1. People are generally not intentionally trying to hurt us.

They’re trying to keep themselves safe in the best and only ways they know how.

2. Behaviour is a language that should be taken just as seriously as the language of words. Love (and all other emotions) can be communicated in languages beyond words, and these languages are just as valid.

3. Life is exponentially easier and more peaceful when our values, thoughts and actions and words align.

This is living in integrity and alignment.

4. The judgement we have for others directly reflects the areas where we continue to judge ourselves most harshly.

The correlation is there behind the scenes and a great invitation to grow.

5. The acceptance we have for others directly reflects the acceptance we have for ourselves.

The more at peace we are with who we are, the more we accept others and the less our drive for them to change in some way.

6. This is my life. I alone get to decide the meaning I attribute to situations.

I determine the story I write of my life, and the story I choose as the narrative of my life is the basis of the life I will experience, so it’s on me to tell a good story!

Which one of these resonates the most? I’d love to know, you can message me here. And if you are ready to do some proper structured personal growth work, please do check out my Coaching Academy where the magic happens in a safe and supportive space .

The post SIX big life truths from coaching 1000’s of smart women appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

You will be spending too much of your EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ENERGY ON THINGS THAT ARE OUTSIDE YOUR CONTROL.

We all do this. I do this. I find I am in a right old frazzle and then stop to see what it is I am feeling so overwhelmed about and sure enough…it will be something outside my DIRECT control. Der Louise! That’s basic, but SO easy to slip up on!

Checking in on this cuts through the overwhelm instantly as it allows us to self-direct our mental and emotional energy to the place where it has the most impact. Overwhelm dissipates pretty much immediately.

Here’s a handy graphic and a list below for you

So, if you are feeling overwhelmed check in and see if your attention is one (or more) of these…

Out Of My Control…

• What other people believe, think, say, or post online
• What other people choose to do, including their behaviour, decisions, priorities, and boundaries
• Other people’s feelings, including how they feel about me (yup, sorry!)
• Other people’s opinions or worries
• Other people’s time
• Outcomes (as opposed to my effort)
• Timing of external events
• Random events or luck
• The past
• Global news
• Market conditions or economic shifts
• Cultural norms or societal expectations
• How quickly others change or grow
• External opportunities appearing or not appearing
• Illness or unexpected health events
• Aging
• Time
• Tax
• Traffic
• The weather

Hmmm…quite the list huh? There is A LOT that we do not control, my friend. Like A LOT. When we focus on it, and how it coulda/woulda/shoulda be different it is a fast track to feeling overwhelmed. We want things to be different, but we have no control in them being different, equals overwhelm. It’s a real waste of our mental and emotional energy.

So, here is where should we redirect ourselves to:

In My Control…

• What I say, including my words and tone
• What I think – full control over my own brain!
• What I do, including my actions and responses, priorities and focus
• My opinions about myself and others
• How I interpret situations and the meaning I give events
• My effort and consistency
• The standards I set for myself
• Whether I follow through on commitments
• How I spend my time and attention
• What I look at online and choose to put into my mind
• My self-care choices and how I choose to take care of my body
• What I consume (food, media, information, influences)
• My habits and routines
• Who I hang out with
• The boundaries I voice
• The questions I ask myself
• Whether I ask for help or support
• When I choose to persist or pivot

Notice how you feel, when you read the first list, as compared to when you read the second list…quite different, yes?

Whenever you feel overwhelmed (and this is life in 2026, that is inevitable) the key is to see WHY you are overwhelmed, track it back to the first list. Accept that it is out of your control and then take your attention – and therefore your MOOD – where it matters, back to your own sphere of control. Your power and your positivity lie right there, and are available anytime.

I hope this helps

P.S, If you’d like to know more about my Academy, click here

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It’s important to know that our intense emotional reactions, and our increasing numbness, are totally normal responses to utterly abnormal world affairs. It would be far more abnormal not to feel helpless when we see what we see on a rolling basis.

