How to get what you want in 2014: 7 questions you need to ask yourself

7 questions you need to ask yourselfBrand shiny New Year. Nothing like it, is there? A clean fresh sheet to be filled with our hearts desires! We all get to be reborn at New Year; it’s a special cleansing time. Transformational energy is in the air, and it’s infectious. How can we best harness that energy to set up an amazing year for ourselves? Traditionally of course we set some New Year’s Resolutions. Don’t do this anymore. Do more of that.  And so on.

Well you know me: I never like to go about things in the obvious way! I like to dig a little deeper. And that’s what I’d like for you too this year. Instead of immediately setting goals or resolutions (which have inevitably fallen by the wayside by months end) I’d like you to dig a little deeper first. Dig down to the core values that you want to enhance, support and honour this year to start the process. If the goal or resolution that comes out of that is still “lose 8 kg’s” or “learn to salsa” that’s absolutely perfect, but a little time spent firstly connecting with, reevaluating, re-prioritising your values will allow you to make those goals happen with ease rather than the equally traditional force and then abandonment of the goal before January has even ended. When we have Spiritual Fuel in the tank, it propels us effortlessly towards our goal, less willpower, less grind. Who doesn’t want that?!

So, here are some questions to help you set some Resolutions With Spiritual Fuel.

Q1. What am I most proud of in 2013




eg. Had regular date nights no matter what/ Got promoted/ ran a marathon

Q2. Why? Try and detail why exactly those things were important to you. Why did that matter?




eg. Regularly prioritised marriage and relationship/ I’ve worked hard for it / Because I got fit

Q3.  Why? Why does THAT matter to you? What important about that? What does that mean to you?




eg. A happy marriage is the most important thing in my life, I feel loved and safe / I feel valued and respected and more confident in my work/ Because I challenged myself and achieved something I don’t think I could, I feel proud.

Okay, so you will have dug down now to the core values that resonate most for you. Can you see how the factual statement we start with (“got promoted”) once we start delving down with the “why” will eventually end up in an “I feel” statements. That’s all we are every trying to get to. That’s why we want ANYTHING. That’s why we set any goal or resolution. It’s because we want to FEEL a certain way in the future. For success our goals and resolutions need to resonate with this deep feeling state we want to create.

Q4. How do I want to FEEL in 2014? What emotional states do I want to feel most often? Why do I want to feel them?

a)    I want to feel ____________________________________________

b)    I want to feel ____________________________________________

c)    I want to feel ____________________________________________

Eg. I want to feel attractive. I want to like my body. I want to feel fun and excitement. I want to feel connected and heard. I want to feel in control. I want to feel challenged. I want to feel proud. I want to feel at peace. I want to feel calm.

Q5. What thought patterns support these emotion states? Sometimes life is busy and the way ahead is hard, what can I say to myself to keep myself on track?

Remember, what we feel (emotion) comes DIRECTLY from what we think. Thought generates emotion. It’s literally that simple.

So determining some helpful thought patterns in advance will support you through the whole year to get the outcome you want. For example if you are thinking “Losing weight is so hard, nothing every works for me” the emotion that generates is despondency, and it leads directly out of the gym and to the fridge. If your thought pattern is “I am a woman who takes great care of herself, who honours her body. That is who I am” then that creates an energy of empowerment. That empowering energy creates actions of making healthy choices in terms of food, exercise, rest and relaxation.

So, who are you?  Here are some ideas to get you started: You are woman/man who what? I am a woman who puts her health first/ I am a woman who makes time to relax and have fun with the family because I believe these years are precious and the washing up can wait/ I am a woman who is great at her job and knows its safe to speak up and shine/ I am a woman who is deeply in love and nurtures her relationship/I am a woman who takes amazing care of her finances/ I am a woman who revels in incredible self care/ I am a woman who….

a) I am a woman who _________________________________________

b) I am a woman who _________________________________________

c) I am a woman who _________________________________________

Cool, right?

Q6. So, that’s who you are, who you want to be in 2014. That’s your deep value set. That’s the truth of what you need to be happy and fulfilled in 2014. That’s the tough stuff done! It’s all easy from now! What actions – goals – resolutions are in line with the above?

For instance, one way to demonstrate and live the truth of the value “I am a woman who is great at her job and knows it’s safe to speak up and shine” could be to set a goal or resolution to launch a particular initiative at work, take ownership of a project, or to book a meeting with boss to discuss a pay review. What we are looking for is actions and goals that are in alignment with the woman you want be this year.

List them here:

a) One way I can be a woman who _______________________________ is to be/say/learn/buy/ask/do/start  _______________________________

a) One way I can be a woman who _______________________________ is to be/say/learn/buy/ask/do/start  _______________________________

a) One way I can be a woman who _______________________________ is to be/say/learn/buy/ask/do/start  _______________________________

Q7. Make your resolutions baby!  

Resolutions at their heart are about commitment. To self. To others. Take what you have learned above and craft it into 3 commitments. 3 promises for the woman you are, and will be this year.

I promise to move my body every day. I promise to start a savings scheme. I promise to speak up in the team meeting. I promise to turn my phone off and do story time four days a week. I promise to create time for love and connection. I promise to train 4 times a week for a marathon. I promise to respect my body with my food choices.

What do you need to promise to be the woman you are? These are your Resolutions with Spiritual Fuel.

a) Because I am a woman who _________________________________  I promise to ______________________________________________

b) Because I am a woman who _________________________________  I promise to ______________________________________________

c) Because I am a woman who _________________________________  I promise to ______________________________________________

Boom. Take the time to do this exercise. It’s well worth the time investment  – most resolutions fail – why – because they are not connected to deep values, so there is no power to fuel their progress when life gets busy or stressed. When we align a resolution with the person we want to be, making the right choices is EASY. Of course you keep you resolutions, you are after all, a woman to keeps her word to herself

Wishing you the most fantastic 2014, I know it’s going to be a special one,

positive balance, Louise Thompson, wellbeing, life coach,

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