Tag: Busyness

I Can’t Find The Time!

Finding Time

My gorgeous client who I will call Maggie, busy lady, juggling work and home and all that good stuff. No different to you or me. As is really common she is struggling to find time to eat healthily and get in some exercise consistently.

“I was going to do it Wednesday but I couldn’t find time”

“I just haven’t been able to find the time to get to class.”

“I just have to find time to do that. I’ll find time next week”.

Yeah yeah yeah. I have heard that before!

Here’s the thing.

Time is not something you find down the back of the sofa. Time is not something you can rummage for at the bottom of your purse.

Time cannot be found. It also cannot be made. It’s not something you whip up in the kitchen like a batch of cupcakes.

Time is just time. We all have exactly the same. 24 hours in a day. No more no less. No matter how complicated or full of responsibilities our lives may be you get exactly the same allocation.

All you can do with time is prioritise it.

You prioritise time. That’s what you do with time.

Think about money. If you want a really healthy pension or good medical insurance or enjoy having a nice house or whatever, what do you do? You prioritise that payment, on direct debit so it goes out on payday each month. If good retirement or medical cover is important to you, you prioritise that money. The mortgage or the insurance gets paid first no matter what. Then you figure out what choices you are going to make that month with the money that’s left. Beans on toast. Island holiday. New shoes. No new shoes. Whatever. The point is you have prioritised what you have deemed most important first. It’s a non-negotiable, and after a while it’s automatic. You don’t even think about it. That money is allocated first because it’s a priority. You don’t try and find the money for it at the end of the month when you have been on trips to the zoo and eaten out and been to the supermarket. You don’t look down the back of the sofa for mortgage money.

Prioritsing time for your wellbeing is the same. If its what you want, what you genuinely want, then genuinely prioritise the time for it. Make it a non-negiotiable in the diary and choose to not do something else. Be okay with that choice. It’s your time. It’s your choice to make about what you prioritise.

Stop looking for time. Stop trying to find it. It’s not hiding!

The truth is you already have it.

Tags 2020, Busyness, flexible thinking, Life work balance, time limited

2020 Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Self Care and Self Love Simplicity and Time Management

5 Things I no longer have time for…

Post author By Support Elf
Post date June 16, 2020
No Comments on 5 Things I no longer have time for…

Bet you can’t guess #3!

You can call it a post-Lockdown burst of clarity, or just getting older and wiser…but here are 5 things I have decided I am done with.

Being Done With feels incredibly relieving and I have a real sense of lightness about it – like having a really nice internal spring clean. What is also incredibly pleasing about being Done With 5 things…is that it opens up SO much emotional capacity, physical space and T I M E to do things I really care about.

I hope it might inspire you to do your own list …what are you Done With?

Here are mine for your inspo!

So, good people, I Am Done With:

Hangovers

So yeah, this is a big one to start with. I’ve been an enthusiastic drinker of alcohol all my adult life. It’s been at the centre of every celebration, commiseration and Friday night since the year dot. It’s been part of the best of times and the worst of times.

My shy, underconfident teenage self used it to make herself feel interesting and to burst through the thick layer of excruciating self-consciousness at house parties. My older self used it to make other people feel interesting at boring dinner and industry parties.

It’s been my constant companion in my ever-changing social setting all my adult life. Not so much the last 10 years or so, but y’know, a few wines a few times a week. A very normal amount. Certainly not a problem amount, just a few wines, like you do.

Then – in October last year – after one too many – I decided to Break Up With Booze. That I was D.O.N.E. For 30 days. But then…here we are in June – and I am STILL DONE! I’ve done sober birthdays, Christmas, black-tie speaking events, weddings, you name it I have done it with nothing stiffer than a soda and twist of lime.

And do you know what’s been the MOST surprising thing about it? After DECADES of social and convivial drinking, the absolute SHOCKER to me as been HOW FREAKING EASY IT HAS BEEN TO JUST STOP.

