Today we are all about being true to ourselves…easy to say…but what does that really MEAN?
It’s an interesting thing – some people just seem to be born knowing who they are and even from a small child, you see them plough their individual furrow in life. Their way, right from the Get-Go. Right outta the gate they are true to their unique take on the world and their place within it. The majority of us through…It. Takes. Time. So much people pleasing to be done first, no! Decades of it! Myriad schools, qualifications, partners, career, home choices and so on are made to fit the vision that other people have or expect.
How does it look when you start trusting your own version of you?
How do you know when you are starting to live more truly to yourself?
1. You can give yourself permission to change your mind.
And, you can change your mind without calling it quitting and beating your sweet self up over it. You just know it’s not right for you. Maybe it was before. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was a mistake all along. But, regardless of what others’ judgment might be about you saying the course YOU know it’s wrong and you give yourself permission to change direction anyway.
2. You’ve outgrown a few relationships or situations, and you are not clinging or feeling guilty about it.
Life is all about growth: internal and external; it’s at different speeds and directions for us all. And that’s okay. You may outgrow friendship groups. Or relationships, or careers, or countries and all of that is OK. We are not meant to stay the same forever (and nor is anyone else!). In such a global world of possibility and opportunity, our personal journeys are meant to overlap with many others: we might be on parallel tracks for a bit and then one or the other might speed up and away. We are not left behind or in front. We are just on different tracks and that’s more than OK. Release with love.
3. You realise that life doesn’t feel good, all the time, and that’s OK too.
This is a biggie. The “pursuit of happiness” after all is drummed into us left, right and centre from before we can walk. But, as humans, we are programmed to experience and process a range of human emotions: not just happiness. We might be happiness-seeking machines, but we are also programmed to feel sadness, guilt, irritation, boredom, anger, resentment, fear.
When we can observe these emotions for a moment without frantically trying to escape them (Booze! Drugs! Overworking! Exercising like crazy! Food! Sugar! Pizza! Oh, go on then, just one more slice! Wine! Just a quick one!) we can discern what their message to us is – and how to course correct ourselves.
It is easier to navigate which way happiness is when we know where it isn’t, and we can refine the road all the way. That it’s more efficient to allow ourselves to feel sad, or scared or bored, to move through that feeling, than it is to keep and avoid feeling it with one more wine. When you are being true to yourself, you are being true to what you really feel.
4. Some people like you, some people don’t and that’s OK.
7 billion people on the planet. They ain’t all gonna like you and approve of you and all your choices! It’s an impossibility to even try. You do you. Let them do them. Don’t sweat the haters. Stay in your integrity. The more you love your choices the less you need other people to.
5. You have boundaries that you hold, no matter the consequences.
When you start realising that your boundaries are not things you put up to beat other people with, but merely lines in the sand that keep YOU safe, that you can stand behind – and other people can choose accordingly – that is a huge step on living a life that is true to yourself.
To be able to say “this is ok for me, and this, this is not, this I will not tolerate” and then let others choose how they will behave around you. There is an enormous sense of peace in that. Most will respect your boundaries, and say “of course, that is no problem, I had no idea that was so important to you” and a few will not and test if you really mean it. Being able to voice a boundary is huge. Being able to stand firm on your boundary, and know what is non-negotiable for you IS being true to you. At its very essence, it is where you – stand up and show up – for you.
I hope you have been able to tick at least a few of these today.
