2022 My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

There is no more important time to be taking good care of yourself than during a crisis. Unfortunately, this is generally when it feels the hardest to do it!

  • It’s difficult to connect with eating nourishing food being a priority when you have suffered such a huge loss that nothing can fill it. However, improved self-care is exactly what we need to do at this time.
  • We can meet adversity with more resolve when we have slept well, have eaten well, are hydrated, and up and dressed ready to face the world, even when we just want to hide under the duvet and hope it will all go away.
  • Going back to basics with sleep/nutrition/exercise non-negotiables gives us a platform of physical resiliency to deal with whatever faces us emotionally.​​​​
  • A crisis situation is what it is; but it is always going to be better to face it with a good night’s sleep and a full belly than being wired and tired.

When life has thrown a curve ball and looking after yourself feels like more than you can handle right now

  1. Reach out for support. People care. They WILL help you. At my darkest times I have been amazed at the kindness of friends gently shepherding my self-care forwards. Looking after me when I can’t do it myself.
  2. Don’t try and do All The Things. Just doing ONE piece of self-care will feel empowering and that you are controlling SOMETHING, when life itself feels out of control. Just do ONE good thing for yourself. Don’t set the bar too high. Just do ONE.
  3. If you need ideas, you can get my book (it’s so pretty and easy to use you will love it) and tick off one new self-care action each day. You don’t even need to have the energy to think of a thing, I’ve done it for you, and broken it down into 8 different categories of self-care. All you need to do is ONE a day. They will all gently move you forwards.

You can get it here: 101 Self-Care Ideas

Be good to you.


PS. One of the things readers have loved is the “tickable” format on the 101 Self Care Ideas, gently motivating to see your progress. Especially if you can’t affect much on other areas of life right now, you CAN do this small thing to replenish yourself. You can grab it here.

2020 Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Post Lockdown Reduce Stress Simplicity and Time Management

Tame That To Do List

Habits Of Happiness – Expectation Management

Here is an interesting phenomenon. In my experience, people tend to seriously OVER estimate what can be achieved in the short term, and UNDER estimate what can be achieved in the long term.

For example, if you are anything like me you start the day with a To-Do list thinking, yep, I can crack through at least 8 of those things today! Bring it on! I have a vision of crossing things off in a frenzy of activity, getting to the end of the day with a list satisfyingly scored with black lines detailing what has been accomplished. But yet, in reality, I will have a super busy day, and yet only 2 things get crossed off.  Some days not even that!

I was bemoaning this fact to my partner. He asked “How was your day”, and I responded “Good, but… I didn’t get done everything I wanted to get done”. “You ALWAYS say that!!!!” he said. “Always”. Irritatingly when I thought about it he was absolutely right. Almost every single day I would be beating myself up about the things I had NOT done. Rather than celebrating the progress on the things I HAD accomplished. I had fallen straight into the trap of overestimating what can be achieved in the short term, and it was sucking a bit of joy out of each (actually pretty damn productive!) day.

When we routinely overestimate what we can achieve in the short term it can create a whole heap of stress and overwhelm. By overestimating just how much can be done in a day we end up beating ourselves up for not being efficient enough. Organised enough. Quick enough. Good enough. It’s actually a pretty tiring pattern.

It’s a good observation, and I know I am not alone. My smart, high achieving, professional clients are usually in the same boat. It’s a good exercise to do a little expectation management on ourselves to reduce stress.

Interestingly this phenomenon seems to go hand in hand with underestimating what we can accomplish in the long term.

We can get so caught up in the frenzy of everyday life that we fail to put our head above the parapet long enough to set some real stretch goals for ourselves, big dreams that can be realised if we plan them properly with a 12-month time frame. Because we are so busy it’s easy to dismiss those dreams as just dreams, or too big to be reached so why bother. Whereas if we put our minds to it and break it down into the tiny steps we discussed last week, that big dream can become a big goal with a deadline that we can actually accomplish if we consciously choose it.

The secret to achieving more of the big stuff and reducing stress with the small stuff is to practice expectation management. Expect a little less of yourself daily, but a little more of yourself long term. It’s a subtle but effective shift in perception that can make a big difference.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  • What DID I accomplish today? (not what did I NOT do!)
  • What are the three things I will accomplish this week come hell or high water? What are my real priorities this week?
  • What are three small things I can do this week that will step me towards my long term goals?