Helplessness feels awful, but what can we, little old us, actually do? It’s so easy to believe that nothing we do will make a difference. That we’re too small and the problems are too large. Too global. Too wrapped up in power and might.

Over the next few weeks I’ll share a few suggestions and principles I’m leaning on right now. First up: let’s do what we can do. Even small actions can create energetic momentum and shift our state from despair to motion.

That could mean:

Writing/calling our parliamentary representative

Signing petitions, raising awareness to those in power

Attending marches or demonstrations

Volunteering where it makes a difference

It can also mean donating to charities and organisations better positioned to ease suffering than we are.

I rarely publicly talk about this, however something we’ve always done here at Thompson Towers, and have just quietly got onto again at the end of the tax year now the books have come back. Each year (and every year) we donate a percentage of our profit to charity. It’s not mega bucks (we are a small company), but it’s baked into our business; something we have always done and always will.

I very much believe in business as an intentional force for good, and I hope you do too.

This year we have chosen the same three charities as we supported last year, because the situations have not changed on the ground and so this felt like the right thing to do. They are:

1. Kiva.org – We make an ongoing monthly donation to Kiva, which supports people (especially women) in developing countries to start small businesses – a bakery, a sewing business, whatever it may be.

I once met Kiva’s founder, the incredible Jessica Jackley. Her model of giving that fosters independence and growth is just amazing. We’ve supported Kiva for over a decade now. You can read about when I met her here.

At the end of each financial year, we also decide where to donate from our “Giving” account.

This year, we split that between two causes:

2. UNICEF Gaza Appeal – the appalling suffering of children in Gaza still goes on. I don’t even have the words anymore; I hope this donation helps what should never be happening.

3. Help for Abandoned Animals in Ukraine – this charity helps care for the poor pets left behind when their families had to flee the fighting.

Even if it’s small, I believe one of the best things we can do when big things feel so bad is to take the small actions that are available to us – and to do them with as much love and peace as we can.

This business is about growth, love and support (for you!) and it means a lot to know we create ripple effects, even if they’re small, quiet and consistent  Thank you for being part of that.

I’ll be sharing a few more ideas this month on what we can do – for ourselves and for others – when we feel powerless. I hope this one has empowered you to speak up, take action, or contribute in whatever way feels right for you. The links are above if any of those charities peak to you also.

These ripple effects do count, dear readers. They do. We simply have to believe in that .

As the incredible Mother Teresa said: “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”

And that final reminder, our emotional response is a completely normal reaction to utterly abnormal world events. It’s a sign of our humanity. We need community and ripple effects of love now more than ever .

With much love

Louise x

These are the charities Thompson Towers is proud to support:

Kiva Microlending Giving

https://www.kiva.org

The Gaza Appeal:

https://www.unicef.org.uk/donate/children-in-gaza-crisis-appeal

The Ukraine Animal Appeal:

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/blue-cross-ukraine-pet-welfare-fund

The post When the world seems full of bad news – do this appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

I have an acquaintance here in the small town I live in, and I bump into her every now and again, say once or twice a year maybe. Almost every time I see her she is either hating hating HATING her job because she has a “toxic” boss/colleagues/culture, or, she is just about to start a new job which is going to be everything the last one wasn’t. Sure enough, when I saw her yesterday in the queue at the pharmacy, she was on the verge of leaving the latest “totally toxic workplace” and looking for pastures new. Again.

What is going ON? You may have someone similar in your life. Where, for years and years they are complaining about the exact same thing, or the same thing just a different context. Essentially nothing ever really changes.

The thing I have observed over 15 years of doing the Coaching work I am privileged to do with my amazing students and VIPs is that there is a huge difference between FEELING BETTER, and GROWTH. They are not the same:

Most people don’t want to grow, they just want to feel better. Why?

