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2020 Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In New Year Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Self Care and Self Love

Why you DON’T need a “New You” this New Year!

“Happy New Year! Happy New You!”

How many headlines will you see screaming that this month? Too many to count, I suspect – and I also suspect another level of “New You” hysteria given its the turn not just of the year – but of the decade.  It’s going to be “New You”- tastic out there!

Here is my direct take on that noise:

Contrary to a million headlines of “wisdom” – YOU DO NOT NEED A “NEW YOU”. 

The “You” you are is absolutely perfect in your imperfection. Anyone who tells you you are broken in some way is undermining your personal sovereignty. Especially anyone who tells you you are broken in order to sell something.

You are not broken! You, my darling,  are whole and complete.

Life and self-improvement is a PROCESS. A process means it’s ongoing. It doesn’t end until you do. It is never complete.

Life is always in a state of beautiful incompletion.

We are all works in progress. For the whole of our lives.

It is never “done”. It can never be done!

We will be learning and growing into an ever-expanded version of our best self, our whole life. It’s a glorious process of growth.

It’s about expansion and about improvement and inspiration.

It’s about reaching a little higher, being a little braver, asking for a little more. It’s not about fixing something that’s broken.

You are not broken and anyone who tells you you are is lying. Don’t believe them!

A New Year is simply a convenient time to dust off the cobwebs and assess where we are at with our life’s project.

Our work in progress. It’s just a milestone in the journey. A reminder to pause and reflect.

So, this year I am offering you some different kinds of New Year resolutions.

Ones that delight you rather than punish you.

Goals that draw you forward effortlessly in the energy of growth rather than beating you up in the energy of “not quite good enough”.

Principles that lift you up, rather than tear you down for not being smart, thin, fun, rich enough – or whatever.

Because you, you dear reader, are enough.

Make your resolutions something that makes your soul sing not fill you with an increasing creeping feeling of dread.

Resolve toward what makes you grow, not what you want to fix.

Resolve to laugh more in 2020
• Resolve to love more in 2020.
Resolve to smell the roses more in 2020.
• Resolve to connect more in 2020.
Resolve to speak kindly to yourself, with love and compassion, in 2020.
• Resolve to strive for progress not for perfection in 2020.
• Resolve to honour your body and soul in 2020.
• Resolve never to stop growing, learning and expanding in 2020.
Resolve to be all that you can be, the happiest version of yourself in 2020.

That’s what I wish for you. You are not broken. You never were.

Embrace the glorious mess of all that you are and the beauty this year is going to unfold at your feet.

Happy New Year.

Categories
Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Summer time

The 6 Key Questions YOU need to review!

As John Lennon so beautifully sang, “And so this is Christmas….and what have you done?”

Here are some thought starters for you to ponder (perhaps with a journal and a cold beer in hand) over the summer to bring this past year to a considered close and set yourself up for the best of all things in the New Year.

 

  1. Farewell

What would you like to farewell and leave behind this year? What have you outgrown? Perhaps it’s a relationship or a social situation or an obligation. Maybe you feel ready for a new career or a new location. What would you like to farewell and gently close the door on?

 

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  1. Gratitude

What are you most grateful for this past year? What worked out well for you, better perhaps than you anticipated? Who came into your life or stepped up in your life in a way that enhanced it? To what and to whom do you feel appreciative for their contribution to your life this year? Have you told them?

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  1. Accomplishment

What are your proudest achievements this year? Where did you give the most of yourself? When did you push yourself our of your comfort zone? Where and how did you grow? What are your finest accomplishments of the year?

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  1. Lessons

What have you learned this year? About yourself? About others or the world?  What do you want to repeat? Do more of? Less of? What worked? What didn’t? Why? What lessons do you wish to take from this past year?

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  1. Giving and Balance

Where did you give the most of yourself this year? Are you happy with where you put the share of your time, energy and attention? Are there areas where you wish you had invested more? Where do you wish you had given less? Where do you wish you had given more support? Where do you, on reflection, think you could have got more support? What are three ways you would like to balance your time or energy distribution differently in the New Year?

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  1. Highlights

What were the best feeling moments this year? What are the highlights you will remember for life? Who and what made them special and why? What three words sum up this year for you personally?

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Taking time out of the hamster wheel frenzy of doing, to pause and reflect is so important.

Effective change and growth comes from awareness of what’s working for us and what is not.

If we wish for a better tomorrow it is best built on the foundations of the lessons of today.

I hope you can take a little time to just be this holiday season, and reflect on a good year well-lived and to build some anticipation for the brand shiny new one that is about to open up!

