Today I want to talk about what happens when we are hurt…and the hurt goes on for a long time.

When we (and those around us) wonder how, or indeed, if we will ever move on from it.

It often takes the form of the question

“Why aren’t you over it yet?”

Far more likely this is the voice in your own head, rather than the unkind words of someone else.

They still hurt though.

When we are in pain we just want to be on the other side of it. To have “moved on”. To have successfully “put it behind us”. Be like it never happened. Be the person we were before what happened to us happened to us.

Thing is, it pretty much never works like that.

After a grief or trauma we don’t really get the luxury of totally moving on. Somethings we will always carry, however much we would rather not! They will be forever a part of our personal history.

Instead if we manage our expectations that we will be changed, but know that we have the capacity to grow around it, make space for it, and show up as a new expanded version of ourselves. That we can, and will, be happy again. That this healing is a process that happens in fits and starts rather than a straight line.

Some days we make a great leap forwards. Other days just getting through the damn day is an achievement in itself. Healing is a winding path away from what hurt us. It’s not linear.

“Why aren’t you over it yet?”

Because you are not a robot, dear heart.

Be kind with yourself and the words you use in your own head.

Take all the time you need. 💛

 

PS: If you are hurting, you can do one positive thing for yourself today and that it nurture yourself with a copy of my book 101 Self-Care Ideas that are not that are not “drink more water” or have another damn bubble bath!

It won’t solve your heartache, my lovely, BUT it will create that little movement forwards, that positive momentum of something GOOD, for YOU that is a step on the healing journey. Simply put, it’s a decision for you to care for you, when someone else has not.

You can treat yourself to a copy right here