We hang emotionally onto that job that treated us badly… that we left 2 years ago

We hang onto that conversation that was disrespectful and play it repeatedly even though it happened last March.

We hang onto that breakup and talk about how bad it was years later, years and years later.

We hang onto the unfairness in sibling relationships growing up for (I am not kidding) 50 years or more (I have seen this more times in my coaching room than I can count) literally HALF A CENTURY of “it’s not fair” playing in our heads.

In short, we can be talented at hanging onto situations with emotional hangovers that let go of us years, decades even, ago.

The space in our brain and heart is limited. Our emotional energy that we can bring to each day is limited. For us to be at our best and project our best we do so much better when we Let Go Of What Let Go Of Us.

Sometimes there is no closure to be had.

No apology that’s going to materialise.

No recompense that is going to be made.

Nothing is going to get equalised or put right.

Noone who is going to suddenly say just how right we were all along.

Or how unfair it all was.

Or how we should have been treated better.

It is not going to happen.

It’s over, that relationship, job, living situation, interaction, is over.

It let go of us a long time ago

Time for us to let go of it, my friend

How do we do that?

We accept there is nothing further external to come from it

And that we need to therefore let it go internally.

To decide, right now, to stop holding on.

What does that mean?

Stop holding on to the belief that it coulda woulda shoulda been different to what it was.

Stop holding on to the version where it played out a different way.

Stop holding on to injustice, or betrayal or disappointment.

To let that go.

For it let go of us a long, long time ago.

Sending you much love, do feel free to forward this blog to anyone who needs it

P.S, Want to see everything you get inside my Wellbeing Warriors Academy? No problem – the full breakdown of all the goodness is right here:

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The post Time to Let Go? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Broadly speaking, the left hemisphere of our brain is where our rational logical mind lives, and our right hemisphere is home to our sense of peace and creativity. At work, we can tend to get stuck in left brain dominance, very task focused and logical: all good things. However, if you want to find a little moment of peace in your day, take 60 seconds to consciously activate more of your right brain. Simply use a few rounds of the Alternate Nostril Breathing that we start class with, OR, you can simply close your mouth AND your RIGHT nostril and breath in and out 10 breaths just through the LEFT nostril SLOWLY to energise the right brain. Take 60 seconds to do this before a meeting and notice how much more calm and focused you are. Spooky.

#2. Relax the face

So much tension can build up in the face, we are sending stress messages to our body just from the determined set of our jaw and our wrinkled brow. Try this great yoga asana ‘Lion’ to release the tension from your face and to send relaxation throughout your body.

You will need to work in an office where you can close the door for this one, or pop to the bathroom to try it unless you have very  incurious colleagues in your open-plan office!

So, sit quietly, put your hands in your lap, then scrunch your face up, tight tight tight, scrunch the forehead, wrinkle the nose, grit the teeth: make a real scrunched old prune face…then…big exhale…do the lion face: open your mouth WIDE and stretch your tongue out, curling its tip down toward the chin, open your eyes wide, contract the muscles on the front of your throat, and exhale the breath slowly out through your mouth with a big “ha” sound. Then just check in with how you are feeling. Better, huh? I know, you don’t realise just how much tension you are holding in your face until you release it. Nice.

#3. Relax the mind

If  you are getting super stressed by a particular task or person ask yourself: how much will this thing, or this person’s opinion of this thing, matter to me 5 years from now? 99% of the time the answer is ‘hmmmm, not so much actually’ and simply, asking the question is accompanied by a release of mental tension. So, just realigning your long-term perspective with this simple question can take much of the emotion and the frustration out of the task or the interaction and make it much simpler to complete. All it takes is 60 seconds to press pause and your body and mind will thank you for it.

The post De-stressing at Work in 60 Seconds 🧘‍♀️ appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

So many of the articles and memes on this frankly exhaust me just by reading them. You know the ones – they trill something like, “Just 19 Simple Steps To Start Your Day RIGHT!”

It will go something like this: Journal for 15 minutes. Meditate for 20 minutes. Make a delicious fresh fruit breakfast with chia in it. Stretch with a simple 10-minute yoga routine. Take a moment to just breeeeeeathe (ahhhhh!). Read something meaningful that stretches your mind. Have a cold shower to invigorate the immune system. Do something nourishing with essential oils. Listen to a mind-expanding podcast. And so on.

I am sure I am not alone here hearing the voice in my head screaming “Yeah RIGHT!” To make all that good stuff happen I’d need to get up at 3am to start my morning routine!

Those 96-point lists will foster nothing but feelings of inadequacy and guilt. The key is to work with your personal circumstances and personal body clock to optimise what is genuinely realistic to tweak for you. If the goal is not to reach instagram-able levels of perfection, but to start and finish your day feeling a little calmer, a little less stressed, and with more appreciation and ease then keep it simple.

Here are two tiny tweaks you can incorporate without drama.