Categories
Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Reduce Stress Summer Summer time

Make A Summer Wish List With This Magic Ingredient

There is little more annoying than seeing your Facebook feed jammed with loads of smiling faces at an event you so tooooootally would have gone to, had you only known it was on and got your shizzle together to get tickets!

We are spoiled for choice with events and entertainment at this time of year stretching right through to March and April.

So for your Best Summer take half an hour out of your week now to do your prep, gather your ingredients for your your best summer and head FOMO off at the pass.

You spend half an hour prepping dinner each night; you can find half an hour to prep your best summer!

Think Memory Making.  At it’s very essence that is what will create our best summer. Experiences, both shared and individual.

What would make you look back and smile?

Who is integral to that?

Where is special to you?

What or who do you wish you make time for every year but don’t?

I do this with World Of Wearable Arts every damn year: I forget just how much I want to go until I actually see it all unfolding live and I’ve missed the boat…again!

Not this year: I am getting my booking in now and heading off the FOMO at the pass for 2020.

If all this talk of planning is bringing you out in hives, remember that there is a strange irony to the fact that when we invest a little time and energy upfront in planning the highlights, we ironically seem to have more time, not less, to be spontaneous and grab the opportunities that just come our way in the moment.

Structure magically creates space.

So make a Summer 2019/20 wish list this week.

Share it with the people that matter.

A little planning now not only sets you up for the best summer of shared experiences, but also allows you to luxuriate in one of the most delicious emotional states there is: anticipation.

Anticipation is an instant emotional wellbeing booster.  It allows you to feel good not just doing the thing but for weeks or months ahead you get a little rosy glow as well as some pre-match feel-good chat.

Putting more anticipation into life is an easy way to up your happiness quotient very quickly.

Best summer and feeling good now: what’s not to like about that?!

Categories
Emotional Honesty Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Relationships

Cruel Yule – when Christmas kicks your ass

Not too soon to start talking Christmas Lunch is it, my lovelies? My tree is already up so I reckon it’s fair game.

It’s got political over the years has Christmas Lunch. Who is hosting. Where. What’s to be eaten. Arrival times. Gift expectations. Who is doing the washing up. How soon is it impolite to leave. And I was going to write about that – but then I thought…y’know…you are smart people…you can figure that out. There will be a million bits of advice on how to delegate and bring a plate and whatnot.

Let’s talk about something else that probably won’t be covered: loss at Christmas.

Christmas is generally the most joyful time of year, but for someone going through a hard time it’s hands down the bleakest.

There is something unbelievably emotionally polarising about the festive season. There is nothing like being expected to be happy and jolly to focus the mind on what has been lost.

It is a cruel truth at Yule that for each person bemoaning how many presents they have to buy or wrap, someone else would dearly love to have that special someone to buy for. And, for everyone that loves it – from tinsel to turkey – there is someone who simply can’t wait for it to be over.

Family circumstances change all the time. Death, separation, divorce, estrangement, addiction, depression, emigration. When a season is all about family this can be hard. When you are used to being in the bosom of a family and then find you are suddenly but effectively childless and family-less after drop-off on Christmas Eve, it can be utterly discombobulating, post-divorce. When you are used to Dad cooking his special festive BBQ and he is suddenly not there your whole world is rocked to its core.

If you are in a good place this Christmas then all power to you! Squeeze every ounce of joy from it! But also, take just moment’s pause from the prep. Look up. Listen up. Is there anyone who might benefit from joining you? Someone feeling lonely, displaced, unwelcome? Or is there anyone in your circle you want to check in with and check they are doing okay?

If the thought of Christmas is incredibly confronting for your personal circumstances right now, I’m sorry and I see you. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to those around you. Just because they haven’t offered or haven’t asked you how you are doing does not, repeat NOT, mean they don’t care. Ask for what you need. And, please, accept that hand when it is offered. You are neither a bother or a burden and you are welcome.

We are just at the point now that those who are secretly panicking on the inside about getting through Christmas will really be feeling it, so this week make it your mission to spread a little Christmas cheer ahead of time.

“A rising tide lifts all boats” said J. F. K. The natural joyfulness of the season can lift those who need it most if we all share a little love today.

WHERE TO GET HELP:

If you are worried about your own or someone else’s mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.

OR IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE:

 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• https://www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helpline
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Dream and Goals Emotional Honesty Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love Summer

How to REALLY get a “Beach Body”…

There is an excellent meme that continues to circle about this time of year, year after year, about how to “Get a Beach Body”. It goes like this:

  1. Have a Body
  2. Go to the Beach

Which is all well and good of course, and jolly funny, unless we are secretly having a massive crisis of confidence about our body and we just want to hide inside as the sun comes out.