Just like that. I’ve had a drink on 3 occasions, and that’s IT. Not been drunk at all. Not even tipsy. Essentially, I have raised a few glasses in toast and that’s it. And it’s been AWESOME.

I LOVE not drinking. I had NO IDEA that would happen. I LOVE having more energy and sparkle. I LOVE how much longer the weekends feel.

It’s taken my breath away how EASY it’s been, and how I have ZERO desire to go back. I’ll have the odd glass a few times a year if I want, or not if I don’t, but that’s it.

I’ve learned a LOT about doing it the easy way, the psychology of embracing a hangover-free life – and I’m going to teach it in a Sober October course later in the year – you can check out my Academy here if you are curious. It really is about doing it EASY, without force, and I’m excited to teach that in-depth later in the year.

Being Over Busy All The Time

Okay – second thing I am just DONE WITH is Being Busy All The Time. Being that person who is racing from one thing to the next all the time. Feeling like I am never “finished” and that there is always one more post to write, one more of my voluntary commitments that needs attention, something I should be doing for someone, some chore I should be on top of.

I have taken the enforced state of No Obligation during Lockdown to really prune my obligations. It’s meant making some hard decisions about what to let go of and gracefully release. And – do you know what…it’s EXTRAORDINARY!

Getting to the end of the day and feeling a sense of accomplishment that I have created all that I promised myself this day – but – that I am done for the day, and that things are not hanging over me. That there is more time and space to enjoy what I am actually creating (writing this for y’all, for example) rather than just wanting to get it ticked off so I can get onto the next thing.

I teach a concept called Life Maths to my clients and Academy members – and, y’know what people: IT WORKS. Less truly is more. Less obligations, less To Do’s equals more space more depth, more connection, more learning, more enjoyment, more fun. Life is just BETTER.

Doing All The Things (just because you are capable and you can) is totally overrated, and I am cheerfully Done With It.

Life Maths is included in my 30 Day course Goals With Souls course in the Academy – you can dive in today for just $39 if you want to create more space for what you want in life.

Ironing

Just – nah. Life is too short to iron. I only buy stuff that doesn’t need ironing. And I’ve got rid of my ironing board. Hurrah for me.

Not feeling “cool enough”

I think this has been another benefit of lockdown – because NO ONE has been doing anything, all the FOMO just disappeared for us all. Poof! SO NICE!

It’s made me realise that actually a lot of the things I enjoy – ARE NOT COOL – BUT I DON’T CARE! Yes, I superlove catching up with a friend with an expensive mocktail in a nice bar wearing cute shoes…but …also…I really like switching my brain off and doing a jigsaw. SO uncool – right?! But…I’m done with caring. I like what I like. And I’m all in with it.

Bring on the jigsaws. I’m all about it.

Yoga. Yes, love it. Completely reconnecting with it.

Binging on Personal Development books and courses.

Being coached. Yes yes yes.

10,000 Steps a Day.

Mmmmm I know, that’s the Gold Standard number of steps we should all be doing every day. And if you are not, you are some sort of sedentary sloth-like loser. Well, y’know what – I am not buying into that anymore. The right number – for me – is 5000.

If I do more than that – that’s a bonus (and most days I do) – but I am not going to let the Steps Police live in my head when they are not aware of all other good stuff I do each day for my body.

I don’t want to feel BAD about my steps – when I am so active in a variety of ways each day that don’t get counted (except by my BODY, which – DUH – is the only ACTUAL place that they DO count!) – and I REFUSE to be held captive to a baseline that was set by a Japanese marketing agency in the ’60s (google it).

10000 steps DOESN’T WORK FOR ME, I am – quite cheerfully – done with it.

We use a much more evolved system in the Wellbeing Warriors Academy which you are welcome to dive into the two 30 Day courses on it, on-demand here called Witness The Fitness, and NEAT Up.

