1. People are generally not intentionally trying to hurt us.

They’re trying to keep themselves safe in the best and only ways they know how.

2. Behaviour is a language that should be taken just as seriously as the language of words. Love (and all other emotions) can be communicated in languages beyond words, and these languages are just as valid.

3. Life is exponentially easier and more peaceful when our values, thoughts and actions and words align.

This is living in integrity and alignment.

4. The judgement we have for others directly reflects the areas where we continue to judge ourselves most harshly.

The correlation is there behind the scenes and a great invitation to grow.

5. The acceptance we have for others directly reflects the acceptance we have for ourselves.

The more at peace we are with who we are, the more we accept others and the less our drive for them to change in some way.

6. This is my life. I alone get to decide the meaning I attribute to situations.

I determine the story I write of my life, and the story I choose as the narrative of my life is the basis of the life I will experience, so it’s on me to tell a good story!

Which one of these resonates the most? I’d love to know, you can message me here. And if you are ready to do some proper structured personal growth work, please do check out my Coaching Academy where the magic happens in a safe and supportive space .

The post SIX big life truths from coaching 1000’s of smart women appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

What if you believed you were PERFECT, JUST AS YOU ARE. 

Not when you have lost the last 5 kilos. 

Or finally cleared out the garage like you have been saying for 18 months. 

Or finished that qualification you have been slogging away at. 

Or made up with your sister who you haven’t spoken to for years. 

Or baked all the cupcakes FROM SCRATCH for the school fete and run the tombolo. 

BUT RIGHT NOW? 

The weight of “who we should be” is a heavy thing to carry around each day. 

Truth is, there is no “should be”.

We are all a permanent “Work In Progress”.

We will never be done, finished, complete

We are perfect imperfect works of progress at all times.

And we wish away so much of our “now” happiness carrying the weight of who we feel we “should be” or how our life “should be”.

Should is one of the heaviest words in the English language and I would like to ban it. It makes us feel unnecessarily bad about ourselves!

Who you are right now is just perfect, you can take that from me.

Put the weight down.

And have a very happy day.

PS. Celebrate yourself here and now with some real self-care action, my book “101 Self-Care Ideas”. Grab it for just $17 NZD / £7.50 GBP!

The post The heavy weight of “who we should be” appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

You will be spending too much of your EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ENERGY ON THINGS THAT ARE OUTSIDE YOUR CONTROL.

We all do this. I do this. I find I am in a right old frazzle and then stop to see what it is I am feeling so overwhelmed about and sure enough…it will be something outside my DIRECT control. Der Louise! That’s basic, but SO easy to slip up on!

Checking in on this cuts through the overwhelm instantly as it allows us to self-direct our mental and emotional energy to the place where it has the most impact. Overwhelm dissipates pretty much immediately.

Here’s a handy graphic and a list below for you

So, if you are feeling overwhelmed check in and see if your attention is one (or more) of these…

Out Of My Control…

• What other people believe, think, say, or post online
• What other people choose to do, including their behaviour, decisions, priorities, and boundaries
• Other people’s feelings, including how they feel about me (yup, sorry!)
• Other people’s opinions or worries
• Other people’s time
• Outcomes (as opposed to my effort)
• Timing of external events
• Random events or luck
• The past
• Global news
• Market conditions or economic shifts
• Cultural norms or societal expectations
• How quickly others change or grow
• External opportunities appearing or not appearing
• Illness or unexpected health events
• Aging
• Time
• Tax
• Traffic
• The weather

Hmmm…quite the list huh? There is A LOT that we do not control, my friend. Like A LOT. When we focus on it, and how it coulda/woulda/shoulda be different it is a fast track to feeling overwhelmed. We want things to be different, but we have no control in them being different, equals overwhelm. It’s a real waste of our mental and emotional energy.