Improving body image is huge huge huge: and something that is dear to my heart in my coaching Academy. Having women work through the 30-day Self Esteem course and say they have worn a swimsuit or bikini to the beach for the first time in a decade and felt good in their own skin is the most rewarding work in the world. It absolutely thrills me to see that transformation in confidence and happiness.

Everyone deserves to feel at home in their body: it is the only place we have to live so any energy spent hating it rather than loving it is time and energy wasted.

Obviously I can’t replicate a 30-day course of personal growth and transformation in the next 176 words (do waitlist for the Academy if you want the real deal, you can do that here: https://iamawellbeingwarrior.com/wellbeing-warriors/) but I will say if you start focusing on these things it will definitely help.

Do what YOU need to do to feel more confident NOW.

Not when you get to that magical weight or whatever.

What makes you feel even a smidge more confident  – right NOW NOW NOW?

That gorgeous kaftan? Get it.

A pedicure so your feet look bright and beautiful when you see them? Do it.

Stop waiting.

Move towards confidence now.

If you can’t yet love (or even like) your body for how it looks, love your body for what it can DO.

It can, and does, do so much for you.

Concentrate on your capabilities, not your aesthetics.

Celebrate them.

Be proud of them.

And build on them.

Stop focusing on what you are trying to GET from your body, and look at what you are GIVING it instead.

Stop trying to GET a result (thinner / lighter / tighter /younger / etc) and look at what you can consistently GIVE instead as a service.

Give your body kind words.

Give it fresh food.

Give it a walk around the park or a run or a swim in the ocean in the sun.

Revel in what you can give.

Take your body to the beach, feel the sand between your toes and the sun on your skin and enjoy all summer has to offer.

That link for my Academy is below – I can’t tell you how much it will make you feel good on the inside: I believe every woman deserves that: summertime or not!

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Love Your Work Positive Thought Strategy Reduce Stress Summer time

5 smart tips to avoid the cray-cray Christmas Work CRUSH!

Now, there is a kiwi specific cultural phenomenon that happens for those in the workforce in December.

What happens is that every project you have ever touched or been associated with during the previous 11 months (and indeed some that you haven’t) suddenly has to ABSOLUTELY be finished by Christmas Eve, OR THE WORLD WILL END. End, I tell you.

All joking aside, it’s actually super stressful. Due to the fabulously extended January holidays we all enjoy this creates a real pressure cooker environment which can lead to a) massive overwhelm before Christmas b) utterly unrealistic expectations that can never be met c) not enough time for Chrimbo shopping or drinking egg nog with colleagues whilst wearing festive antlers.

Northern Hemisphere peeps will be back at work as usual on the 3rd of January, whilst most Kiwi’s will be drinking cold ones for another 4 weeks, so clearly – we win! No one would want to give up their January. BUT – can we reach it without descending into Xmas Madness?

Here are a few tips you can put into place today:

1. Get really clear, really really clear, that the working world will not in fact end at midday on the 24th December. Do not buy into the madness.

2. Set some expectations NOW. Get ahead of the game whether by a team meeting, or email or whatever. Set some expectations NOW on what you can deliver by when. Communicate with staff / customers / clients / suppliers / colleagues and so on expectation and timelines. Be confident and set your boundaries on what is realistic.

3. Beware the hospital pass. Veeeery common at this time of year is the colleague whistling in a project and making it your problem, when in fact they have sat on it procrastinating since June. Boundaries are required here, people. Don’t let your December get pulled into the madness because someone else has been fluffing about for the last 6 months. Use your “no” judiciously but firmly.

4. Accept some stuff will just not get done before Christmas. This is okay because a) the world will not end (see point 1), and b) it means you have a job to come back to.

5. Make time for some fun. The seriousness of the Xmas Madness can suck the joy out of a normally happy workplace as everyone feels so under the gun with this end of year deadline. Remember that this is the season of goodwill unto all men, and make sure you allow enough space for laughs and thank you’s and celebrations too.

We are still far enough away that you can do some really effective (read: ruthless!) scheduling and expectation management now.

Head off the Xmas Madness at the pass, don’t make it an inevitable part of your working December.

After all you’ve got eggnog and festive antlers to attend to.

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Happiness Live Happy Inspiration Relationships Summer

We MUST catch up before Christmas!

We must catch up before Christmas!” – how often do you hear that in the last few weeks before Christmas?

When there is no actual time to do anything about it?! How many times do YOU say it, when you know there is no way you can really make it happen at that point, and you have a weirdly guilty feeling that you might just have said the exact same thing to them last year?