Action Step:

Cut yourself a little slack today, know you won’t get everything done on your list that you want to get done, BUT commit to putting into place at least one big, energising blow-your-mind dream that you can steadily move towards over the next 12 months.

You will surprised how much you can reduce the stress today, and increase the accomplishment in tomorrow.

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Make A Summer Wish List With This Magic Ingredient

There is little more annoying than seeing your Facebook feed jammed with loads of smiling faces at an event you so tooooootally would have gone to, had you only known it was on and got your shizzle together to get tickets!

We are spoiled for choice with events and entertainment at this time of year stretching right through to March and April.

So for your Best Summer take half an hour out of your week now to do your prep, gather your ingredients for your your best summer and head FOMO off at the pass.

You spend half an hour prepping dinner each night; you can find half an hour to prep your best summer!

Think Memory Making.  At it’s very essence that is what will create our best summer. Experiences, both shared and individual.

What would make you look back and smile?

Who is integral to that?

Where is special to you?

What or who do you wish you make time for every year but don’t?

I do this with World Of Wearable Arts every damn year: I forget just how much I want to go until I actually see it all unfolding live and I’ve missed the boat…again!

Not this year: I am getting my booking in now and heading off the FOMO at the pass for 2020.

If all this talk of planning is bringing you out in hives, remember that there is a strange irony to the fact that when we invest a little time and energy upfront in planning the highlights, we ironically seem to have more time, not less, to be spontaneous and grab the opportunities that just come our way in the moment.

Structure magically creates space.

So make a Summer 2019/20 wish list this week.

Share it with the people that matter.

A little planning now not only sets you up for the best summer of shared experiences, but also allows you to luxuriate in one of the most delicious emotional states there is: anticipation.

Anticipation is an instant emotional wellbeing booster.  It allows you to feel good not just doing the thing but for weeks or months ahead you get a little rosy glow as well as some pre-match feel-good chat.

Putting more anticipation into life is an easy way to up your happiness quotient very quickly.

Best summer and feeling good now: what’s not to like about that?!

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Write Yourself A New Ending

Here’s an interesting wee fact for you this morning: I see more clients coming for life coaching to make transformative change at the ages of 29, 39, 49 and 59, than all the other years put together. There is something super powerful about that change in decade of our age which naturally gives us pause. We take stock at this turning of the chapter, a whole new decade, and reflect in a way we don’t seem to as much in the in-between years.

When a whole new decade is bearing down on us we seem far more likely to ask ourselves if our life is all that it “should be” by this stage. Are we hitting the milestones we had always privately set for ourselves at this marker? Life can be thrown into sharp relief by contemporaries around us ticking past the same clock and the same milestones.

A change of decade can be the most incredible kick up the pahootie to refocus and get serious about what we want to achieve in the next decade, harnessing that natural motivation can be all powerful. But I also see it as a time where more regret will also surface as a result of the reflection. Of milestones not met or exceeded, statuses not reached. The trick here is not to get sucked into a whirlpool of regret, but to take any relevant lessons and use them to push forwards once again. To not look sorrowfully at the time that has been “lost” but focus all that is to come. To take it as a clean fresh page and begin again. Start anew. Double down. Make it happen.

The quote attributed to C.S. Lewis says it best: “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”.

We have the power to write ourselves a new ending any time we choose. We can do it whenever we take the time to reflect and refocus: not just when the year reads “9”, or a day of the week starts with an M. That no matter what is past, we get to say how our story will end. Starting now.  You can write yourself a new ending, starting today.


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Baby, it’s cold outside: 5 totally unusual tips to move that mood! #1

Wellbeing undoubtedly takes more focus and attention in the winter, whereas in the summer it is much more likely to take care of itself. Lighter mornings make it easier to jump out of bed and exercise. It’s hotter so we are naturally drawn to eat lighter foods. We have more holidays so play, rest, relaxation and fun are an integral part of the flow of the week.

It seems far easier to be healthy in the summer.

