It’s healthy to “Let Go”, we are told.
It’s healthy to let go of past hurt. Resentment. A Broken Heart. Pain. Anger. Grief. Being Used. Being Abused. Lied to. Abandoned. Betrayed. Whatever your particular flavour of hurt.
“Just Let Go – you will feel better” they say.
And we know that is true.
That if we could let go of that tight ball of pain that lies so heavy in our heart, that would be just awesome. Thanks so much for the advice.
So, we want to Let Go. We do. We know it will be The Way Forward.
So we want to. Oh boy, do we want to.
But. How do we do it? How do we Let Go? And, what if we can’t? What if we just can’t find a way to Let Go. What then?
The reality is “Letting Go” sounds very appealing, and is very easy to say, but it can be oh so hard to actually do in practice.
Here’s the thing.
Sometimes…you just might not be ready to Let Go. It’s too hard because you are just Not Ready Yet.
And that’s okay.
So – what’s the answer when Letting Go is too hard? Or it’s too soon?
I think it is this:
Instead of asking yourself what you want to Let Go Of, park that for now. Instead ask yourself this:
“What do I want to Let In right now?
What would make life sweeter? More relaxed? More fun?
What do I want to Let In that would help me feel more connected? More valued? More loved?
What could I Let In that would make life easier? More effortless? More delicious?
What do I want to Let In that would lift my spirits? What do I want to Let In that would make my heart lift, even a little?
Do I want to Let In more joy? More clients? More money? More time to move my body? More boy’s poker nights? More clutter free surfaces in my home? More clothes than make me feel amazing? More friendships that feel truly connected? More laughter? More lightness? Honesty? Trust? Integrity? Love?
What do I want to Let In to my life?
Park up for a while on what you want to Let Go of. It’s okay to put it in the Too Hard Basket for a bit. Turn your focus over entirely to what you want to Let In instead.
Sit with it.
Make a list of it.
Talk about it.
Move towards it.
Start figuring out ways to Let That Stuff In.
Express gratitude as it shows up.
Notice and praise the little stuff that gets Let In.
Whoop and holler a hell yeah for the big and fabulous stuff you Let In.
The new friendship. The laughter over a wine. The amazing new boots. The painting your kid drew. The fresh air on a crisp winters day. The hard but honest conversation that built trust and understanding.
Let that stuff IN.
Decide what it is and Let It In.
Let It In, and smile and keep your focus on it. The stuff you wanted to arrive.
And Let It In some more.
And Let It In some more.
And then, cast your mind back to That Thing, that Big Ugly Painful Thing you were wrestling to Let Go of a while back. You will find while you have loosened your grip on it (by putting your energy into what you want to Let In instead) – well that thing, whilst you haven’t been looking…it has gently and inperceptably started to Let Go of you. It’s releasing you more every single time you let more of the good stuff in.
Let It In.