Okay, so sometimes this is just a social nicety that we say when we know full well we don’t want to really see them, and that they, in return, have no intention of seeing us either. Fine fine. Social niceties make the world a smoother place to navigate. We all know the game.

There are however likely a heap of people you genuinely DO want to see. And for one reason or another, your priorities have slipped over the winter and the social connection has not been there during the hunkering down period.

The quality of our life is largely defined by the quality (and quantity) of our social connections and interactions. Those connections give our life richness, purpose and meaning.

Given that is the case it doesn’t do any harm for us to put some additional intentionality and priority round it today.

Riddle me this:

  • Who, when you actually consider it, haven’t you seen this past year that you really would like to?
  • Who lights up your world? Who is worth going out of your way for?
  • Who do you ACTUALLY want to see before Christmas?
  • Who isn’t physically near you but is incredibly important to you? Can you plan a trip? Failing that can you surprise them with a Facetime or Skype call?
  • Who has made a positive impact on your life this year? Why? How do you want to acknowledge that?
  • Who do you want by your side at Christmas? Who do you want by your side at New Year?
  • Who do you keep saying you must get together, but don’t? Do you really want to see them? If so, get it sorted. If no, stop saying it.
  • Is there anyone with whom you want to clear the air or make amends with? Clear the air, and feel free for the new year. 
  • Is there a group thing where you can kill multiple birds  – by hosting or attending – to connect with three or more of the above people?
  • Can you organise an active catch up that is not just coffee or wine? A walk in the bush? Swim at the beach? Surf? Playpark with the kids? A shared activity builds more memories and connection.

 Not all connection needs to be one on one, and time-intensive.

This is a great reflection exercise, to make sure you include all the people who are truly important to you.

Your best summer will be only best summer when you have the best people at your side.

 

Categories
Live Happy Inspiration Love the Skin You're In Love your body Positive Thought Strategy Self Care and Self Love Summer time

Refresh Your Health Goals

Last week we looked at adding a generous dollop of planning along with the sunscreen to make for an optimum summer.

This week your mission is to use this summer on ramp time to refresh your health goals.

In winter we hibernate and hunker down, it’s a natural process both biologically and psychologically driven by the season. We tend to withdraw a bit socially, eat a bit too much comfort food and wear waaaaay too much black.

Feeling the sun’s rays on our skin once again brings a natural inclination to look at our body and how we are treating it.

It’s an inspiration beneficial to harness and so this week dedicate a little time to refreshing your health goals for summer.

  1. What’s great about your health and wellbeing right now? What’s going well?

 

2. What healthy habits do you have already on lock, that you are committed to continuing even when it’s the crazy busy few weeks before Christmas and the weather is amazing and you have been invited to 4 BBQ’s? What’s non-negotiable for you?

 

3. Which aspects of your health are not where you want them to be right now?

 

4. Which one or two of these bother you enough that you are committed to taking action about them? (If it’s a long list, that’s fine, just pick the one/two that bothers you MOST and address that with focus and commitment, don’t try and do everything).

 

5. What are you going to do differently to address them?

 

6. What do you need to decide about your time and resources to make the change you desire happen?

 

7. Do you need to ask right now for any additional support or resources to make that happen? (Babysitter? New trainers? Meditation Course?)

Summer is a time where it is happily SO much easier to get up earlier, exercise outdoors, eat lighter foods and so on.

We have such an amazing tailwind with health and wellbeing in summer – an effortless push from Mother Nature to be our healthiest best.

All we need to do is get on board with our own summer health reset, starting today.

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Live Happy Inspiration Love your body Self Care and Self Love

Baby, it’s cold outside: 5 totally unusual tips to move that mood! #5

Winter Wellbeing #5: Cook Up A Storm

According to various studies, people are hungrier and do eat more in the winter months (you are not imagining it – good to know!).

There are a few potential factors that may contribute to this increased hunger. Most people would agree that winter is the season for hearty foods. Heavy, carb-laden dishes, sugary treats, and rich sauces are all cultural staples of the winter diet. Many people also report being hungrier in winter, with stronger cravings and an increased urge to snack.

So – given that biologically we are going to crave more food (for energy, to keep warm) and culturally (it’s the season for comfort food) – what can we do to avoid packing on a little winter padding?

A few tips are to fill up on healthy soups, stews and other low-calorie dishes that contain plenty of fibre-rich vegetables and other healthy ingredients, along with protein to keep you feeling satisfied, and to find healthier versions of your favourite comfort foods so you can indulge without blowing out on your calorie intake.

My healthy go-to option in the winter is the good ‘ole crockpot. It is amazing for creating nutrient-dense, hearty, warming dishes with minimum fuss (always a big motivator in my world!) like stews, chillies, and soups. PLUS – the added bonus of making me feel like FREAKING SUPERWOMAN by having dinner all sorted and bubbling away BY BREAKFAST TIME!