So, here is where should we redirect ourselves to:

In My Control…

• What I say, including my words and tone
• What I think – full control over my own brain!
• What I do, including my actions and responses, priorities and focus
• My opinions about myself and others
• How I interpret situations and the meaning I give events
• My effort and consistency
• The standards I set for myself
• Whether I follow through on commitments
• How I spend my time and attention
• What I look at online and choose to put into my mind
• My self-care choices and how I choose to take care of my body
• What I consume (food, media, information, influences)
• My habits and routines
• Who I hang out with
• The boundaries I voice
• The questions I ask myself
• Whether I ask for help or support
• When I choose to persist or pivot

Notice how you feel, when you read the first list, as compared to when you read the second list…quite different, yes?

Whenever you feel overwhelmed (and this is life in 2026, that is inevitable) the key is to see WHY you are overwhelmed, track it back to the first list. Accept that it is out of your control and then take your attention – and therefore your MOOD – where it matters, back to your own sphere of control. Your power and your positivity lie right there, and are available anytime.

I hope this helps

P.S, If you’d like to know more about my Academy, click here

The post Overwhelm: the list you need to change the pattern appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Sounds simple, can be hard when we have conditioned ourselves to a lifetime of finding ourselves wanting and relentless internal criticism. You know how that goes I am sure.

I came across this awesome image (which sorry I cannot find the original source to credit the artist, if you definitively know let me know), which if we could channel even 20% of the energy in this drawing it would improve our self-esteem no end.

Ready?

Isn’t that gorgeous?

Your mission today, is to go tell yourself “OMG, I am too cute!”.

Guaranteed to make you smile.

Instant internal self-esteem ripple effects to be had.

Try this one daily!

And have a great day.

The learning: self-care doesn’t have to be complex to be impactful. We don’t need a 19-step plan we won’t follow. Sometimes we just need to talk a wee bit nicer to ourselves.

The post One sentence guaranteed to raise a smile daily appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

It’s important to know that our intense emotional reactions, and our increasing numbness, are totally normal responses to utterly abnormal world affairs. It would be far more abnormal not to feel helpless when we see what we see on a rolling basis.

Helplessness feels awful, but what can we, little old us, actually do? It’s so easy to believe that nothing we do will make a difference. That we’re too small and the problems are too large. Too global. Too wrapped up in power and might.

Over the next few weeks I’ll share a few suggestions and principles I’m leaning on right now. First up: let’s do what we can do. Even small actions can create energetic momentum and shift our state from despair to motion.

That could mean:

Writing/calling our parliamentary representative

Signing petitions, raising awareness to those in power

Attending marches or demonstrations

Volunteering where it makes a difference

It can also mean donating to charities and organisations better positioned to ease suffering than we are.

I rarely publicly talk about this, however something we’ve always done here at Thompson Towers, and have just quietly got onto again at the end of the tax year now the books have come back. Each year (and every year) we donate a percentage of our profit to charity. It’s not mega bucks (we are a small company), but it’s baked into our business; something we have always done and always will.

I very much believe in business as an intentional force for good, and I hope you do too.

This year we have chosen the same three charities as we supported last year, because the situations have not changed on the ground and so this felt like the right thing to do. They are:

1. Kiva.org – We make an ongoing monthly donation to Kiva, which supports people (especially women) in developing countries to start small businesses – a bakery, a sewing business, whatever it may be.

I once met Kiva’s founder, the incredible Jessica Jackley. Her model of giving that fosters independence and growth is just amazing. We’ve supported Kiva for over a decade now. You can read about when I met her here.

At the end of each financial year, we also decide where to donate from our “Giving” account.

This year, we split that between two causes:

2. UNICEF Gaza Appeal – the appalling suffering of children in Gaza still goes on. I don’t even have the words anymore; I hope this donation helps what should never be happening.

3. Help for Abandoned Animals in Ukraine – this charity helps care for the poor pets left behind when their families had to flee the fighting.

Even if it’s small, I believe one of the best things we can do when big things feel so bad is to take the small actions that are available to us – and to do them with as much love and peace as we can.

This business is about growth, love and support (for you!) and it means a lot to know we create ripple effects, even if they’re small, quiet and consistent  Thank you for being part of that.