Coming up with a winter wellbeing plan is a smart choice. Acknowledging it will take a little more thought, planning and willpower than in the summer, but choosing it anyway means you will coast through the winter with much more ease and reach Christmas minus the panic about being beach body ready in 10 days.

So, here is a little mini-series on tips to keep your wellbeing front of mind this winter. We are going to start with a bit of a feel-good pay it forward action: looking outside ourselves and seeing where we can lend a hand.

Altruism is a huge mood booster: our own happiness levels have been shown to increase more and are sustained far longer by an altruistic act than most of the quick hit feel-good things we might do for ourselves.

So, have a look around. The winter is especially hard on the more vulnerable in our communities, especially the elderly. It can be an especially isolating time of year; there are fewer visitors, less trips out, less chat and social interaction. Not only that it’s a time of year when more practical assistance can be required. If it’s especially cold or icy maybe a hand with the shopping or picking up a prescription? Or is the heating and insulation working as it should?

Assistance checking and reassurance can mean the world. Or an invite round to share the crockpot with some conversation can get someone at their lowest and be just the boost they need.

Taking a few minutes out to check on an elderly neighbour could be just 10 minutes out of your day but be high spot in their long, cold week. I know we are all so busy, busy busy, and want to get on to of our own winter wellbeing priorities but if we could make a quick check on those around us our first one then it’s not just our own wellbeing we will be enhancing.

Go do some good today.

Tip two coming next week … ?


If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

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Struggling to get ALL your ducks in a row?

An interesting thing I observe:

People often want things to change to happen in their lives without actually wanting to do one of two key things.

Change their situation.

Or change themselves.

They just want things (or other people) to be different. Dadah!

Which is cool. Except it doesn’t work like that.

You can’t have change with nothing changing.

If you are “feeling stuck” then know you are your own solution.

Instead of wanting the people and things around you to change to better suit you.

Look at the courage and action required from you to create change.

This might mean facing a choice that is hard, controversial or inconvenient.

It also might mean you need to sacrifice something you would rather not.

It might mean getting way past your zone of comfort. Way past.

You want more money; then you might need to change jobs, retrain, start a side hustle business in the evenings, ask for a promotion: any matter of boundary pushing moves or sacrifices of time or comfort.

You want more love; then you might need to have a very brave and honest conversation with your partner, or book date nights and actively listen and put time in to plan a little romance, or get past the fear of online dating and get back out there.

You want to be fit; then you might need to sacrifice time running round after everyone else to go running, or say no to food on offer at social events and get past your fear of offending your host, or actually go to Crossfit and not press snooze for the third time.

We are only ever as stuck as we choose to believe we are.

But you want things to change, you have to change some things.

The key word there is you.

You can create the change you are after.

If you want different. You need to do different.


If you liked this blog, you will lovelovelove my Coaching Academy. 

Smart, practical tools that you can download, put into practice and get support and accountability as you up-level your wellbeing in an amazing community of like-minded women. Create a life you love, and a body you love living in and enjoy wellbeing without the overwhelm – just click here to join and I’ll see you inside! 

Happy People Don't Do

Unhappy People ALWAYS do this one thing

One of the biggest differences I see in people who are undergoing a conscious period of personal growth is that the overwhelm and frenzy that characterises everyday life starts to recede very quickly. They start feeling like they have more time, not less because they get super conscious about what they choose to fill their day with, and what they will no longer tolerate.

Unhappy people generally suck at prioritising.

Their time gets dragged and pulled in a dozen different directions, and they reach the end of each day feeling frazzled, that they have constantly been rushing from one thing to the next, but that they have achieved little of consequence.

This is because unhappier people spend time on what’s in immediately in front of them not what they have consciously decided is most important to their life. Their time will get sucked in different directions depending on what or who in their life is shouting the loudest at that moment. By losing sight of their true priorities in the tsunami of life stuff to get done, overwhelm is guaranteed.

Happy people know that the choices you make consistently reveal your true priorities. Your priorities are not what they say they are, they are what you consistently do and choose in favour of. Your priorities are not something you say: they are something you live.

Identifying our true priorities is really, and I mean really, important. Only when we step back and consciously do that can we then make better choices in the moment that will lead us towards them. Getting clear on your true priorities cuts through the clutter and noise like a knife through butter. When we know what we really want to be choosing in favour of, we can make the most purposeful choice in the moment and avoid being sucked into other people’s stuff (and it usually is other people’s stuff).

