My Happiness Hacking clients are my favourite muses as you know. Pretty much every specific client problem is a universal problem and so a solution with a client is always based on a general coaching principle that will work for us all (when we are ready to embrace it and take it on board!). The timing is usually when we are sick of the situation or status quo we are in. When we feel that continual internal niggle that “there MUST be another way!”
Imagine if you will, a beautiful, smart, graceful client – we had done a lot of work clearing out the relationship space. Why? Because everything else was looking pretty damn good! Career, stellar. Health, excellent. House, great. Social life, sweet. The relationship area though…big fat zero. Which, for someone so talented and capable, who was used to making life look like she wanted it to look, was doubly frustrating. In all other areas of life she put in the work, with a great attitude and it all unfolded easily. Love life – not so much.
What did she say to me this morning? “I always remembered what you said to me, you said, “Imagine it’s been taken care of, imagine it’s all in hand. You can relax because it’s been taken care of. Go live your life in the safe knowledge that it’s been taken care of. Go live your best life.”
She then she proceeded to tell me about the magical man who rocked up just as she least expected it as she was embracing the all round awesomeness in her life, and that it’s been the most easy and natural flow and partnership evvvvaaaaa. And that a seriously romantic overseas proposal means a wedding in 2016. Squeee!!! That everything happened in EXACTLY the timing it was meant to, that she can see that so clearly now in retrospect.
So, how did she that make magic happen?! Well it’s really counter intuitive, as well as deeply powerful principle. You would think we would spend all the time delving deep into loads of old relationship stuff, but no, once we had cleared out a few old limiting beliefs and patterns she was good to go. We changed tack completely – we went with the “Imagine It’s All Been Taken Care Of” Principle. The space was open and ready. Space clear. Intention set. Her job was to go be happy whilst her delivery arrived. You’ve ordered it. It’s taken care of. Can you feel how utterly relaxing that is? How that takes the pressure right off?
How does this work? Well, when we really want a thing and it’s not happening (and even more irritatingly seems to be happening for everyone around us!) it’s REALLY EASY to get sucked into a LACK MINDSET. All we can see is the thing we DON’T HAVE. Every time we see a happy couple walking by it’s a reminder that WE DON’T HAVE THAT. Every TV show or movie with a cutesy romance = WE DON’T HAVE THAT. Each invitation to bring a partner = WE DON’T HAVE THAT. Once we get locked on that LACK MINDSET it’s a dangerous filter through which to view the world as it means we are stuck in “don’t have it” space. And what that does is attract more “don’t have it” to us. So the guy/girl continues to NOT show up – the “don’t have it” gets matched with the “don’t have it”. Lack breeds lack.
Switching our mindset from lack to abundance is mission critical for this kind of thing. It’s about living your life NOW and appreciating every bit you DO HAVE, now. It’s about seeing yourself as complete and not in need now. It’s about filling your time with people and stuff that YOU DO HAVE NOW that makes your soul sing. It’s about appreciating every tiny thing that is going well in the other areas of your life and keeping the focus there. It’s about talking about what you ARE doing (cute time with Mum, girly weekend, learning to horse ride, getting promoted, buying new curtains, planni
ng a trip to Melbourne WHATEVER!) Whatever it is that is ALREADY PRESENT and good and abundant. Because – if that’s what you focus on and talk about – what does that say about you as a person? It says: I am a person that has is going ON! Good stuff comes to me easily ALL THE TIME! And what does that attract? More good stuff to be going on, including the dream guy/girl.
NOTHING repels a prospective squeeze more than a needy “I am incomplete without you, I need you to make me happy” kind of energy. Getting inadvertently stuck in a LACK mindset is like dousing ourselves in a generous coating of (wo)man repellent and then wondering why no one is coming close!
You put out needy energy – you are going to get someone needy or no one at all. You put out fun, confident, love my life energy – you get someone who is loving their life, fun, confident and a great fit.
So – if you are struggling in this space of your life, or another one, instead of pushing harder with the LACK based energy of what you DON’T HAVE – realise that that DON’T HAVE energy is part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Instead, stop – appreciate all the GOOD you already have in OTHER areas of your life. IMAGINE that your desire is already completely taken care of. Feel how RELAXING that is! Mmmmm! Feel how much the pressure and the impatience recede. Keep the focus on WHAT YOU DO HAVE, and displaying the energy you want to attract (fun, light, loving, etc.) and be amazed at the magicalness that will ensue.
Imagine it’s already taken care of.
Feel the pressure drop.
Who would you be if you knew that for sure?
How would you show up in the world if you knew that for sure?
What would you talk about, enjoy, do, say if you new that for sure?
Do that. Be that. Say that.
Imagine it’s already taken care of.
I know it’s a big leap away from the obvious needy lack mindset but I see this magic in my coaching room unfolding
– so much so I don’t even see it as magic so much as what’s expected!
Imagine it’s already taken care of. If you can fully embrace this principle you will be delighted to find that IT IS!