I’ll be sharing a few more ideas this month on what we can do – for ourselves and for others – when we feel powerless. I hope this one has empowered you to speak up, take action, or contribute in whatever way feels right for you. The links are above if any of those charities peak to you also.

These ripple effects do count, dear readers. They do. We simply have to believe in that .

As the incredible Mother Teresa said: “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”

And that final reminder, our emotional response is a completely normal reaction to utterly abnormal world events. It’s a sign of our humanity. We need community and ripple effects of love now more than ever .

With much love

Louise x

These are the charities Thompson Towers is proud to support:

Kiva Microlending Giving

https://www.kiva.org

The Gaza Appeal:

https://www.unicef.org.uk/donate/children-in-gaza-crisis-appeal

The Ukraine Animal Appeal:

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/blue-cross-ukraine-pet-welfare-fund

The post When the world seems full of bad news – do this appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

We hang emotionally onto that job that treated us badly… that we left 2 years ago

We hang onto that conversation that was disrespectful and play it repeatedly even though it happened last March.

We hang onto that breakup and talk about how bad it was years later, years and years later.

We hang onto the unfairness in sibling relationships growing up for (I am not kidding) 50 years or more (I have seen this more times in my coaching room than I can count) literally HALF A CENTURY of “it’s not fair” playing in our heads.

In short, we can be talented at hanging onto situations with emotional hangovers that let go of us years, decades even, ago.

The space in our brain and heart is limited. Our emotional energy that we can bring to each day is limited. For us to be at our best and project our best we do so much better when we Let Go Of What Let Go Of Us.

Sometimes there is no closure to be had.

No apology that’s going to materialise.

No recompense that is going to be made.

Nothing is going to get equalised or put right.

Noone who is going to suddenly say just how right we were all along.

Or how unfair it all was.

Or how we should have been treated better.

It is not going to happen.

It’s over, that relationship, job, living situation, interaction, is over.

It let go of us a long time ago

Time for us to let go of it, my friend

How do we do that?

We accept there is nothing further external to come from it

And that we need to therefore let it go internally.

To decide, right now, to stop holding on.

What does that mean?

Stop holding on to the belief that it coulda woulda shoulda been different to what it was.

Stop holding on to the version where it played out a different way.

Stop holding on to injustice, or betrayal or disappointment.

To let that go.

For it let go of us a long, long time ago.

Sending you much love, do feel free to forward this blog to anyone who needs it

P.S, Want to see everything you get inside my Wellbeing Warriors Academy? No problem – the full breakdown of all the goodness is right here:

 Click for full Academy details

Want to hear what real women say about it? Of course! Hundreds of testimonials from our members are right here:

 Read member stories + feedback

The post Time to Let Go? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

I have an acquaintance here in the small town I live in, and I bump into her every now and again, say once or twice a year maybe. Almost every time I see her she is either hating hating HATING her job because she has a “toxic” boss/colleagues/culture, or, she is just about to start a new job which is going to be everything the last one wasn’t. Sure enough, when I saw her yesterday in the queue at the pharmacy, she was on the verge of leaving the latest “totally toxic workplace” and looking for pastures new. Again.

What is going ON? You may have someone similar in your life. Where, for years and years they are complaining about the exact same thing, or the same thing just a different context. Essentially nothing ever really changes.

The thing I have observed over 15 years of doing the Coaching work I am privileged to do with my amazing students and VIPs is that there is a huge difference between FEELING BETTER, and GROWTH. They are not the same:

Most people don’t want to grow, they just want to feel better. Why?

Growth is uncomfortable

It asks you to look in the mirror and face some discomfort

Growth requires work that we choose

Growth asks you to stretch and let go of old ways of thinking

To face what can be hard truths

To take responsibility for the choices you make, as well as the ones you pass up,

Growth needs you to make the hard calls and to know that if it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you

Feeling better though? That’s pretty easy.

A scroll. A snack. A shiny distraction. A quick switch.

Easy. Feeling better is easy.

Growth asks for something more than ease.  

Reflection not running.

Discipline over discomfort.

Knowing not numbing.

When we chase ease we miss a real opportunity.