Growth is uncomfortable

It asks you to look in the mirror and face some discomfort

Growth requires work that we choose

Growth asks you to stretch and let go of old ways of thinking

To face what can be hard truths

To take responsibility for the choices you make, as well as the ones you pass up,

Growth needs you to make the hard calls and to know that if it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you

Feeling better though? That’s pretty easy.

A scroll. A snack. A shiny distraction. A quick switch.

Easy. Feeling better is easy.

Growth asks for something more than ease.  

Reflection not running.

Discipline over discomfort.

Knowing not numbing.

When we chase ease we miss a real opportunity.

We miss expansion. We miss evolution. We miss moving to the next level in this epic game of life we are all signed up for.

If we truly want a better life, or we keep getting the same situation on repeat, it’s time to look for growth instead of ease.

Food for thought?  This distinction between growth and ease makes me so very proud of the work my clients and students do every day, and they deserve every amazing, life enhancing result they enjoy 

P.S. Want to work with me and not just feel better but actually GROW as a person? VIP Coaching is sold out but I’d love to coach you in my Academy. Deets here

The post What is MUCH better for you than feeling better? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Do you keep deferring relaxing? 

And if so (this is the important bit) what do you defer it about?

We are jolly good as humans at pushing ourselves further, faster, longer in ways I am increasingly convinced humans were never designed to do.

We seem to have become programmed to defer any kind of relaxation until the work is done, which our cavewomen forbears would never have entertained as they told stories around the nightly campfire.

We defer relaxation – WHICH HUMANS ARE PROGRAMMED TO REQUIRE! – for so many things:

We defer leaving work on time so we can finish that report. 

We defer feeling good about our body til we have lost those pesky last 5 kilo’s

We defer feeling relaxed about money until we are debt free

We defer rest until we are on annual leave

We defer laughter and connection until the washing up is done

We defer reading that book til the work is done

We defer going for that walk til the house is tidy

We defer defer defer in all sorts of ways…

We treat rest and relaxation as if they are optional extras

Treats we have to earn like a dog for good behaviour

That relaxation needs to be earned and it comes at the end of a very long To Do list.

Thing is, this is a lie that keeps us trapped in a mode of “perpetual productivity”, which has been a boon for large organisations for sure as it’s become adopted as a cultural norm. However, it sure makes for a lot of perpetually anxious people overdelivering both at work and at home!

“Always On” and endless deferral of rest and relaxation have been good for the bottom line but not been good for our mental or physical health. We are designed, programmed, built as human beings who need and require mental and physical REST and RELAXATION as much as we need food or sleep. The cultural downgrading and deferment of relaxation has been so pervasive, and we have internalised it so much we quite willingly DO IT TO OURSELVES!

My mini-challenge for you today is to have a think about where you might be treating rest and relaxation (either physical or mental) as an optional extra, and where you could make a different choice on that today.

We live in a world of ‘jam tomorrow… jam tomorrow”.

Deferring rest. Deferring relaxation.

I think we should all be having a little more “jam today” 

I’d love for you to find one way to do that for yourself this week.

The post Do you keep deferring relaxing? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

I decided I needed to do something semi-radical that would reduce the pull my phone had on me. I can feel it affecting my mood, my time, my attention span. You can probably relate? There are all sorts of generic (you have heard them before, lines of advice on this… sleep with your phone in a different room (but…you just don’t, it’s your alarm clock), set time limits on certain apps (doesn’t work, it’s too easy to just override them) etc. I wanted to try something far more intentional and likely to be genuinely effective, and it has easily cut my screentime by more than half. 

Here are my two quick hacks that you haven’t tried:

Firstly, I turned my phone to “GREYSCALE”. It’s in the settings (the instructions in the PS. below for you if you want to try it!) section of your phone. Whoa… a few clicks and boom, whole phone is various shades of grey. Everything is the same… but… it’s just not that interesting anymore. You can get the information if you need it, on whatever app or whatever, but it’s SO energetically muted. It doesn’t capture attention in the same way. It’s SO EASY to put your phone down, it will genuinely shock you.