1 – PHYSICAL. Admiral William H. McRaven, a US Navy Seal, has a great 2-minute motivational talk on “changing the world by making your bed”. A simple but mundane task, it means you have accomplished the first task of the day early. It gives you a small sense of pride and creates the momentum to achieve the next task. As he so eloquently demonstrates, the little things in life matter: when we do the small things right we are more likely to do the big things right. Making your bed is a 2-minute investment (tops, unless you have a serious scatter cushion habit) that will start your day with purpose and discipline.

2 – MENTAL. Use your teeth cleaning time in the morning to anchor in some positivity. This takes exactly NO additional time, but will also set your day off on the right foot. Whilst you are brushing ask yourself the simple question, “What would I like to go RIGHT today?” Actively force your mind to start the day worry-free and focus on all the opportunities for connection and productivity you have coming up.

Take a moment to review your regular morning routine. It might (if you are honest with yourself) be “hit snooze 4 times” (time investment 36-minutes) and “noodle on Facebook first thing” (12 minutes). In which case a quick refresh is in order.

These two tips, one physical, one mental, you can incorporate no matter how busy you are, into start each day with purpose and positivity .

The post Two TINY tweaks you CAN make to start your day right appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Be. Kind. To. Your. Mind.

Find something that works for YOU to switch it off.

Might be baking

Might be running

Might be one of those meditation colouring books (so not just for kids!) (that’s why I include a new design each month in the Coaching Academy!).

For me, nothing breaks the chatter in my head like smacking the boxing bag. Real hard! Everything else just melts away. 

Whatever your thing is, engage in it with enthusiasm and consistency and (crucially!) without guilt.

The post Be kind to your mind 🧡 appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

What to do, what to do? 

There are TWO important strategies for you to get unstuck: 

1. Create increased MOMENTUM in an area of life that is going WELL, where there is NO confusion. Take a step forwards or up or just any kind of simple positive action to AMP UP what is going WELL. Make what is going well go even BETTER. 

Why does this work to get you unstuck on the OTHER thing? 

By UPPING your focus in a positive direction you naturally REDUCE it on what is negative. This can unlock what is not going so well as you have stopped trying to FORCE a solution to something you haven’t been able to solve. You get in the groove of what’s going WELL and that positive energy creates a ripple effect that helps the OTHER thing start to solve not you are not poking at it the whole time. 

2. Take ONE SMALL STEP towards resolving THE THING that is stuck. You don’t need to see HOW THE WHOLE THING will solve or work out or fix itself. You don’t need to see 3 years down the track and how it will all unfold. Just take one small step, one tiny action on it, that feels even just slightly like relief or lightness. Just take a TINY STEP. Don’t think its pointless because it’s small, do it anyway. 

Why does THIS work to get you unstuck? 

Firstly because you will feel a tiny bit of relief from your tiny step, and relief is always good. Secondly, and more importantly, you will gain a NEW PERSPECTIVE from the place just one tiny step further on that you may not have seen. Think of it like a fiendishly hard 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Putting in ONE puzzle piece doesn’t seem like its really doing anything, drop in the ocean when there are still 946 still to place, BUT, that one clicking into place makes just one of the others make a bit more sense, you can see just a hint more of a pattern than you could before which unlocks the next tiny step and tiny piece of the puzzle. Each piece CHANGES THE PERSPECTIVE AVAILABLE to you of the NEXT one. You don’t NEED to see the whole thing to take the next small step, you trust that one will start to REVEAL the other.

(Image credit: wonder_doodles)

___________________________________________________________

While you’re here I have a question for you.

Does overthinking keep you awake at night?

Does this lady provide an accurate representation of how you often feel?!

If so, I would love to help you.

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Now, I am looking for 50 women who want to learn how to reduce stressful loops of overthinking, stop negative spirals, declutter their mind and feel more in control, to join me for this 30-day challenge inside my Coaching Academy, from 1st July 2024.

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The post What to do when you don’t know what to do appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

It’s this one:

It’s a Chinese proverb which says “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.” 

So good, yes? 

When was the best time to take up yoga, and keep up your practice every day? Well, twenty tears go, but the second best time is NOW. 

When was the best time for you to have started that amazing skin care routine? Well, twenty tears go, but the second-best time is NOW. 

When was the best time for you to have started saving extra for retirement? Well, twenty tears go, but the second-best time is NOW. 

When was the best time for you to stop eating sugar/start doing 10000 steps a day? Well, twenty tears go, but the second-best time is NOW. 

You get it. 

Anything seriously life-enhancing benefits from longevity and the benefit of compounding returns. From it becoming so routine and such a habit it just becomes our natural baseline of how we take care of ourselves. 

The same goes for taking care of our mental and emotional health. 

“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

The post The quote on my wall… 🌳🌳 appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

“Well…it’s not brave”, Anna slurped thoughtfully through her smoothie. “You don’t need to be brave…if you decide not to be scared.”

Well BOOM, little girl. Good one. That is indeed true. You don’t need to be brave if you decide not to be scared. If you decide something is not inherently scary then no courage or bravery is required. You just do it. Maybe even relish and enjoy it.  You‘ve gotta love the irrefutable logic that comes out of the mouths of babes.