The key is to WORK WITH WINTER and the push towards hearty meals –and create ones that are guilt-free and hassle-free for you.  Nutrient-dense, healthy and comforting is the way to go.

PS: My recipe for my “CROCKPOT OF GOODNESS” – aka, my vegetarian chilli, is below ?

~ Vegetarian Chilli – aka The Crockpot of Goodness ~

I have a MASSIVE crockpot, so this makes enough for at least a dozen meals! Not bad for 15 minutes prep!

Ingredients:
Diced:

• 1 onion
• A few cloves peeled fresh garlic

A couple of handfuls of the following, all roughly chopped:

• Carrots
• Courgettes/ zucchini
• Cauliflower
• Leek
• Celery
• Capsicum/ Pepper – try to get a few different colours
• Mushrooms
• Any other vegetable that you have in the house that you want to throw in

Cans/ Tins of the following:
Five cans of the pulses in total in whatever combination works or is available:

• Chopped tomatoes x 3
• Lentils x2
• Black beans x1
• Four bean mix (inc chickpeas) x 2 – or alternatively, choose single beans or chickpeas

A variety of liquid ingredients that can include the following:

• 1 cup red wine
• Splash of Worcester sauce
• Splurt or tablespoon of tomato paste
• A spoon of crushed garlic from a jar (if fresh not available)
• Pasta sauce mixed with water (optional)
• Tube of fresh hot chilli sauce (optional, adjust for spice)
• Salt and pepper

How to make it:

1. Place diced onion, leek and garlic in a frying pan and gently fry (‘sweat’) for a few minutes.
2. Place all the roughly chopped vegetables and the cooked onion mix in the crockpot and mix around with a big spoon.
3. Add 3x cans of chopped tomatoes to crockpot, mix again.
4. Drain and rinse cans of pulses using a sieve in the sink and then add to crockpot, mix with the big spoon again.
5. In a separate bowl or jug add all the liquid ingredients together, including the salt and pepper, and mix well with a whisk or spoon, then pour liquid mixture into crockpot and mix the whole crockpot well with spoon again.
6. Put lid on crockpot and cook on low all day or on high for the afternoon.

Serve it up with nachos, tacos, brown rice, quinoa, gnocchi, pasta, jacket potato or kumara: super versatile!

Top tip:
– Batch up and freeze for an easy meal later.

Want to read Tip One? Click here. Tip Two is here, Tip Three here, and Tip Four here.

Categories
4 Dimensional Wellness Energy Boosters Happiness Self Care and Self Love

Baby, it’s cold outside: 5 totally unusual tips to move that mood! #4

Winter Wellbeing #4: Intention and Impact

Winter is a great time for reflection. For being rather than doing. Pausing the boxset for an hour to sit by the fire and reflect with intent can be a great way to do a winter reset around your health, happiness and wellbeing.

If you ask some people what he/she “should be” doing for his/her wellbeing you will get hella long list.

Something like…

Must exercise before work every day. At least an hour. Drink a green juice every day. Eat more protein. Make sure drink enough water (in BPA safe bottle obvs). And lift heavy things for bone density (kettlebells?). Rest more. But, er, also do more. Bootcamp. Cook from scratch every meal. More pulses? Get in 5 a day. 7 really. Do squats whilst cleaning teeth. Oh teeth, must get organic toothpaste. And aluminium-free deodorant. Do not get stressed! Yes definitely be less stressed. Meditate. 20 mins a day. Every day….AND SO ON.

PHEW. IT’S FREAKING EXHAUSTING!

This is why we find it so hard to stick to wellbeing habits; total overwhelm. When you see it all written down like that it seems fairly crazy-pants that anyone could ever keep on top of a percentage of that regularly.

Know this: the BEST wellbeing actions you can choose are the ones that you:

a) Actually DO consistently
b) Create maximum IMPACT

You can’t do everything: FACT!

So, let’s stop putting ridiculous pressure and expectations on ourselves and look for IMPACT AND CONSISTENCY, and then focus on FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT! That’s wellbeing, yes?

So, reflect on this: what wellbeing habit (can be small or large) do you wish you HAD STARTED 5 YEARS AGO AND KEPT UP CONSISTENTLY?

Big question! Resist the urge to write 19 answers and batter your self-esteem – start working that DISCERNMENT MUSCLE – what’s the ONE THING that would have been the highest impact choice?

Make that ONE choice TODAY.

Want to read Tip One? Click here. Tip Two is here & Tip Three here.

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