Now look, if I need maps or photos, I turn the colour back on, obviously. But after checking in with the awesome magic, community and learning in The Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy in the morning, doing my 2-minute personal growth challenge of the day, reply to members comments and so on, I TURN MY PHONE TO GREYSCALE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

It’s SO weird guys, you simply must try it! It massively reduces how attractive and addictive it is to be on your phone and cuts your scrolling time EFFORTLESSLY.

Why does this work so well? This is all to do with the effect of colour in terms of sensory input:

• Bright colours increase sensory stimulation, which naturally holds our attention for longer. Apps are designed with high contrast and vivid colours to maximise this effect and keep us scrolling.
• When the screen is greyscale, that stimulation drops significantly. Lower stimulation means the brain finds the experience less engaging and less rewarding so we will tend to check less often and disengage wayyyyy more quickly.

So, that’s been HUGE. Second BIG move I have made to get me off my phone is to INVEST IN A KINDLE! Now, I will confess I have long resisted this move, I am a Book-Book kind of person through and through. I read A LOT of books, especially personal development books, and I like to read them with a pen in hand scribbling notes! So, I’ve always been a bit suspicious of a Kindle in terms of the reading experience as it were.

Anyway, I asked the question in the community in my Academy… do the ladies have Kindles, do they love them? So much great information shared that I decided to give it a go! I got the very basic model and decided I would use it just for fiction (then I don’t need a pen for notes!). I downloaded a fiction book from an author I like (Lisa Jewell if you’re asking!) for 99p and fired it up! Well, it felt a bit weird to start I will be honest, but I have had it a week now and I have decided I LOVE IT! It’s so easy, I even slipped it in the back pocket of my jeans this morning on my usual morning walk and sat and had a coffee and a cheeky read on the beach!!! It’s so light and easy and convenient, AND IT’S GETTING ME OFF MY PHONE – again – this is the key thing – without effort.

Why does the Kindle work? Three main reasons:

1. It has no colour (same as the greyscale) or animation, so it creates a much lower stimulation environment than a phone screen.
2. It reduces the cognitive load on our brain because it is LIMITED in terms of its content. My attention can only be on that one thing, the book, not on 23 different things a minute in a newsfeed.
3. Most important one I think is that it’s an “ambush-free environment” I can’t suddenly be ambushed by what horrifying things the worst people in the world are doing this very afternoon, or how the planet, children or animals are suffering. This is emotionally far better for my nervous system, and probably yours also. Being continually ambushed by suffering we cannot alleviate is emotionally utterly exhausting and we are not built for it.

So, those are my two power moves! I love my phone and all the incredible things I can do with it (control my central heating! Navigate with google maps! Order my groceries! Communicate with my amazing Academy members and VIP clients! Facetime my loved ones! Pay my bills! Do Wordle!) but I DON’T love the way it sucks time and attention from my life, and how my emotions can get hijacked. Like I said at the beginning, I don’t believe my nervous system is wired to be able to handle updates on what the worst people in the world are doing every 15 minutes.

These two simple changes have given me a lot of peace so I thought I would share as inspiration if you wanted to reduce your scrolling time too.

So are going to try either of these peaceful power moves or if there is something else you do to keep your own screen time in check, and – if you want to do the ultimate thing for your wellbeing check out my Coaching Academy and come join us.

Have a great day.

P.S, Here are your helpful bits of settings info for setting up Greyscale! Of course, you can also google your make and model of phone: 

On an iPhone, it is: 

Turn on Greyscale (iPhone)

1. Go to Settings
2. Tap Accessibility
3. Tap Display & Text Size
4. Tap Colour Filters
5. Toggle Colour Filters ON
6. Select Greyscale

Make it quick to switch on/off (worth doing)

So, you’re not digging through menus:

1. Go to Settings
2. Tap Accessibility
3. Scroll to Accessibility Shortcut (right at the bottom)
4. Tick Colour Filters

Now you can triple-click the side button to toggle greyscale on/off instantly.