You need 6 priorities for the next year. Six tops. Three personal. Three professional.

Have a go at listing yours here.

Personal Priority 1:
Personal Priority 2:
Personal Priority 3:
Professional Priority 1:
Professional Priority 2:
Professional Priority 3:

It’s a valuable use of your time to get clear on your 6 big priorities. Whether it’s living in a healthy fit, body. Spending quality time with the family. Getting promoted. Gaining a new qualification. Renovating the house. Conceiving. Winning an award. Learning a new sport. Playing a musical instrument. Deepening your marriage. Travelling to South America. Running a marathon. Whatever it might be, figure it out.

Then choose in favour of those priorities. Consistently. Rationally.

In the noise and confusion of life – with every choice that comes up – does it move you in the direction of one of those 6 things? If so, it’s a no brainer “yes” choice. If it doesn’t – well it’s automatically 7th or less important to you. That’s a lot easier to say no to. Say no and fill your life with purposeful choices that move you in the direction of what you want.

Happy people know overwhelm is a choice. And a poor choice at that. So they choose not to make it with rigorous, consistent and guilt-free prioritisation that frees their mind and their time.

Action Step – There’s so much more to say on this than I can fit into this column – so I have a FREE e-book called “The 10 Principles Of Happiness” for you to download. You can work through it in more detail by hopping over to


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Busyness and Juggling

“I’m so busy!” is the modern war cry. It’s a more common response to “How are you” than the ubiquitous catch-all, “fine”. And we are right – we ARE busy. Busier than ever. Changing economic dynamics means doing more with less for those in the workplace, whether corporate or self-employed, and the eternal juggle of a parent trying to keep all the balls in the air is all too real and well documented.

Modern life is packed with stuff to get done. There are people to see, activities to be organised, money to be made, houses to be cleaned, meals to be cooked, families to be visited, groceries to be bought, clients to be seen, reports to be written, cars to be serviced, miles to be run, and so on. Then, of course, there are all those social media feeds to keep on top of too, right?

Isn’t all this technology supposed to be making our lives easier and more relaxed?

The reality is, even if you are lucky enough to have a great support crew (cleaner, virtual assistant, gardener, etc.) there is still A LOT to do! Life. Is. Busy.

The juggle of modern life is real. Critically, it’s also pretty much inevitable. It’s pretty much the default option of modern living. Being an effective and relaxed juggler involves acceptance. Accepting that a full life of juggling has been actively chosen – we have chosen to fill it with things that take much time, effort, attention – work, children, partners, friends, sport, social activities, and so on. These are all things that are truly important to us, that we are actively choosing to include in our lives. Of course, we are busy!

The path of peace involves embracing the juggle not fighting it. The juggle can be a struggle, or it can be like the real circus jugglers – it can be fun, active, thrilling to pull off! You get to choose the attitude you bring to the elements you have chosen to juggle.

Can you cheerfully strengthen your Juggle Muscle, rather than descend into Juggle Struggle?

If you are feeling overwhelmed and that you are in danger of dropping a ball or two – STOP! And prioritise the balls you have in the air. Number them, 1 through 8/9/10. Then choose to put one or two down (or outsource them if you can) for a while to give you some breathing space.

For example, I previously dropped the mission critical “health + wellbeing” ball so catastrophically (I burned myself out completely with Adrenal Fatigue) that I couldn’t work, at all, for over a year. The “health + wellbeing” ball – that’s the #1 ball (Top 3 at the very least) – that’s not a ball you want to drop! But the “clean and tidy house” well – that’s something you can choose to live with being at 80%, and that you can outsource. It’s a lot easier to live with your house, or your social life, at 80%, than your health – trust me!

So – if you accept the juggle you get to choose and, even more importantly, prioritise, which and how many elements you get to have in the air at any one time. We get to say “I’m so busy!” but with a smile rather than a sigh. It means we have chosen to fill our lives with many things that are truly important to us. So, assess what comprises your busyness. Be ruthless and put down a couple of balls if you need to. Make smart and empowered choices. As the ever wise Oprah said “You can have it all. Just not all at once”.

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