It’s an interesting thing – some people just seem to be born knowing who they are and even from a small child, you see them plough their individual furrow in life. Their way, right from the Get-Go. Right outta the gate they are true to their unique take on the world and their place within it. The majority of us through…It.  Takes. Time. So much people pleasing to be done first, no! Decades of it! Myriad schools, qualifications, partners, career, home choices and so on are made to fit the vision that other people have or expect.

​​​​​​​How does it look when you start trusting your own version of you? 

How do you know when you are starting to live more truly to yourself?

1. You can give yourself permission to change your mind.

And, you can change your mind without calling it quitting and beating your sweet self up over it. You just know it’s not right for you. Maybe it was before. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was a mistake all along. But, regardless of what others’ judgment might be about you saying the course YOU know it’s wrong and you give yourself permission to change direction anyway.

2. You’ve outgrown a few relationships or situations, and you are not clinging or feeling guilty about it.

Life is all about growth: internal and external; it’s at different speeds and directions for us all. And that’s okay. You may outgrow friendship groups. Or relationships, or careers, or countries and all of that is OK. We are not meant to stay the same forever (and nor is anyone else!). In such a global world of possibility and opportunity, our personal journeys are meant to overlap with many others: we might be on parallel tracks for a bit and then one or the other might speed up and away. We are not left behind or in front. We are just on different tracks and that’s more than OK. Release with love.

3. You realise that life doesn’t feel good, all the time, and that’s OK too.

This is a biggie. The “pursuit of happiness” after all is drummed into us left, right and centre from before we can walk. But, as humans, we are programmed to experience and process a range of human emotions: not just happiness. We might be happiness-seeking machines, but we are also programmed to feel sadness, guilt, irritation, boredom, anger, resentment, fear. 

When we can observe these emotions for a moment without frantically trying to escape them (Booze! Drugs! Overworking! Exercising like crazy! Food! Sugar! Pizza! Oh, go on then, just one more slice! Wine! Just a quick one!) we can discern what their message to us is – and how to course correct ourselves.

It is easier to navigate which way happiness is when we know where it isn’t, and we can refine the road all the way. That it’s more efficient to allow ourselves to feel sad, or scared or bored, to move through that feeling, than it is to keep and avoid feeling it with one more wine. When you are being true to yourself, you are being true to what you really feel.

4. Some people like you, some people don’t and that’s OK.

7 billion people on the planet. They ain’t all gonna like you and approve of you and all your choices! It’s an impossibility to even try. You do you. Let them do them. Don’t sweat the haters. Stay in your integrity. The more you love your choices the less you need other people to.

5. You have boundaries that you hold, no matter the consequences.

When you start realising that your boundaries are not things you put up to beat other people with, but merely lines in the sand that keep YOU safe, that you can stand behind – and other people can choose accordingly – that is a huge step on living a life that is true to yourself.

To be able to say “this is ok for me, and this, this is not, this I will not tolerate” and then let others choose how they will behave around you. There is an enormous sense of peace in that. Most will respect your boundaries, and say “of course, that is no problem, I had no idea that was so important to you” and a few will not and test if you really mean it. Being able to voice a boundary is huge. Being able to stand firm on your boundary, and know what is non-negotiable for you IS being true to you. At its very essence, it is where you – stand up and show up – for you.

I hope you have been able to tick at least a few of these today.

The post 5 Signs You Are Being True To Yourself appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

In yoga teaching land we say “Work to your edge”.

Sounds very cool.

But…when I first started yoga waaaayyyy back many moons ago, and the teacher encouragingly whispered “Work to your edge, Louise” to me the first time, I thought… “edge of what, lady?!” I didn’t know what she was on about.

I later found out that “Working to your edge” means to take it to your “comfortable maximum”.

Basically, this is the place at the top of your body’s ability.

The edge of challenge and failure.

The place where if you worked any less you’d be slacking, any more and you’d fall on your ass or hurt yourself.

It’s a fine line, your edge.

I like to say it is “Dancing on the edge of discomfort” 

And here’s the important thing to know…

The edge of discomfort IS WHERE WE GROW.

That is where we find just how much we can expand our heart, our skills, our capacity, our LIFE.