So – that’s my hot 5 things I am done with:

Hangovers
Being Busy All The Time
Ironing
Not feeling “cool” enough
10000 Steps a Day

What are YOU done with? I’d love to know.

You can find me on Facebook and / Instagram right here:

And you can work with me daily here.

Tags 2020, being present, Busyness, challenging beliefs, flexible thinking, high energy, Life work balance, Reduce Stress

Live Happy Inspiration Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love

Mindful or MindFULL?

Time and again clients will say they don’t feel connected to the joy that should be in their lives but somehow, mysteriously, isn’t there.

They know they should feel it. That life looks like it should be joyful from the outside. Nice house / job / partner / and so on. Healthy. Enough money. And so on. All the essential building blocks are there for a joyful life, but somehow, as they whizz through each busy day: they just don’t feel it.

They might feel overwhelmed. Or stressed. Or tired. Or…(gasp!)…bored. But they don’t feel joyful. The happiness looks like it should be there. But it isn’t.

What’s that about? Maybe you feel it too sometimes? You have pretty much most of your ducks in a row, but…somehow…you are not feeling it.

What’s going on?

I’ll tell you a secret. It’s about presentness and mindfulness, which I realise is the cue for half of you to stop reading with a big, fat zzzzzzzz. Nothing, it seems, is inclined to switch people off quicker than talking about mindfulness. Which is tragic as despite its unsexy brand image, it’s actually the key to a happier, more joyful life; if only we would demystify it and give it a chance.

Because, here’s the thing:

It’s not that the joy isn’t there.

The joy IS there.

But YOU are not.

You are elsewhere.

Either you are in your future or in your past.

If you are recalling something sad or stressful, you are in the past. So, that’s what you will FEEL in the present. Sad or stressed. Not joyful: no matter what you are doing. What your mind is full of is what you will feel.

If you are imagining a situation tomorrow that is worrysome or overwhelming, then that is what you feel in the now. You won’t feel joy right now, you will feel worried because your mind is full of future worries.

How you feel is determined by what your mind is full of (mindful: geddit?) right now, no matter what your body is doing in the present.

Your body might be reading a bedtime story to your child, but if your mind is full of the board meeting that went badly three hours ago, you won’t feel the joy inherent in that moment because you are not in it. Your body is there. Your mind is not.

Your body might be having dinner with Beyonce but if your mind is full of your overwhelming “To Do List” and money worries, then the joy inherent in that bootylicious moment escapes like a wisp of smoke and you will feel overwhelmed not elated.

No matter what happy stuff or circumstance you might be surrounded by, the joy in it is only accessible if your mind is full of it, not just your body being present with it.

You will feel what your mind is full of.

Where did the joy go?

It didn’t go anywhere.

IT was there.

You missed it.

YOU weren’t there.

Simplest step to having more happiness in your life?

Be mindful of where the joy is.

And, it’s always right NOW if you stop and look for it.

Tags being present, Busyness, Mindfulness, positive thinking

High Energy Happiness Live Happy Inspiration

Busyness and Juggling

“I’m so busy!” is the modern war cry. It’s a more common response to “How are you” than the ubiquitous catch-all, “fine”. And we are right – we ARE busy. Busier than ever. Changing economic dynamics means doing more with less for those in the workplace, whether corporate or self-employed, and the eternal juggle of a parent trying to keep all the balls in the air is all too real and well documented.

Modern life is packed with stuff to get done. There are people to see, activities to be organised, money to be made, houses to be cleaned, meals to be cooked, families to be visited, groceries to be bought, clients to be seen, reports to be written, cars to be serviced, miles to be run, and so on. Then, of course, there are all those social media feeds to keep on top of too, right?

Isn’t all this technology supposed to be making our lives easier and more relaxed?

The reality is, even if you are lucky enough to have a great support crew (cleaner, virtual assistant, gardener, etc.) there is still A LOT to do! Life. Is. Busy.