We miss expansion. We miss evolution. We miss moving to the next level in this epic game of life we are all signed up for.

If we truly want a better life, or we keep getting the same situation on repeat, it’s time to look for growth instead of ease.

Food for thought?  This distinction between growth and ease makes me so very proud of the work my clients and students do every day, and they deserve every amazing, life enhancing result they enjoy 

P.S. Want to work with me and not just feel better but actually GROW as a person? VIP Coaching is sold out but I’d love to coach you in my Academy. Deets here

The post What is MUCH better for you than feeling better? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Stop assuming people are mad or pissed off at you in some way. 

Stop attempting to read their minds and adapting your behaviour around that assumption.

Stop trying to manage the thoughts and emotions of others. Those thoughts and emotions live in their heads and their bodies, not yours, so let people be in charge of themselves. 

If they have something to say to you, they will.

If they have something they genuinely need to ask of you, they will.

If they have something to say that truly matters to them that they want you to know, they will.

And if they don’t – it is their responsibility, not yours. 

And just like that, we get to recalibrate. Confronting this one I know, especially if we have been stuck in people pleasing patterns for years, (decades!) but stopping the default assumption of over-responsibility is a sure path to peace, my friend, I promise you.

Have a wonderful weekend, and if you do want to look at doing VIP Coaching with me, I only take 10 clients per year (all sold out!) but you absolutely can join my group coaching programme and get live coaching on your issue and situation each Friday morning. You can check that out here. 

The post Are you being “over-responsible” for how other people feel? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Do you keep deferring relaxing? 

And if so (this is the important bit) what do you defer it about?

We are jolly good as humans at pushing ourselves further, faster, longer in ways I am increasingly convinced humans were never designed to do.

We seem to have become programmed to defer any kind of relaxation until the work is done, which our cavewomen forbears would never have entertained as they told stories around the nightly campfire.

We defer relaxation – WHICH HUMANS ARE PROGRAMMED TO REQUIRE! – for so many things:

We defer leaving work on time so we can finish that report. 

We defer feeling good about our body til we have lost those pesky last 5 kilo’s

We defer feeling relaxed about money until we are debt free

We defer rest until we are on annual leave

We defer laughter and connection until the washing up is done

We defer reading that book til the work is done

We defer going for that walk til the house is tidy

We defer defer defer in all sorts of ways…

We treat rest and relaxation as if they are optional extras

Treats we have to earn like a dog for good behaviour

That relaxation needs to be earned and it comes at the end of a very long To Do list.

Thing is, this is a lie that keeps us trapped in a mode of “perpetual productivity”, which has been a boon for large organisations for sure as it’s become adopted as a cultural norm. However, it sure makes for a lot of perpetually anxious people overdelivering both at work and at home!

“Always On” and endless deferral of rest and relaxation have been good for the bottom line but not been good for our mental or physical health. We are designed, programmed, built as human beings who need and require mental and physical REST and RELAXATION as much as we need food or sleep. The cultural downgrading and deferment of relaxation has been so pervasive, and we have internalised it so much we quite willingly DO IT TO OURSELVES!

My mini-challenge for you today is to have a think about where you might be treating rest and relaxation (either physical or mental) as an optional extra, and where you could make a different choice on that today.

We live in a world of ‘jam tomorrow… jam tomorrow”.

Deferring rest. Deferring relaxation.

I think we should all be having a little more “jam today” 

I’d love for you to find one way to do that for yourself this week.

The post Do you keep deferring relaxing? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

A quick note for you today to consider that what we do in private shows in public in ways we don’t necessarily consider…

• Our reading consumption shows up in our conversations
• Our workouts or walks show up in our physicality
• Our sleep shows up in our mood and our patience
• Our discipline shows in our confidence
• Our diet shows in our energy and skin
• Our personal growth shows up in our relationships
• Our screentime shows in our level of focus
• And so on…

What we invest our time, energy and attention in when no one is watching, shapes who we show up as in public. 

Food for thought, yes?

Have a great day.

The post The amazing effects of showing up for yourself appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.