The place where we are challenged, scared we will fall on our ass, fail, or fly.

Our edge for growth right now may be in business (do I try for that promotion? Start my own business?) in love (do I get vulnerable? Do I ask him/her out?) or in our body (do I take that crossfit class? Sign up to that race?).

In order to have a rounded, and expansive life we are touching our edge in all directions…

(when we are not, and we are too long in the comfort zone…that’s being “stuck in a rut”).

Taking it to the edge  – THAT, my friends,  is how we grow as humans.

(It is also what every module of Wellbeing Warriors is cleverly crafted to do).

To help you, in a safe, structured way, dance on the edge of your discomfort.

So, you can expand your self-awareness and skills and grow into the next level of yourself, 

To take you to experiencing your edge in a way you know you will not fall.

Growth  – in any area  of life  – does not happen in your comfort zone,

It happens on your edge.

So – today, my friend, find a way to test where the edge of your comfort zone lies.

Find that place between failing and flying.

And reach a little further,

Dancing on the edge is where all the good stuff is to be found.

You’ve got this.

Reach.

The post Dancing On The Edge Of Discomfort appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.

Ctrl-Alt-Delete … I believe we all have the capacity to start over anytime. To wipe the slate and to choose different things for ourselves whenever we make that commitment to reach for something better for our lives. And that can happen on the 1^st January, the 23^rd of May,the 3^rd of September at 1.02am, hey it can happen today! The time is irrelevant. What is important is the COMMITMENT to the intention and the ENERGY from which it is made.

As a yoga teacher and a life coach I see many people swept away with the enticing glamour of the New Year resolution. What I am much more interested in is working with people to make lasting positive change in their life that sticks.

Like in the ad, “a dog isn’t just for Christmas”, well, I believe that “resolutions are not just for New Year!” Here are my top tips for making your resolutions not just last the year but be the long term positive change in your life you are looking for:

1. Your resolution is positive not negative. ie. Not to lose weight but to gain fitness.
2. It comes from an energy of love rather than fear. ie. I have to got to a yoga class each week as I am so worried about my weight v’s which class would I just love to go to, that I look forward to, that is me giving a gift of time to myself each week.
3. That your resolution is heavily and frequently reward based. ie. Every day I cook a proper dinner/spend extra time with the kids/go to the gym/whatever I will reward myself with a long hot bath/new magazine/nice glass of red. When you are trying to change a particularly stubborn/old habit you cannot reward yourself too much or too often as start to establish the newly resolved habit.
4. Your resolution is aligned with who you really are. Your resolution needs to resonate with who you really are, not some mythical idea of this perfect being in your head. It comes from a place of accepting who you are ( ie. I will never be Cindy Crawford) but moves you to being the best you you can be (fit, toned, healthy, happy)
5. That there is a full awareness of the benefits, not just short term but long term. ie. Getting fit. 3 month benefit will fit into my jeans. 1 year benefit: be able to hike the Tongariro Crossing. 5 year benefit: be able to go skiing with my children. 10 year benefit: better quality of life in retirement. Long term focus helps you to keep your eye on the prize.
6. Resolve with discernment. Choose a maximum of 3 resolutions and bring your commitment and focus to achieving them. You don’t have to wait until next January if you achieve them, you can revise or add to them when you like, but keep that initial focus narrow so you can actually achieve. Better to have 3 resolutions and achieve them than make 10 and achieve none.
7. Enjoy the journey not just the destination. That’s why it’s called a yoga practice people, not a yoga destination. But the best way to become flexible is to enjoy the journey of classes each week rather than focusing on the end goal of flexibility. That’s what makes any resolution so much easier to stick to, when we enjoy the process of it rather than forcing ourselves through something we hate just to get to some pre-resolved end point.

So, there you have it: take a minute to think about what you’d like to start over, then think of the positive resolutions needed to achieve these. I hope these tips help you to move forward in the direction of your dreams!

Go on, write it down (then it’s real!!). Share your resolution in the comment box below.

The post How To Make A Resolution Today For A Positive Ever After appeared first on Louise Thompson, Life Coach, Wellbeing Writer and Speaker.