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2022 Energy Boosters My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Need more sunshine in your pocket?

Sometimes (actually most of the time!) self-care can be SIMPLE…for example….

 

It’s less sunny in the winter (duh!) which has all sorts of impact on our delicately balanced circadian & ultradian biorhythms that govern our body’s performance & moods.

 

Despite the very real impact of the seasons on our physiology, life does not stop – we continue our commitments & obligations with no adjustment whatsoever to the very real seasonal impact on our body and mind.

 

Our internal rhythms may change quite significantly yet we expect – of others and ourselves – to continue with the demands of life as if nothing is any different.

 

One of the biggies here is the amount of sunlight we get.

 

Sunlight is a significant provider of Vitamin D in our bodies, as well as being involved in the regulation of serotonin (happy hormone) & melatonin (sleep regulating hormone). It’s also crucial to our mood & sleep levels.

 

Feeling a bit blue in the winter is a definite sign to try to get more blue sky in your day.

 

The obvious and fuhreee choice is, if you can work your day around it, to try & get a walk in at lunchtime. Go grab your sushi from the place four blocks away so you can get in your 15 minutes of sun rays.

 

Other options include checking out light boxes, lamps & alarm clocks that wake you with simulated natural sunlight, there are some excellent ones on the market.

 

My preferred option for a sunshine injection however, is obviously to get on a plane & head for the sun if time and budget allow & get in a winter sunshine break. For health reasons, of course!

 

Today, your self-care mission is to get at least 15 minutes of sunshine, and know you are doing great things for your body and mind as you make it happen. All the small things add up.

 

PS.  All small self-care actions ADD UP. They have a cumulatively positive effect on your body and mind. You can get 101 (very satisfyingly tickable! ✅) ideas in my new book 101 Self-Care Ideas that are not that are not “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath! Click here to get inspiration and snappy action on tap. Did I mention it was tickable? So motivating! ✅

 

{ NB: If you think you might be suffering from a case of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) you should visit your GP ASAP. A continually super low mood in winter can require medical intervention.}

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2022 Good Enough Love your body My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

Listen up! We’ve been sold a Big Fat Lie about Self-Care. BIG. Huge!

Little bit of a myth buster today…

We’ve (and I mean YOU!) been sold a lie that self-care looks super nice and fluffy. That it looks like pedicures, bubble baths and avo on toast. That it smells of bubblegum and candyfloss, and it lives, mainly on Insta, striking a well-lit pose.  I know you know what I’m talking about. Self-care is BIG bucks: there are a LOT of vested interests in telling you that THIS perfectly manicured, utterly passive image, is what self-care looks like.

Let me tell you something from coaching thousands and thousands of smart women to lead their healthiest, happiest lives peppered with continual personal growth:

Real self-care is actually really ACTIVE: it’s WORK.  And sometimes it’s really HARD. And it pretty much always doesn’t look pretty.

Real self-care doesn’t come with a pink bow on it – real self-care looks like this:

  • Sitting down and making a spreadsheet of all your debts and figuring out some sort of payment plan that will start to release you from crushing financial stress – THAT my friend, is not sexy, but it IS self-care.
  • Walking away from that oh so gorgeous soulmate of a man, with the abs and the flowers and the smile, who also never turns up when he says, lets you down continually and intermittently ghosts – THAT, my friend, IS self-care.
  • Scheduling a meeting with your boss to talk through your responsibilities and workload, and remuneration in a well prepared, confident, assertive way – THAT, my friend, that is self-care all the way.
  • Politely saying no thanks to that girl’s get-together that inevitably makes you feel rubbish and that you have to compete and yes you have known each other from school but they just don’t really get you anymore, but deciding not to go this year – THAT is self-care.

👉 Calling ahead to the dinner party host to explain you are doing a particular health-related eating programme that you are really committed to sticking to, even at her event, and working out a few easy menu items that she can prepare or you can bring – THAT right there, is self-care.

Here’s the thing:

Self-care doesn’t always look like what’s EASY.

Self-care is unlikely to be something that is PASSIVE.

And it’s usually not INDULGENT.

It’s not that indulgence is bad. Far from it – but bubble baths…they only feel indulgent when you are lying there knowing you can afford your mortgage.

Don’t mistake an enjoyable indulgence for self-care. Enjoy the indulgence, of course! Enjoy that good passive bubbly stuff that puts the cherry on the top of life – but don’t mistake it for the real WORK of caring for your beautiful self.