On a Samsung it is:

Turn on Greyscale (Samsung)

1. Go to Settings
2. Tap Accessibility
3. Tap Visibility enhancements (sometimes called “Vision enhancements” depending on model)
4. Tap Colour adjustment
5. Toggle it ON
6. Select Greyscale

Quick toggle (worth setting up)

1. Go to Settings
2. Tap Accessibility
3. Tap Advanced settings
4. Tap Accessibility button or Side key shortcut
5. Assign Colour adjustment

Now you can switch greyscale on/off quickly without digging through menus.

The post The TWO moves (that you won’t guess) that cut my screen time in HALF in a WEEK! appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

11 lessons you don’t understand until your 50s

1. Peace matters more than anything, in all areas of life. Pursue Peace in all things, it is our best compass for a happy life.
2. Peace and passivity are not the same. Sometimes the most peaceful choice is to Let It Go (Elsa was right), sometimes it is to Stand Up In Truth. But always pursue peace. It is always true north.
3. Our health is our real wealth (physical AND mental). Invest, Invest. Invest. 
4. Time is our most important currency. Spend it wisely, it does not replenish.
5. Behaviour is language. Not everyone deserves a second chance.
6. Your circle gets smaller and better. Quality over quantity.
7. Worrying is a mega-waste of emotional energy. Learning how to control this is the best mental health investment you can make (I teach this in my Academy).
8. Happiness lives in the simplest things and moments if we pause to seek it.
9. The only drama I want is in a boxset. Perpetual drama-magnet people are not for me, nor is gossip. I like my drama on a screen with an off button, thank you!
10. Boundaries are about communicating the choices I will make, not controlling other people. They are an underrated peaceful super-power.
11. Life is so much lighter when you stop rushing. Catch the moments.  Do less. Connect more.

Those are my – ahem – ELEVEN. Tell me, which one of those life lessons resonates the most? Is there one you would add?

Have a great day

P.S. some beautiful words I recently received from Lynette, a wonderful Academy Member

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1. They celebrate our wins and support our goals (even if they don’t completely agree)
2. They remember the small things about us, the details that matter
3. They respect our boundaries
4. We feel energised after spending time with them
5. They listen without becoming defensive
6. They allow us to be fully ourselves and not have to edit ourselves – we can be our fullest geekiest, goofiest self
7. They make us feel safe
8. We don’t have to watch what we say around them
9. They take responsibility without deflecting or over-explaining
10. They repair things quickly when there’s tension, rather than letting it drag on
11. They can hold space for us to have a difficult conversation together and keep the focus on solving the problem not attacking each other
12. They are genuinely pleased by our growth, even when it changes the dynamic
13. They can handle disagreement without making it personal
14. They don’t keep score or bring up the past to win
15. They are reliable in the small, everyday ways, not just the big gestures
16. They ask thoughtful questions and show real curiosity about our inner world
17. They respect our time as well as our boundaries
18. They speak well of people who aren’t in the room
19. They don’t need us to shrink to feel comfortable
20. They manage their own emotions rather than expecting us to manage them
21. They are nice to the barista and waitstaff

I hope you have people in your life where you experience many of these Green Flags.

Has this made you realise how lucky you are? Or there maybe is someone you want to flick a quick message to say “You know, I was just thinking how much I appreciate you ” and make their day? Has it made you realise how well you show up for others and are a green flag for them?

Lots of ponder and I hope to celebrate?

Oh, and if you want to increase the number of Green Flag interactions in your daily life you should join my Coaching Academy of marvellous women: it is a veritable festival of Green Flags! Deets are here, and we would love to welcome you.

Have a great day

The post 21 Green Flags ⛳️ how many do your key relationships tick? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now”.

