I hear lots of talk on the socials that people are either blessings or lessons. Which I like.
Just because something is a cliché doesn’t mean it’s not true. Equally, just because something didn’t unfold the way you thought it might, doesn’t mean it was a waste of time or energy, it can still be a blessing in disguise or a lesson, or sometimes both.
The following 3 questions will help you sort your relationships into Blessings and Lessons – plus, one very important set of people to be clear on at the end!
People Category 1. Who helped you when the chips were down?
These are your blessings. These people stand out a mile and if you can count a handful amongst your nearest and dearest, you are blessed indeed.
If you can unequivocally answer, “Who would you call in the middle of the night and know they would 110% be there for you, no matter what” you have your blessings.
The ones that will stand up and be counted for you and with you. They are there for the good times and you bring out the best in each other, but when your back is up against the wall they stand with you shoulder to shoulder.
Treat these people like the gold they are. They are your blessings.
People Category 2. Who left you when the going got tough?
Possibly not so much left as sort of….drifted quietly away. Probably they still do a few token likes on your Facebook posts or whatever, but they are notable by their absence when you really need them.
They are sooo busy, of course. But then, we are all busy….we make a priority for what and for who is truly important to us. Being ghosted, especially when things are tough, under the guise of busy? I know you deserve better than that. You know it too.
Keep the emotional investment low or have a strategic unfriend of your contacts and clean house with your relationship space. Bless them and release them.
Personally, I choose that if someone can’t step up and be a good friend in times of trouble offline, then I don’t want them sharing the good times either online or off.
The people that are notable by their absence when the chips are down are bite-sized lessons.
People Category 3. Who put you in the tough position in the first place?
These are your biiiiiiig lessons. Thing is, the tough times are usually courtesy of a significant or close connection either personally or professionally, and so there is a whole heap of commitment, history, family, love and so on wrapped up which means we can find it hard to separate that from the cold hard facts.
If someone repeatedly shows you (possibly quite different to what they say to you) that they are willing to repeatedly put you in harm’s way, believe them. Pain is an excellent teacher: don’t be a slow learner. If there is a lesson to learn, learn it the first time and move forward.
It is said that in good times we get to show people who we are and bad times show us who other people really are. I hope your life is filled with a few lessons (that’s how we grow as people, you can’t miss them all out. Every day is a school day.) but that far more blessings fill your social calendar.
Call one of your blessings today, and let them know you are in their corner too.