This week is part 2 of my “How to stop negative people from bursting your bubble” blog. Read the first part of this blog here.
5. Get qualified expert opinion that you can use with discernment.
This is expert opinion that you are probably paying for or is at a professional level at least. Maybe it’s your Bank Manager, or it’s an architect, or it’s the coordinator of the teacher training course. Ask lots of questions – resolve your doubts in qualified opinion and facts. Get as much data as you need, refine it, ask questions, and then use it with discernment.
6. When people pour cold water on your shiny new plan, it often says waaaaaaaaaay more about where they are at in life than it does about your plan.
Basically – it’s their stuff they are projecting. So, maybe they are really risk adverse and so the idea of selling up and moving to the country or changing careers radically is terrifying for THEM. That’s fine, for THEM – but it doesn’t mean those moves are inherently risky or terrifying in any way for YOU. Also – it can bring up a load of insecurities – say you do sign up to do that marathon or whatever, then that can make them feel like they should get their ass off the couch too, and they don’t want to be your fat friend. It might be completely subconscious and unintentional, but your shiny new plan is knocking up against their own insecurities, and they don’t want to take action themselves. It would be altogether much easier if you just put your trainers away and didn’t do the marathon after all, thanks very much. To calm their own insecurities the easiest thing for them is if you shelve your plan.
7. There are some reeeeeeeealy change resistant people out there. Like really into retaining their grip on the status quo.
If you start changing stuff it can mess with other people’s world view. It has a flow on impact on them, which they don’t like. Again, this can be completely subconscious and unintentional, and come from good-hearted people who really think they are helping you out highlighting a heap of pitfalls you haven’t even realised. Actually it’s much more about their own resistance to change. Which is fine – but again – that belongs to THEM. What belongs to you here? Ah…that’s right – you brand new shiny plan! Well – best you keep your focus on that then, and leave the change resistance to them.
8. Trust your Gut.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – your body is a really wise guide. It will be whispering to you if this plan of yours is a good idea or not. You will KNOW, deep down, if it’s the right call for you. Listen to your gut instinct. It is a far truer and wiser guide than any external person’s well-meaning opinion. Listen to your gut, it knows. Trust it. Your body will never let you down.
So – of course the ideal is that when we are about to make change or go with an exciting new plan or way of life, that all the people around us heartily agree and are on board 100%. That there is a Mexican wave of approval echoing around us. The likelihood of course is that there won’t be. Some people will be on board, and some people will not. And you know what, that’s totally okay. Trust yourself, trust your own capability to do really sound due diligence (and actually do it) (seriously, be smart, do the numbers, take the tests, work the budget, whatever it is), then in the end trust in your gut instinct. Because I will tell you this for sure:
Some of the best decisions in life look the craziest to other people, but end up being the most rewarding choices of our life.
Be Bold. Be Brave. Trust Yourself. You know what is best for you. Trust in your own wisdom.