So good, yes?

What do you wish you had started 5 years ago that you had continued right through to today?

• Small monthly contribution to an investment plan?
• 5 minute morning journalling habit?
• Weekly phone call to your Gran for 10 minutes?
• Joined Wellbeing Warriors and done the 2-minute daily challenge each day
• Stopped eating processed sugar or drinking alcohol?
• 7000 steps a day whatever the weather

Who would you BE now if you had done those things every day/week/month for the last 5 years? If they were baked into your being and your life now? How would your body/bank account/happiness/connection be after 1825 days / 60 months / 260 weeks of continuous low-level investment?

Literally WHO WOULD YOU BE NOW?

Whoever she is, remember that proverb we started with

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now”.

And start today.

Here is the perfect image for this principle:

The post What if I could wind the clock back 5 years for you? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Quick question that I would like for you to answer for yourself WITHOUT JUDGEMENT or beating yourself up in ANY way… okay?!

How are the goals/intentions you set for yourself in January going? 

Are you on track or exceeding them? Or…has life got in the way?

I am willing to bet most of you are saying the latter, and zero shade on you if you are. The truth is, MAKING CHANGE IS REALLY HARD. Even if it’s something you really want for yourself.

Life is busy and demanding in 2026. The level of external noise and worry is extraordinary. Our nervous systems are in a perpetual state of alert We are all carrying an addictive attention sucking device with us 24/7. We are eating food that is engineered to mess with our biological rhythms and mood. Making personal considered change in that kind of environment is HARD, so, please… do not be down on yourself. It’s not YOU, It’s the ENVIRONMENT.

We live in an environment that keeps us locked in a perpetual state of hurry and stress and it takes a phenomenal amount of willpower just to get through the day… it is NO WONDER AT ALL that personal goals and change are so difficult to make happen. It takes all our motivation and will power just to get through the day each day as we reel from the latest global catastrophe.

So, how can we make change effectively? Well, we need to stop relying on willpower and motivation for a start. Hoping/Trusting we will do something when we feel like doing it is not a recipe for success to lose 15kgs or become debt free or finish writing our memoir. Given the environment we will often be too tired too stressed and simply not feel like it and not have the willpower reserves to make ourselves take action. That’s what’s happening in the graph here…

So, you can see from that we need to change the environment in order to support change. That’s when we can RELY ON THE SYSTEM FOR SUPPORTED CHANGE not on our INEVITABLY fluctuating willpower and motivation.

We need a SYSTEM that negates the need for motivation and willpower.

That might look like:

• Joining a gym class, 4 x a week with a friend who you pick up on the way. You get there and then the energy of the class – the SYSTEM – will be the container, the structure, to hold your change.
• Setting up a financial structure of payments and accounts that get automatically set to ensure that you WILL be debt free in 19 months from now. Again, the SYSTEM – will be the container, the structure, to hold your change. No motivation or willpower needed.
• You structure a “writing morning” two mornings a week with a set word count to achieve and an online accountability group to cheer you on. The SYSTEM – will be the container, the structure, to hold your change. In 6 months, at just 1200 words a week, you will have your book!

All these systems take the place of the motivation and willpower that we cannot rely on having in 2026. It’s used up just getting through the day so SYSTEMS that ENABLE, SUPPORT AND HOLD change are the way to go.

(FYI: The Wellbeing Warriors Coaching Academy does exactly this. It’s an elegant structure for supported personal growth and change with a huge group energy that creates its own microcosm, its own environment for effective personal change. I see the difference it makes every single day.)

So, if you are not achieving the change you want in 2026, PLEASE do not beat yourself up. The environment for change is HARD in 2026. You don’t need to shout at yourself more; you need to find the right STRUCTURE to support your change, whether that’s a gym, a buddy, or a suite of new bank accounts. Introducing a solid structure is your route to change.

The post Has life got in the way of your plans? appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.