The juggle of modern life is real. Critically, it’s also pretty much inevitable. It’s pretty much the default option of modern living. Being an effective and relaxed juggler involves acceptance. Accepting that a full life of juggling has been actively chosen – we have chosen to fill it with things that take much time, effort, attention – work, children, partners, friends, sport, social activities, and so on. These are all things that are truly important to us, that we are actively choosing to include in our lives. Of course, we are busy!

The path of peace involves embracing the juggle not fighting it. The juggle can be a struggle, or it can be like the real circus jugglers – it can be fun, active, thrilling to pull off! You get to choose the attitude you bring to the elements you have chosen to juggle.

Can you cheerfully strengthen your Juggle Muscle, rather than descend into Juggle Struggle?

If you are feeling overwhelmed and that you are in danger of dropping a ball or two – STOP! And prioritise the balls you have in the air. Number them, 1 through 8/9/10. Then choose to put one or two down (or outsource them if you can) for a while to give you some breathing space.

For example, I previously dropped the mission critical “health + wellbeing” ball so catastrophically (I burned myself out completely with Adrenal Fatigue) that I couldn’t work, at all, for over a year. The “health + wellbeing” ball – that’s the #1 ball (Top 3 at the very least) – that’s not a ball you want to drop! But the “clean and tidy house” well – that’s something you can choose to live with being at 80%, and that you can outsource. It’s a lot easier to live with your house, or your social life, at 80%, than your health – trust me!

So – if you accept the juggle you get to choose and, even more importantly, prioritise, which and how many elements you get to have in the air at any one time. We get to say “I’m so busy!” but with a smile rather than a sigh. It means we have chosen to fill our lives with many things that are truly important to us. So, assess what comprises your busyness. Be ruthless and put down a couple of balls if you need to. Make smart and empowered choices. As the ever wise Oprah said “You can have it all. Just not all at once”.

Tags Busyness, decision making, Juggle, priorities

Reduce Stress

End the Juggle Struggle

“I’m so busy!” is the modern war cry. It’s a more common response to “How are you” than the ubiquitous catch all “fine”. And we are right – we ARE busy. Busier than ever. Changing economic dynamics means doing more with less for those in the workplace, whether corporate or self employed, and the eternal juggle of a parent trying to keep all the balls in the air is all too real, and well documented.

Modern life is packed with stuff to get done, people to be seen, activities to be organised, money to be made, houses to be cleaned, meals to be cooked, families to be visited, groceries to be bought, clients to be seen, reports to be written, cars to be serviced, miles to be run and so on. Then of course there are all those social media feeds to keep on top of too, right? Isn’t all this technology supposed to be making our life easier and more relaxed? The reality is even if you are lucky enough to have a great support crew (cleaner, virtual assistant, gardener, etc) there is still A LOT to do! Life. Is. Busy.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and that you are in danger of dropping a ball or two – STOP, and prioritise the balls you have in the air. Number them, 1 through 8/9/10. Then choose to put one or two down (or outsource them if you can) for a while to give you some breathing space, For example, I previously dropped the mission critical “health + wellbeing” ball so catastrophically (I burned myself out completely with Adrenal Fatigue) that I couldn’t work, at all, for over a year. The “health + wellbeing” ball – that’s the #1 ball (Top 3 at the very least) – that’s not a ball you want to drop! But the “clean and tidy house” well – that’s something you can choose to live with being at 80%, and that you can outsource. It’s a lot easier to live with your house, or your social life, at 80%, than your health – trust me!

So – if you accept the juggle you get to choose and, even more importantly, prioritise, which and how many elements you get to have in the air at any one time. We get to say “I’m so busy!” but with a smile rather than a sigh. It means we have chosen to fill our lives with many things that are truly important to us. So assess what comprises your busyness. Be ruthless and put down a couple of balls if you need to. Make smart and empowered choices. As the ever wise Oprah said “You can have it all. Just not all at once”.

Tags Busyness, Juggling

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