The Epiphany That Has Changed My Relationship with Money FOREVER

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I’m gonna tell you about a recent epiphany I had around money recently. Has totally rocked my world and completely changed my relationship with how money flows in and out of my life very much for the better.

Before I tell you all about it I want you to make a quick note  – yes right now, just it scribble down, right now  – list three things you have bought recently that were expensive. That’s it. Done? Okay – let’s go:

I’ve had some biggish expenses lately. A flight or two here. Vets bills there. An expensive restaurant. A larger than expected grocery run.  A much loved supplier’s invoice that was higher than I thought it would be. You know, every day buying stuff stuff.

I realised last week I was saying a certain phrase a lot. I mean A. LOT. And it was making me feel kinda shitty and resentful about paying for ANY OF THIS STUFF. Which, given it’s all just every day stuff, bought to make my world go round seems a big emotional charge. After all I am purchasing stuff of one form or another every single day of the week – so the slightly resentful paying out of dollars was really taking the edge off my day almost every day!

So – what was this phrase I was continually repeating? One minute and I’ll tell you.  I just want to say I was repeating this phrase not just in my mind – but out loud too! To anyone who would listen! Whoever was in the shop with me! Or random person in the queue! Or stray shop assistant! Anyone!! Before you call me crazy – I bet it’s something you find yourself repeating multiple times a day/week too.

What I was saying over and over on rinse and repeat was:

“It’s so expensive!”

“It’s so expensive!”  – muttered in response to the price of eggs, international airfares, and pretty much everything in-between.

See – I know you say that too.

Now – here is my revelation. I’m going to step you towards the moment the penny dropped for me:

  1. Saying “It’s so expensive!” continually (internally and externally) doesn’t actually make the thing ANY FREAKING CHEAPER! It just makes me feel shitty about spending the money.
  2. I have CHOSEN to spend this money in this manner. I could have made a different choice. I didn’t. So this therefore by default must be the best way for me to spend these dollars otherwise I would have chosen something else. Why feel bad about that?
  3. I love money flowing in – it would also be healthy to love it flowing out. How can I love money that comes TO me, but not money I spend? It’s all just money.
  4. It’s not expensive. It’s only expensive if that is the label I choose to attach to the organic granola bar/friends birthday present/camel ride across the Sahara.
  5. I can choose to attach a different label. What is more true? What feels better about the COMPLETELY NATURAL flow of money through me and out to other people who sell me fine things I want?

Well it’s this.

It’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

I’m going to say that again so you get the full weight of it: 

It’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

Those vets’ bills? They are not expensive – they are expansive. They actively EXPAND the amount of joy in my life because my darling boy cat Rio has the care he needs to be fit and well at the ripe old age of 20.

It’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

That international flight? It’s not expensive – it’s expansive. The amount of joy and connection I get from spending time with the people I love who happen to live in other countries – that creates memories that nourishes me for a lifetime. What could be more expansive that that?

It’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

That fancy pants meal in the swanky restaurant. That wasn’t expansive it was expansive. I got to taste mind blowing food which expanded my palate. I got to create a beautiful evening with someone I care about – that has expanded the joy in my life that day and ongoing.

It’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

That suppliers invoice that was higher than I expected? Well actually they did give me a heads up I just chose to ignore it and hope it wouldn’t happen! I love working with them and they have done great things to make my business easier for you lovely readers to interact with. The easier I can serve you – the better. Enhancing my valued and loved clients and readers experience? That’s certainly expansive!

It’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

See. See how this epiphany works?

It. Changes. EVERYTHING.

Try it for yourself.

Those school fees? Well they are giving your child the best education you can choose. You have chosen the best environment for them given your means. It gives the people you love the most the best educational foundation you are capable of that will underpin their future.

That’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

The electricity bill? For all the light and heat and interwebby wifi in your home all month? My brother lives in Zimbabwe and they have intermittent electricity – can go off for days a time with no warning – honestly – he would think a $200 electricity bill was a gift for uninterrupted service that allowed all the family’s needs to be taken care of day or night.

That’s not expensive. It’s expansive.

The fancy organic granola bar? Well you are choosing to fuel your body with the best. We are lucky that someone cares enough to make the bars and distribute them where they can be easily purchased. Your body is the moving temple of your soul. Taking care of it is a priority. That granola bar expands your health and vitality.

That’s not expensive. It’s expansive.


Try it, sweet pea, try it.



These few words, uttered like a mantra, have absolutely changed the amount of joy in my life. Also, I swear I seem to have more money too. More money flows in because it is not blocked with resentment on the way out. It’s a whole new way to interact with money and the stuff I would have been buying ANYWAY! Spend money with resentment, or spend money with joy?

I’ll take a side serve of joy every day.

Louise Thompson, wellbeing coach

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