It’s a fabulous lesson to ponder, is it not?

How we define a situation dictates what we need to bring to it.

If we define a situation as boring, then we are going to need to bring persistence.

If we define a situation as hard, then we are required to pack our willpower.

If we define someone or something as scary, we need to muster our courage.

It gave me pause for thought and I hope it does for you today. I had a piece of Boomerang Admin I had been putting off (Boomerang Admin, you know the sort, you think you have sorted it, it’s DONE, you have thrown the task away forever but it keeps coming back. Form tick box is not ticked right. Payment has not gone through. Query on fulfilment. Code not selected. Yada Yada Yada. Boomerang Admin.) I’d filed this task mentally under the helpful category of TEDIOUS RED TAPE I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WASTE MY TIME ON REPEATEDLY. It was requiring every drop of willpower, persistence and tenacity I could possibly marshal to overcome the overwhelming inertia to actually get it fixed.

Realising that if I stopped defining it as tedious I wouldn’t need to bring any of my willpower reserves was a game-changer. If I decide not to be bored then I don’t need to force myself to pay attention. Redefining the situation from tedious to an opportunity to get clarity and completion meant no persistence needed. Plus, I have to say I got it done in about a tenth of the time I thought I would.

We tend to have well-ingrained habits of definition around certain situations in our life.  Have a think. There is bound to be something or someone who is scaring or boring the pants off you, requiring you to bring your willpower or bring your brave.

Have a look if a change of definition might help you; because you don’t need to be brave, if you decide not to be scared.

The post Bring your BRAVE 💪 appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

​​Your brain defaults to seeing “The Gap” of where you want to be…the chores undone, the emails not replied to, the yoga class not made, the story not read, the kitchen bench not decluttered…you know, The Gap between YOU and Superwoman who is “on top of everything”.

This default perspective is unhelpful. Makes us feel bad. We need to consciously direct our brain to “The Gain” instead. The sore knee kissed better. The midday meeting that got an outcome. The lunch boxes were packed. The kindly Good Morning to the elderly neighbour. The bins put out. The swift lunchtime walk. The dentist appointment booked. The twenty six emails that DID get replied to.

Look. Life is LIFE. It will NEVER be complete til we are

There will ALWAYS be stuff that’s UNDONE.

You can’t use DONE-NESS as your measure of how good your day was.

Train your brain to see not The Gap, but The Gain.

I promise you: you are doing better than you are judging yourself for. 

Remove the unattainable yardstick of “done”, you will never reach it anyway.

Redirect your attention, and your COMPASSION to give your sweet self a break: I promise you, you are doing better than you think you are. 

The post You are doing better than you think 💞 appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Have you noticed how much (especially as women) we tend to over-apologise and say sorry when it’s not actually required?! It’s a weird habit, and one worth revising. Things I am no longer apologising for:

Not always being available (time, attention and energy are limited, it’s not personal, it’s just freaking MATHS)

Prioritising the things that matter (to ME)

Not giving an answer right away (it’s ok to think about it)

  Working at the pace that’s right for me on voluntary projects (it needs to fit in with my life, not the other way round!)

When it’s not actually MY FAULT there is an issue! (why the hell am I saying sorry – YOU say sorry!)

Forget the bubble bath. This. Is. Real. Self. Care.

The post STOP apologising! appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

The only thing you have to do is BREATHE. Everything after that is a CHOICE.

Life becomes very different in a very short space of time once we truly grasp this fundamental truth. 

Go through every statement you have made about why you can’t improve your health, or make time for yourself, and substitute the word ‘choose’ for any of the ubiquitous “I should / I can’t / I must / I need to / I have to”.

What I want you to realise is that “I should / I can’t / I must / I need to / I have to” are stories. Stories that you tell yourself over and over and over, that keep you trapped in a place of disempowerment and fatigue.

How are they stories? Well, let me repeat the secret I told you earlier: The only thing any one of us has/must/needs to do is breathe. Everything after that is a choice. What a revelation.

Right. So, let’s see how this works in practice. I just love the power of this exercise. It truly is a life-changer.

The important thing to note here is that after you make your choice, you just move on. Make the choice knowing that this is what is right for you. Choose it and move on, releasing any guilt around it. Fully enjoy that choice and that time without thoughts of guilt. 

State your position and stand in your truth: with your boss, your client, your parents. You can’t control their reaction, but you can honour yourself and stand firm in your truth with clarity over your choice. 

Your highest purpose on this earth is to honour your authentic self, your true emotions and your physical body. You should never feel guilty about making that choice. Sure, someone else might not like your choice, but that is then their choice about how they react to it.

You can choose to work late every night, rather than have one potentially uncomfortable conversation with your boss. But at least be honest with yourself about it. You are choosing it. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. Choose it and move forward with the energy of empowerment, even if it’s not a choice that makes you happy.

The post I have a secret to share with you 🤫 appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.