People wonder why they have a massage or spend the day at the spa, essentially “doing self-care”, but then basically feel exactly the same about themselves, their body, and their life once they have left the spa and got home.

This is why. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲! 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. Indulgence feels gooooooooddddd, (and I’m all for it) but – and this is the really important thing – it only feels good IN THE MOMENT.

Self-care? REAL self-care? My friends, real self-care is often HARD WORK in the moment.

It’s about change.

About challenge.

About TRUTH.

But – here’s the kicker – It LASTS.

When you genuinely do what you need to do to really CARE for yourself – you feel better not just that day, but day after day after day.

Remember this:

𝗜𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲.

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺, 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻.

 

PS. Switch up your self-care with 101 ideas guaranteed to make a REAL difference to your mood, your mind, your body and your LIFE with a copy of my brand-new digital book ‘101 Self Care Ideas that are NOT “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath’. For inspiration and motivation to tap into whenever you need it, grab your copy right here to see what it will do for you.

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2022 My book Self Care and Self Love Self Care Sunday

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

If you are having a rough ride at the moment this one’s for you…

There is no more important time to be taking good care of yourself than during a crisis. Unfortunately, this is generally when it feels the hardest to do it!

  • It’s difficult to connect with eating nourishing food being a priority when you have suffered such a huge loss that nothing can fill it. However, improved self-care is exactly what we need to do at this time.
  • We can meet adversity with more resolve when we have slept well, have eaten well, are hydrated, and up and dressed ready to face the world, even when we just want to hide under the duvet and hope it will all go away.
  • Going back to basics with sleep/nutrition/exercise non-negotiables gives us a platform of physical resiliency to deal with whatever faces us emotionally.​​​​
  • A crisis situation is what it is; but it is always going to be better to face it with a good night’s sleep and a full belly than being wired and tired.

When life has thrown a curve ball and looking after yourself feels like more than you can handle right now

  1. Reach out for support. People care. They WILL help you. At my darkest times I have been amazed at the kindness of friends gently shepherding my self-care forwards. Looking after me when I can’t do it myself.
  2. Don’t try and do All The Things. Just doing ONE piece of self-care will feel empowering and that you are controlling SOMETHING, when life itself feels out of control. Just do ONE good thing for yourself. Don’t set the bar too high. Just do ONE.
  3. If you need ideas, you can get my book (it’s so pretty and easy to use you will love it) and tick off one new self-care action each day. You don’t even need to have the energy to think of a thing, I’ve done it for you, and broken it down into 8 different categories of self-care. All you need to do is ONE a day. They will all gently move you forwards.

You can get it here: 101 Self-Care Ideas

Be good to you.

 

PS. One of the things readers have loved is the “tickable” format on the 101 Self Care Ideas, gently motivating to see your progress. Especially if you can’t affect much on other areas of life right now, you CAN do this small thing to replenish yourself. You can grab it here.

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2022 My book Self Care and Self Love

Healing from what hurt you is NOT linear…

Today I want to talk about what happens when we are hurt…and the hurt goes on for a long time.

When we (and those around us) wonder how, or indeed, if we will ever move on from it.

It often takes the form of the question

“Why aren’t you over it yet?”

Far more likely this is the voice in your own head, rather than the unkind words of someone else.

They still hurt though.

When we are in pain we just want to be on the other side of it. To have “moved on”. To have successfully “put it behind us”. Be like it never happened. Be the person we were before what happened to us happened to us.

Thing is, it pretty much never works like that.

After a grief or trauma we don’t really get the luxury of totally moving on. Somethings we will always carry, however much we would rather not! They will be forever a part of our personal history.

Instead if we manage our expectations that we will be changed, but know that we have the capacity to grow around it, make space for it, and show up as a new expanded version of ourselves. That we can, and will, be happy again. That this healing is a process that happens in fits and starts rather than a straight line.

Some days we make a great leap forwards. Other days just getting through the damn day is an achievement in itself. Healing is a winding path away from what hurt us. It’s not linear.

“Why aren’t you over it yet?”

Because you are not a robot, dear heart.

Be kind with yourself and the words you use in your own head.

Take all the time you need. ?

 

PS: If you are hurting, you can do one positive thing for yourself today and that it nurture yourself with a copy of my book 101 Self-Care Ideas that are not that are not “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath!

It won’t solve your heartache, my lovely, BUT it will create that little movement forwards, that positive momentum of something GOOD, for YOU that is a step on the healing journey. Simply put, it’s a decision for you to care for you, when someone else has not.

You can treat yourself to a copy right here

 

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