Self Care and Self Love

I Will Claim My Power

There are few feelings more dispiriting that feeling trapped. When we feel we are in a situation where we have no choices it feels like the walls are closing in. We can feel paralysed and the third, less common, “f” comes into play: fight, flight and …freeze. When we feel like we have no choice what we will do is freeze.

Because we don’t have a great choice we want to make, we make no choice at all. So we stick. We feel stuck. We have all been there and feeling frozen and trapped is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Drawing on timeless wisdom that sometimes the only way out is through and that things might have to get worse before they get better (hey, things become cliché’s for a reason, no?!), I’d like to draw your attention to a quote that will muster your resolve if you are currently feeling trapped by circumstance:

Taken from the great American author and activist Alice Walker (she wrote The Colour Purple) it is, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any”, and I have to concur.

The nature of my work is that clients come to me when they feel frozen and stuck. Stuck in a career that’s too much of a gilded cage to leave. Stuck in a relationship that would break too many hearts to depart. Stuck in a country they don’t want to be in by legalities. Stuck in a lifestyle that is ruining their health. That feeling of being trapped is hard. When we feel we are out of choices we feel truly out of joy, momentum and the happiness tank rapidly drains to zero.

Thing is, it is a fundamental truth that the only thing we HAVE to do is breathe, so we actually DO always have a choice.

Hideous and hard choices may be but there are always choices. Choices you may not want to face but choices that will break the inertia that is creating the paralysing stuck-ness. The key is to force movement (however small) and start the process of unsticking. Lift the paralysis by moving from freeze into fight or flight. The movement inherent in both those choices will feel hard but liberating.

When we perceive we have no power in a situation we inevitably feel trapped. I have clients step back and treat it like a creative brainstorming exercise. Take away any expectation of action and just be creative.

If this was someone else’s issue, what possible options could they have? Brainstorm as many as you can. Options A through G, H and so on. Sell the house, make a huge loss. Get a bank loan that takes years to pay off. Hire a private detective. Put Dad in a hospice. Take a 3-month sabbatical. Ask Aunty Carol for a loan. Let them leave the country without you. Take a rental even though you have always owned your own place. Brainstorm the hideous options out. Take your power back by acknowledging that you DO have choices, you are never completely stuck, there are always options. List as many as you possibly can, no matter how hard or crazy or tangential.

Just the action of doing this will make you feel freer and more able to see the way forwards.

Gradually one option will start to feel less onerous than the rest, and a way forward will become clear where you can step back into your power. It was there the whole time, you just needed to step back and let the solution emerge from the knowledge that you do have choices.

We are only ever as trapped as we think we are.

Grab a white board marker, get brave and step back into your power.

Categories
Emotional Honesty Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Accept the Unacceptable.

I will (sometimes) accept the unacceptable.

There are absolutely times to stand up and fight the unacceptable. To reassert boundaries and say “You know what, that’s not okay for me”. To muster the courage for a scary conversation or make a big brave leap and leave a situation that is not serving or safe for you. There are absolutely times where something is not acceptable and we need to change it. Much of my work is helping people to stand up and be counted in their own lives and to make those choices and changes with confidence and clarity. There are times to fight, to dig deep and make a radical change to the unacceptable head on.

However, there are other times where conversely the brave choice is not fighting but acceptance of the unacceptable. Occasionally the stuckness we feel is because we are permanently wrestling with the unacceptable, that it “should” be another way, but… it simply cannot be. The energy that goes into resisting reality can be incredible. The thing is if you are resisting the present with all your might you have very little capacity for building the future.

Stop the struggle I say. Gaining clarity on which unacceptable situations are ones you can change or leave, and which ones you have no option other than to accept for what they are, is key to releasing feeling stuck or trapped. If you cannot change it or leave it you need to accept it.

You have a fact not a problem.

A problem has a solution (might be hard but it’s there). A fact is what it is. And so if you are going to have to accept it, sooner is often far better than later.

If you have a situation that is unacceptable (eg. your partner has left and is absolutely not returning; your company is being forced into receivership; you have been made redundant; your sister is a drug addict, the dream house you had plans drawn up for you can no longer afford to build, there has been a change in management with sweeping policy changes etc) do you put your energy into fighting the unacceptable tooth and nail, or into creating something new? You only have so much capacity. Do you throw it forwards or do you stay stuck with it in the present?

Refusing to either change or accept the unacceptable creates stuckness.

If you want to feel free, sometimes the only way out is to accept the unacceptable.

That doesn’t mean admitting the current situation is satisfactory in any way, it means accepting it as a reality. It means agreeing it’s a fact and moving on. The key question is where do you want to keep emotionally investing? In an outcome you can’t change or building a new one with whatever you have left at your disposal.

Perhaps your situation in your life that is wholly unacceptable to you but that you are tolerating, wrestling with or feeling stuck about? Clear the path, and stop struggling with it. Either step up and do the necessary big brave choice to improve it or leave it, or, if those options are not open acknowledge you have an unpalatable fact.

Accept it. Accept the unacceptable.

Set yourself free with as much grace as you can muster. And move on with what you still have to create a better future.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

 

Categories
Dream and Goals Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy

When Goal Setting: Face Forwards.

Here’s the thing with setting goals. Most people seem to set goals based on what they don’t want to get. Which I know makes a certain kind of sense. If you have had an experience of something you really don’t want to go through again or continue to live with, it naturally shapes what you want to avoid in the future.

You don’t want to weigh 20kgs more than your natural body weight. You don’t want to continually work late. You don’t want a partner who takes you for granted. You don’t want to live a 90-minute commute from work.

It all makes a lot of sense and dwelling on these don’ts is easy to do. After all, we have a richer sensory experience to draw on of what we have or had rather than what we have not yet experienced but would like to. We know exactly how it feels to live in a body that feels too heavy rather than one that feels just right. We know precisely how it is to crawl in the traffic for hours on end rather than working from home with the dog curled up under our desk.

Our attention gravitates to what we know we don’t want, even though we want something different.

This is not a great way to goal set because our dream of a different future becomes defined by escaping the past. The goal is detailed with one eye firmly in the rear view mirror exclaiming, “Hell no, I don’t want any more of THAT!”. Our vision of tomorrow is laid on a foundation of evading a less than stellar yesterday.

When we create goals focused backwards like that we split our energy and focus between past and future without even realising it.

A subtle but powerful shift is to just define what you want and focus all your attention and energy on it. Give full focus to the way you want to go.  How will it feel when you have it? How will you get there? What are the 3 next actions you can take to move towards it? Who could help you or join you on your journey? How will you celebrate or is it reward enough in itself? What resources would support you? Full attention on where you are going.

In short: Face Forwards.

We go where we are looking. You know that yourself from tripping when distracted looking down at your phone, or veering towards the rumble strip as you look out to sea. We are naturally pulled in the direction of our focus. So it makes sense, when there is something that we really want to achieve, to not split that focus into past and future but to keep our eye firmly on the prize ahead.

When we only keep half our attention on where we are going we are slower and we make more mistakes. We are more easily distracted. Our goal is far more likely to fail. When we fully face forwards we can see the bumps in the road earlier and avoid them. We can make smart detours and adjustments. We enjoy the journey far more, and it’s usually a LOT faster.

You don’t need to define your future by escaping your past. You don’t need to marinate in what went wrong, where others let you down or you let yourself down.

You can just define what you want now and move with commitment towards it.  Decide you will make it so in 2019.

Turn your face towards the sun. Face Forwards.

 

If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

 

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