You know when you have that great plan – to quit your job and start your own business (yay!), or move across the country for a new life (yay!), build your own house (yay!), or to give online dating a crack after many years solo (yay!) – And you are all excited about it …..And then a well-meaning friend pours a heap of cold water over it. How it’s never going to work. It’s a stupid plan. What are you thinking? Do you not realise just how wrong that could go?
And then…almost in an instant, you feel deflated, the excitement draining out of you faster than a punctured balloon. And that grand plan just gets chalked up to something you never did, even though every cell in your body was screaming for it. It just becomes a wish, rather than a dream, a goal with a plan and a deadline. It becomes a regret. A coulda, woulda, shoulda. And time rolls by. And nothing changes.
From such stuff regrets are made.
Here’s the thing you need to know when you are contemplating big, bold, brave new moves:
1. Just because someone else thinks it’s a bad idea, does not in fact mean it’s a bad idea.
It just means they don’t agree. That’s okay. You don’t have to agree. They may have some useful information for you – great. Let’s have that. Throw it in the mix. But if all they have for you is a broadcast of their own fears and insecurities – that is not fact – and that has minimal bearing on the worthiness of YOUR idea, for YOU, in YOUR life.
2. Be judicious about who you share your bright shiny dream with.
Especially when it’s new and delicate and tiny. Protect it, nurture it, invest in it, and make sure you have only like-minded souls in on the plan whilst it is in its embryonic stages. Telling the wider world at the start can kill your plan off with negative energy before it’s even started. Keep your inner circle tight and positive, especially in the early stages.
3. The more you have your own approval the less you need anyone else’s.
Do you like your plan? Do you FEEL your plan, in your body, your body feels strong and exhilarated when you think about it? Do you approve of the course of action? Are you a sensible adult who can make rational decisions? Yep – well in that case – most important approval to be seeking IS YOUR OWN – the more you have your own approval, the less you will be seeking it in others. If you are flapping around seeing external endorsement for your plan all the time, consider the fact that the gap you are feeling is that you haven’t done enough of your own work first. Get clear on the level of your own approval first. Get back to basics – do what you need to do to be your own number one supporter first, stop expecting all that approval from outside.
4. People’s opinions are just that – opinions – NOT FACTS.
They might speak them to you like they are the truth – but actually – newsflash – they are just an opinion and, given it’s your life we are talking about here, I am going to give the deciding vote to you. Your opinion on what’s best for you and your life, trumps theirs every time.